We’re glad to be back! I’d avoid conference room 3 for time being, until the coffee machine has been removed. Of course, we want to assure you that the situation is under control. The screaming is merely the grinding of beans, and the scarlet froth isn’t harmful in any way.

Nothing sinister at all, absolutely not - for example - something that wakes us every two hours crying in a voice like the collapse of undersea chasms, and needs to be bottle-fed squid ink.

I adored that book