Your Hometown Skeleton
@hometownskeleton.bsky.social
bringing soul to the surreal. future ghost.
I only recently learned “understudy” isn’t the person who lives under the stage and memorizes everyone’s mistakes.
November 17, 2025 at 2:22 PM
I only recently learned “understudy” isn’t the person who lives under the stage and memorizes everyone’s mistakes.
A minimalist is just someone addicted to throwing away the one cable you’re going to need next week.
November 15, 2025 at 1:57 AM
A minimalist is just someone addicted to throwing away the one cable you’re going to need next week.
Being bilingual just means you can cry in two fonts.
November 9, 2025 at 4:00 AM
Being bilingual just means you can cry in two fonts.
The form asked for Emergency Contact.
I put down the fire department.
They keep texting me “wyd.”
I put down the fire department.
They keep texting me “wyd.”
October 15, 2025 at 4:13 AM
The form asked for Emergency Contact.
I put down the fire department.
They keep texting me “wyd.”
I put down the fire department.
They keep texting me “wyd.”
The ATM said Insert Card.
I slipped in a birthday card.
Then gave me twenty bucks.
I slipped in a birthday card.
Then gave me twenty bucks.
October 7, 2025 at 2:13 PM
The ATM said Insert Card.
I slipped in a birthday card.
Then gave me twenty bucks.
I slipped in a birthday card.
Then gave me twenty bucks.
I keep my reusable bags in the car so I can forget them sustainably.
October 7, 2025 at 12:58 AM
I keep my reusable bags in the car so I can forget them sustainably.
I washed a spoon and called it “doing dishes.” We both knew the truth, but it felt good.
October 6, 2025 at 10:58 PM
I washed a spoon and called it “doing dishes.” We both knew the truth, but it felt good.
The vending machine ate my dollar, so I ate its Snickers. Balance restored.
October 4, 2025 at 4:25 AM
The vending machine ate my dollar, so I ate its Snickers. Balance restored.
I pressed “Caps Lock” and immediately felt taller.
October 3, 2025 at 8:35 PM
I pressed “Caps Lock” and immediately felt taller.
Vending machines don’t sell snacks. They run hostage negotiations with quarters.
October 3, 2025 at 8:33 PM
Vending machines don’t sell snacks. They run hostage negotiations with quarters.
I paid contactless; the card reader and I agreed to stop seeing each other.
September 26, 2025 at 1:50 PM
I paid contactless; the card reader and I agreed to stop seeing each other.
The unsubscribe page said “manage preferences.” I set mine to “mysterious.” Support started typing in riddles.
September 25, 2025 at 11:54 PM
The unsubscribe page said “manage preferences.” I set mine to “mysterious.” Support started typing in riddles.
At baggage claim I said mine was emotional. They sent me to Carousel 2 and it actually helped.
September 25, 2025 at 10:37 PM
At baggage claim I said mine was emotional. They sent me to Carousel 2 and it actually helped.
The hotel’s “complimentary water” told me I look refreshed. I tipped it anyway, just in case.
September 25, 2025 at 10:36 PM
The hotel’s “complimentary water” told me I look refreshed. I tipped it anyway, just in case.
I said “check, please,” and the waiter gently tipped my king over.
September 25, 2025 at 4:13 AM
I said “check, please,” and the waiter gently tipped my king over.
The museum audio guide is just the paintings gossiping
September 22, 2025 at 9:44 PM
The museum audio guide is just the paintings gossiping
Every crosswalk is a peace treaty between shoes and cars
September 22, 2025 at 9:43 PM
Every crosswalk is a peace treaty between shoes and cars
The server asked if I had any dietary restrictions. I said “geography.”
September 13, 2025 at 1:12 PM
The server asked if I had any dietary restrictions. I said “geography.”
HOT SINGLE GRANDMAS IN YOUR AREA WANT YOU TO LOOK AT HOW TALL YOU'VE GOTTEN!!
September 12, 2025 at 6:22 PM
HOT SINGLE GRANDMAS IN YOUR AREA WANT YOU TO LOOK AT HOW TALL YOU'VE GOTTEN!!
You lunge for the checkout scanner, but I’m faster. I slide my loyalty card with a single motion, the beeping echoes like thunder. A free rotisserie chicken appears in your cart.
September 12, 2025 at 2:12 AM
You lunge for the checkout scanner, but I’m faster. I slide my loyalty card with a single motion, the beeping echoes like thunder. A free rotisserie chicken appears in your cart.
At the bank they asked for “proof of address.” I drew a picture of my house. The teller framed it and said, “Beautiful.”
September 12, 2025 at 2:09 AM
At the bank they asked for “proof of address.” I drew a picture of my house. The teller framed it and said, “Beautiful.”
The dating app asked for “my type.” I wrote “Times New Roman.” It matched me with an obituary.
September 11, 2025 at 1:06 PM
The dating app asked for “my type.” I wrote “Times New Roman.” It matched me with an obituary.
I pressed “I’m not a robot” and felt like I’d just gotten away with something huge.
September 11, 2025 at 1:31 AM
I pressed “I’m not a robot” and felt like I’d just gotten away with something huge.
The package said “Fragile.” I whispered, “Same.”
September 10, 2025 at 12:36 PM
The package said “Fragile.” I whispered, “Same.”
Airplane mode doesn’t make your phone safe. It just makes it a tiny airplane.
September 9, 2025 at 3:13 AM
Airplane mode doesn’t make your phone safe. It just makes it a tiny airplane.