Brian of the Smiths
@honkywonk.bsky.social
The Venn Diagram of "having a handlebar mustache tattoo" and "being in the C-Suite" USED TO be two circles.
September 18, 2025 at 11:42 PM
The Venn Diagram of "having a handlebar mustache tattoo" and "being in the C-Suite" USED TO be two circles.
Every white person should pay a dollar any time they say "woke".
August 2, 2025 at 1:14 AM
Every white person should pay a dollar any time they say "woke".
This is the first time in ever that MAGA has fully grasped the truth of a situation.
July 16, 2025 at 12:39 AM
This is the first time in ever that MAGA has fully grasped the truth of a situation.
Growing up, boomers were constantly saying things like "What do you mean you don't know what BLAH is? Everybody knows BLAH!", and now we're constantly telling them the shit happening in their own backyard.
June 28, 2025 at 1:43 AM
Growing up, boomers were constantly saying things like "What do you mean you don't know what BLAH is? Everybody knows BLAH!", and now we're constantly telling them the shit happening in their own backyard.
The Ultimate Warrior should've had a sidekick called the Penultimate Warrior.
June 26, 2025 at 2:10 PM
The Ultimate Warrior should've had a sidekick called the Penultimate Warrior.
Does anyone know any rats a la Ratatouille but they're proficient in carpentry instead of cooking? I have some projects around the house and don't mind getting my hair pulled.
June 21, 2025 at 2:40 AM
Does anyone know any rats a la Ratatouille but they're proficient in carpentry instead of cooking? I have some projects around the house and don't mind getting my hair pulled.
How many roses properly gets the message across that you're really sorry for vaping in front of the baby?
June 18, 2025 at 12:32 AM
How many roses properly gets the message across that you're really sorry for vaping in front of the baby?
I swear Brian Wilson already died like 20 years ago.
June 15, 2025 at 2:23 AM
I swear Brian Wilson already died like 20 years ago.
"My Dinner With Andre" reenacted by Mike Patton and Eric Andre. Mike Patton portrays the classic Wallace Shawn character, neurotic and dreading the prospect of an evening with his friend Eric Andre.
June 5, 2025 at 1:19 AM
"My Dinner With Andre" reenacted by Mike Patton and Eric Andre. Mike Patton portrays the classic Wallace Shawn character, neurotic and dreading the prospect of an evening with his friend Eric Andre.
Remember the Muslim Travel Ban? Pepperidge Farm remembers.
June 5, 2025 at 12:55 AM
Remember the Muslim Travel Ban? Pepperidge Farm remembers.
Lightning Bolt is the thinking man's Hella.
May 30, 2025 at 11:04 PM
Lightning Bolt is the thinking man's Hella.
Was there a bigger 80s trope than just biting into an apple?
May 22, 2025 at 12:50 AM
Was there a bigger 80s trope than just biting into an apple?
Of course white people love perfect green lawns, any excuse to decide what lives and what dies.
May 20, 2025 at 10:13 PM
Of course white people love perfect green lawns, any excuse to decide what lives and what dies.
onetwothreefourfive sixseveneightnineten eleventwelve
May 5, 2025 at 10:26 PM
onetwothreefourfive sixseveneightnineten eleventwelve
The video is bad enough, reinforcing how weak Dems are in times of need. But the worst part is knowing this raisin will lead the effort to quash any momentum AOC and Bernie have made going into 2026. Riling up the masses will be replaced with faux activism tropes from the Checkbook Liberal playbook.
Of all the crazy things Republicans want to do, now they want a CAR TAX?!
HELL NO.
HELL NO.
April 30, 2025 at 10:56 AM
The video is bad enough, reinforcing how weak Dems are in times of need. But the worst part is knowing this raisin will lead the effort to quash any momentum AOC and Bernie have made going into 2026. Riling up the masses will be replaced with faux activism tropes from the Checkbook Liberal playbook.
As a White Person, discovering Black Person Secrets is like being 7 years old on Christmas morning all over again, every time.
April 28, 2025 at 9:41 PM
As a White Person, discovering Black Person Secrets is like being 7 years old on Christmas morning all over again, every time.
Yeah you might be a dad but are you "dad enough" to get day-drunk and eat all the expired food in your house instead of throwing it in the trash?
April 6, 2025 at 9:16 PM
Yeah you might be a dad but are you "dad enough" to get day-drunk and eat all the expired food in your house instead of throwing it in the trash?
sleep magic makes you
sleep magic makes you
sleep magic makes you
sleep
...is absolutely a poem that AI could never put together.
sleep magic makes you
sleep magic makes you
sleep
...is absolutely a poem that AI could never put together.
March 27, 2025 at 1:35 AM
sleep magic makes you
sleep magic makes you
sleep magic makes you
sleep
...is absolutely a poem that AI could never put together.
sleep magic makes you
sleep magic makes you
sleep
...is absolutely a poem that AI could never put together.
After exiting the car to the sound of birds, my daughter stated "I want to be a bird when I grow up." This is the stuff that gets me out of bed everyday.
March 27, 2025 at 1:25 AM
After exiting the car to the sound of birds, my daughter stated "I want to be a bird when I grow up." This is the stuff that gets me out of bed everyday.
I've been working on my celebrity impressions, see if you can guess this one.
"I'm a Nazi!"
"Jk I'm not a Nazi."
"Buy my shirts (that have swastikas on them)."
"I'm a Nazi!"
"Jk I'm not a Nazi."
"Buy my shirts (that have swastikas on them)."
February 25, 2025 at 6:34 PM
I've been working on my celebrity impressions, see if you can guess this one.
"I'm a Nazi!"
"Jk I'm not a Nazi."
"Buy my shirts (that have swastikas on them)."
"I'm a Nazi!"
"Jk I'm not a Nazi."
"Buy my shirts (that have swastikas on them)."
Came upon a bowl of candy at work and literally, instinctively did the Homer Simpson wiggling fingers maneuver.
February 18, 2025 at 3:13 PM
Came upon a bowl of candy at work and literally, instinctively did the Homer Simpson wiggling fingers maneuver.
Scientists used DNA from Gary Oldman and Henny Youngman to create the world's first middle-aged man.
February 17, 2025 at 12:20 PM
Scientists used DNA from Gary Oldman and Henny Youngman to create the world's first middle-aged man.
Chevy Chase is hands-down my least favorite of the Steelys Dan.
February 15, 2025 at 5:44 PM
Chevy Chase is hands-down my least favorite of the Steelys Dan.
If you're ever in a bad mood, listen to Vince Guaraldi.
January 30, 2025 at 2:57 PM
If you're ever in a bad mood, listen to Vince Guaraldi.
Saw a soda can in a parking lot that had been run over a couple times. It was flat. Like really really flat. Didn't know something could get that flat.
It was fuckin' flat ok?
It was fuckin' flat ok?
January 25, 2025 at 11:23 PM
Saw a soda can in a parking lot that had been run over a couple times. It was flat. Like really really flat. Didn't know something could get that flat.
It was fuckin' flat ok?
It was fuckin' flat ok?