admittedly i feel a little silly calling myself an adult but i feel like i have to "act like one" around everyone and i hate it. i've gotten better with opening up since starting uni but there's still a barrier.

idk why i talk on here like someone's reading any of this but hhjwjwljhkjjlh HELP .w.

worse, i do actually like talking about my interests, and i don't feel like i can
like THIS is exactly why i like pins & keychains on my bag, but i'm such a wuss i still haven't 3D printed that lil bluey longdog keychain (mind you, a niche ref & a series that A LOT of adults actually LIKE!)

and i don't like most "adult" media (shows, games, etc.), i PREFER a lot of "kids" stuff as it turns out so i feel like i'll be perceived as weird for it

so i just don't share my interests with most people
it's easy on the internet because i get "anonymity" but i just can't irl and it makes me sad

i think i worry a lot what other people will think of me based off of my media choices and interests because i think i see those choices as extensions or maybe representations of myself a little bit (because they kinda are)

perhaps i need to be better about not fearing judgement from people

update: my last.fm was not safe today (as it turns out there are certain tracks from the OST that i like more than i thought, actually)

i'm so tired but gonna be hard to sleep now
yaaaaay