Hal Heinze
@hsquared8.bsky.social
Fan of movies, music, sci-fi, soccer (MNUFC & Chelsea), and a well-made spreadsheet.
MLS wants to go to a winter schedule but can’t deal with college and NFL game conflicts already? How about a whole season of Tuesday and Wednesday games so we avoid the “big $” leagues? Are they realizing this makes the case for staying in spring/summer schedule?
November 10, 2025 at 2:10 PM
MLS wants to go to a winter schedule but can’t deal with college and NFL game conflicts already? How about a whole season of Tuesday and Wednesday games so we avoid the “big $” leagues? Are they realizing this makes the case for staying in spring/summer schedule?
Mondays still suck. Loons break the balance of the universe by somehow beating the Flounders again at Lumen field. MLS Goalkeeper of the Year DSC shows up big. Over/under on how many times I fall asleep during the game = 2.
elmo from sesame street is standing in front of a building with the words oh no it 's monday again
ALT: elmo from sesame street is standing in front of a building with the words oh no it 's monday again
media.tenor.com
November 3, 2025 at 4:27 PM
Mondays still suck. Loons break the balance of the universe by somehow beating the Flounders again at Lumen field. MLS Goalkeeper of the Year DSC shows up big. Over/under on how many times I fall asleep during the game = 2.
Loons defy the odds and beat Seattle for the third time this season. Markanich with a goal (cause the dude just scores) and a goal from Lod (cause the dude is clutch).
Mondays and MLS schedulers still suck even with a win.
Mondays and MLS schedulers still suck even with a win.
a brown teddy bear wearing a brown hat with the word monday on it
ALT: a brown teddy bear wearing a brown hat with the word monday on it
media.tenor.com
October 27, 2025 at 1:09 PM
Loons defy the odds and beat Seattle for the third time this season. Markanich with a goal (cause the dude just scores) and a goal from Lod (cause the dude is clutch).
Mondays and MLS schedulers still suck even with a win.
Mondays and MLS schedulers still suck even with a win.
No snow storm in the second half so Loons win 3-0 to bring home El Traffic Cone.
a bear is walking down a road next to an orange traffic cone .
ALT: a bear is walking down a road next to an orange traffic cone .
media.tenor.com
October 4, 2025 at 2:26 PM
No snow storm in the second half so Loons win 3-0 to bring home El Traffic Cone.
Please let us have a game without the ref being a key part of the storyline. Loons road prowess overcomes high altitude in a 3-1 win. The mountains remind Fitz of home and he scores a goal.
September 27, 2025 at 9:19 PM
Please let us have a game without the ref being a key part of the storyline. Loons road prowess overcomes high altitude in a 3-1 win. The mountains remind Fitz of home and he scores a goal.
It’s a US Open Cup game so the safe bet is to predict a set piece goal from Markanich.
Loons win 2-1. Lots of fouls & yellow cards too.
Loons win 2-1. Lots of fouls & yellow cards too.
September 17, 2025 at 12:33 PM
It’s a US Open Cup game so the safe bet is to predict a set piece goal from Markanich.
Loons win 2-1. Lots of fouls & yellow cards too.
Loons win 2-1. Lots of fouls & yellow cards too.
Hope we get some new player bounce and surprise SD with a narrow win. SD fans look to pick a fight but Loons away fans just want to talk about the weather and exchange hot dish recipes.
September 13, 2025 at 3:53 PM
Hope we get some new player bounce and surprise SD with a narrow win. SD fans look to pick a fight but Loons away fans just want to talk about the weather and exchange hot dish recipes.
Saw Gressel at the State Fair this week and I think he can deliver us a goal-on-a-stick tonight. Loons win 2-1 in a nail biter. Coach Phil will be confused and annoyed at refs most of the game.
August 30, 2025 at 2:01 PM
Saw Gressel at the State Fair this week and I think he can deliver us a goal-on-a-stick tonight. Loons win 2-1 in a nail biter. Coach Phil will be confused and annoyed at refs most of the game.
Loons go up two goals (hopefully Tani time) and Vera loses his mind and spits on Boxy for a red card. We earn 3 pts, smile and hand Boxy a towel
August 23, 2025 at 11:04 PM
Loons go up two goals (hopefully Tani time) and Vera loses his mind and spits on Boxy for a red card. We earn 3 pts, smile and hand Boxy a towel
Hope we get some new players today with names that take us all three weeks to learn how to pronounce properly.
a bald man in a blue suit is giving a welcome back gesture
ALT: a bald man in a blue suit is giving a welcome back gesture
media.tenor.com
August 21, 2025 at 3:31 PM
Hope we get some new players today with names that take us all three weeks to learn how to pronounce properly.
Loons celebrate heritage game by playing Seattle like we historically have played them - by losing. This is one time I hope my prophecy is 100% wrong.
August 16, 2025 at 2:18 PM
Loons celebrate heritage game by playing Seattle like we historically have played them - by losing. This is one time I hope my prophecy is 100% wrong.
Newest loon Tommy scores a banger in the opening minute.
After a week of coach giving the team an earful on poor performance recently the Loons turn it around and find the back of the net repeatedly to cruise to a comfortable 4-1 win.
After a week of coach giving the team an earful on poor performance recently the Loons turn it around and find the back of the net repeatedly to cruise to a comfortable 4-1 win.
August 10, 2025 at 4:05 PM
Newest loon Tommy scores a banger in the opening minute.
After a week of coach giving the team an earful on poor performance recently the Loons turn it around and find the back of the net repeatedly to cruise to a comfortable 4-1 win.
After a week of coach giving the team an earful on poor performance recently the Loons turn it around and find the back of the net repeatedly to cruise to a comfortable 4-1 win.
A disturbance in the LoonyBin Force. Impossible to see, the future is (for a few games)
yoda from star wars is sitting on a couch and saying impossible to see , the future is .
ALT: yoda from star wars is sitting on a couch and saying impossible to see , the future is .
media.tenor.com
August 8, 2025 at 5:54 PM
A disturbance in the LoonyBin Force. Impossible to see, the future is (for a few games)
Another Leagues Cup game? Oh, the answer is easy…Bongi scores.
a soccer player wearing a blue adidas jersey kicks a soccer ball
ALT: a soccer player wearing a blue adidas jersey kicks a soccer ball
media.tenor.com
August 6, 2025 at 12:47 PM
Another Leagues Cup game? Oh, the answer is easy…Bongi scores.
Loons have not had a red card all season, but tonight might be the night. I could see Rosales, Diaz or Romero as potential red card earners in a feisty match. Leagues Cup brings out the cards like Bongi brings the goals.
August 2, 2025 at 3:43 PM
Loons have not had a red card all season, but tonight might be the night. I could see Rosales, Diaz or Romero as potential red card earners in a feisty match. Leagues Cup brings out the cards like Bongi brings the goals.
Loons need someone unexpected to step up and take control tonight…
Paging Carlos Harvey, paging Carlos Harvey.
Paging Carlos Harvey, paging Carlos Harvey.
kermit the frog is sitting at a desk talking on the phone
ALT: kermit the frog is sitting at a desk talking on the phone
media.tenor.com
July 26, 2025 at 3:57 PM
Loons need someone unexpected to step up and take control tonight…
Paging Carlos Harvey, paging Carlos Harvey.
Paging Carlos Harvey, paging Carlos Harvey.
Trapp. Where there’s a Wil, there’s a cartwheel
July 22, 2025 at 9:12 PM
Trapp. Where there’s a Wil, there’s a cartwheel
Bongi heartbroken over the SBJ trade takes it out on the Timbers with a yellow and a goal. There will be a late goal to win it. Crystal ball not clear on if it goes Loons way today.
July 19, 2025 at 4:01 PM
Bongi heartbroken over the SBJ trade takes it out on the Timbers with a yellow and a goal. There will be a late goal to win it. Crystal ball not clear on if it goes Loons way today.
Tonight the Loons STARS look great in the new kit. Markanich KICKS another goal. One of our STRIKERS scores another. LAFC falls to UNITED amid the roars and THUNDER of the Minnesota faithful. COYL
July 16, 2025 at 4:13 PM
Tonight the Loons STARS look great in the new kit. Markanich KICKS another goal. One of our STRIKERS scores another. LAFC falls to UNITED amid the roars and THUNDER of the Minnesota faithful. COYL
I thought he might get one after the game ended and he is still on the ref.
July 13, 2025 at 3:07 AM
I thought he might get one after the game ended and he is still on the ref.
Loons win with a Pereyra goal.
Aurora win with a Cat Rapp goal.
Bruce Arena gets a yellow arguing with the ref.
Aurora win with a Cat Rapp goal.
Bruce Arena gets a yellow arguing with the ref.
July 12, 2025 at 9:01 PM
Loons win with a Pereyra goal.
Aurora win with a Cat Rapp goal.
Bruce Arena gets a yellow arguing with the ref.
Aurora win with a Cat Rapp goal.
Bruce Arena gets a yellow arguing with the ref.
It’s a 3G night. 3 Games to go to win the Cup and the Loons notch a win tonight to keep the dream alive. 3 Goals scored by the Loons (I think our strikers start to find the mark). And 3G Gregg gets out coached by the Welshman.
July 8, 2025 at 3:58 PM
It’s a 3G night. 3 Games to go to win the Cup and the Loons notch a win tonight to keep the dream alive. 3 Goals scored by the Loons (I think our strikers start to find the mark). And 3G Gregg gets out coached by the Welshman.
We hold these truths to be self evident that Loons will snag 3 pts and 3 yellow cards on a road victory in Dallas as we wave the colors red, white, and Minnesota black and blue. Happy 4th !
July 4, 2025 at 4:21 PM
We hold these truths to be self evident that Loons will snag 3 pts and 3 yellow cards on a road victory in Dallas as we wave the colors red, white, and Minnesota black and blue. Happy 4th !
Not a bold prediction:
It’s a road game win for the Loons.
Bold prediction:
Owen Gene with a goal.
It’s a road game win for the Loons.
Bold prediction:
Owen Gene with a goal.
June 28, 2025 at 9:03 PM
Not a bold prediction:
It’s a road game win for the Loons.
Bold prediction:
Owen Gene with a goal.
It’s a road game win for the Loons.
Bold prediction:
Owen Gene with a goal.
A Bongi brace every home game would be nice so get his little brother season tickets asap.
June 26, 2025 at 3:06 AM
A Bongi brace every home game would be nice so get his little brother season tickets asap.