I write to cope with how lonely I really am.

Sometimes I wonder if I should just isolate myself from all of humanity.

I just feel like such an alien compared to almost everyone I meet.

And I must admit I'm in a dark place.

I keep drifting back to that idea that "the world would not fundamentally change if I was not around."

It scares me, but it's still truth.

You know those old sayings about how much harder it can be to get back into something once you've been gone long enough?

Yeah... it's like that.

I originally felt like I had a limb cut off or something when my Internet was cut off, because I was pretty severely cut off from my favorite outlet.

There are a couple of VTuber communities I miss so, so much but I've been gone so long now that my heart is breaking because I don't know how to like... socialize with them anymore.

I only really had like a couple of friends I regularly talked to and I've been quiet for so long I feel like an ass.

So i.

I really felt like I needed to post to a secret account or something. But hiding the name felt dumb. Because some part of me wants people to see this by accident.

Like a weirdo...

I just had some thoughts I didn't want to post to main.