Why do lawyers on billboards look like it’s the first time they’ve ever smiled?? Looking like a first grade school picture.

Quickly learning that women give me the kind of attention that I’ve longed for from every man I’ve ever dated

I’m about to make mushrooms my entire personality

Listening to Mayday Parade with a fresh tatt and purple hair while making a tweet. The 2010s are baaack bayyybeee.