The Joan Crawford of Cartoon Dogs
@hotbutteredrat.bsky.social
Big Girls Leaves a Hole
I miss being a dumb bitch at the bowling alley
July 12, 2025 at 10:43 PM
I miss being a dumb bitch at the bowling alley
Outshine Piña Colada goes incredibly hard
July 10, 2025 at 4:08 AM
Outshine Piña Colada goes incredibly hard
I really will click on the dumbest shit
July 8, 2025 at 3:50 AM
I really will click on the dumbest shit
I caught a bug on my husband’s pillow with an empty pill bottle and he looks like he’s wrapping up a Looney Toon
March 7, 2025 at 4:32 AM
I caught a bug on my husband’s pillow with an empty pill bottle and he looks like he’s wrapping up a Looney Toon
Feeling like Bjork at that airport, watch out baby
March 5, 2025 at 5:02 PM
Feeling like Bjork at that airport, watch out baby
Big ups to our nameless good sister fighting for her life in the office bathroom right now, hang in there baby!
February 26, 2025 at 5:31 PM
Big ups to our nameless good sister fighting for her life in the office bathroom right now, hang in there baby!
Why’s my dog smell like low tide
February 22, 2025 at 6:42 PM
Why’s my dog smell like low tide
Trying to unpack my irrational biases this year, like why do I think scrambled being your favorite kind of egg is a sign of low intelligence? (It is)
January 1, 2025 at 5:49 PM
Trying to unpack my irrational biases this year, like why do I think scrambled being your favorite kind of egg is a sign of low intelligence? (It is)
Do I rally for Chappel night or do I rot at home? Wearing a bedazzled juicy top either way
December 28, 2024 at 7:41 PM
Do I rally for Chappel night or do I rot at home? Wearing a bedazzled juicy top either way
Uh oh, mom’s spinning out!
December 19, 2024 at 7:44 PM
Uh oh, mom’s spinning out!
Twitter going down really fucked shit up for me, because where am I supposed to post my cries for help? On instagram?? For my coworkers???
December 17, 2024 at 3:47 PM
Twitter going down really fucked shit up for me, because where am I supposed to post my cries for help? On instagram?? For my coworkers???
Dreamt last night that my husband gave our dog away while I was at the store. Can’t wait for him to wake up so I can tell him we’re fighting.
December 1, 2024 at 2:26 PM
Dreamt last night that my husband gave our dog away while I was at the store. Can’t wait for him to wake up so I can tell him we’re fighting.
Should I give the baby a buttermilk bath like a fair pig?
November 28, 2024 at 3:41 AM
Should I give the baby a buttermilk bath like a fair pig?
I need a food scientist to explain to me why microwave coffee sucks so bad
November 23, 2024 at 3:12 PM
I need a food scientist to explain to me why microwave coffee sucks so bad
Big day for the loose recyclables in the side yard
November 23, 2024 at 6:15 AM
Big day for the loose recyclables in the side yard
To the woman who drove through the daycare parking lot this morning bumping Lindsay Lohan’s debut single “Rumors” loud enough to be heard through her closed windows and mine: I see you babe
November 22, 2024 at 4:58 AM
To the woman who drove through the daycare parking lot this morning bumping Lindsay Lohan’s debut single “Rumors” loud enough to be heard through her closed windows and mine: I see you babe
Valiantly returning to therapy today, hoping the good doctor can help me cope with having such an amazing rack🤞😰
November 20, 2024 at 6:18 PM
Valiantly returning to therapy today, hoping the good doctor can help me cope with having such an amazing rack🤞😰
Back in the loving arms of nicotine, I fear
November 18, 2024 at 8:07 PM
Back in the loving arms of nicotine, I fear
Listen
November 17, 2024 at 7:14 AM
Listen
Wish I laughed less like that fat Greek podcast guy
November 17, 2024 at 7:12 AM
Wish I laughed less like that fat Greek podcast guy
Bad news from the zone, tumbleweeds, it looks like I’m gonna have to microwave this shrimp
November 16, 2024 at 7:26 PM
Bad news from the zone, tumbleweeds, it looks like I’m gonna have to microwave this shrimp
Do I want a rebounder or do I need to be back on Lexapro
November 15, 2024 at 10:28 PM
Do I want a rebounder or do I need to be back on Lexapro
I accidentally washed our sheets with our toddler’s poop pants :-(
January 19, 2024 at 10:42 PM
I accidentally washed our sheets with our toddler’s poop pants :-(
I am pregnant, overwhelmed, exhausted, weepy, and hanging on by a thread. Better try making my own pizza dough for my family’s dinner for the first time.
January 3, 2024 at 12:07 AM
I am pregnant, overwhelmed, exhausted, weepy, and hanging on by a thread. Better try making my own pizza dough for my family’s dinner for the first time.
Moisturizing for a sense of control.
January 2, 2024 at 11:19 PM
Moisturizing for a sense of control.