Lizzy
@hobgoblins.bsky.social
Jschlatt is sexy in a kinda weasely sort of ratlike way
December 12, 2023 at 6:20 AM
Jschlatt is sexy in a kinda weasely sort of ratlike way
Ricky Gervais trying the don’t insult minorities challenge
December 12, 2023 at 3:01 AM
Ricky Gervais trying the don’t insult minorities challenge
Who called it a wet dream and not a snoregasm
December 3, 2023 at 10:42 AM
Who called it a wet dream and not a snoregasm
It’s funny how people will look at any rock in space and find a reason to think there’s a little alien riding in there
December 3, 2023 at 10:34 AM
It’s funny how people will look at any rock in space and find a reason to think there’s a little alien riding in there
Apparently the 90s word for yeet is “hoite”
November 29, 2023 at 1:18 PM
Apparently the 90s word for yeet is “hoite”
If you think you can drive drunk or high you just haven’t seen yourself do it. Absolutely terrifying to be in the passenger seat. Meanwhile the driver is chilling. BEEP BEEP SKRREEEET MREOOOWW!! PSSHH BLAM WHUUUUOEH. Oh oops I was supposed to turn there. We’ll have to come around.
November 29, 2023 at 7:29 AM
If you think you can drive drunk or high you just haven’t seen yourself do it. Absolutely terrifying to be in the passenger seat. Meanwhile the driver is chilling. BEEP BEEP SKRREEEET MREOOOWW!! PSSHH BLAM WHUUUUOEH. Oh oops I was supposed to turn there. We’ll have to come around.
Shes gonna tell you she can drive high but then you need to tell her what color the stoplights are
November 29, 2023 at 7:17 AM
Shes gonna tell you she can drive high but then you need to tell her what color the stoplights are
I imagine the ancient world did not anticipate the Y0K bug affecting stonehenge
November 20, 2023 at 1:02 PM
I imagine the ancient world did not anticipate the Y0K bug affecting stonehenge
Candlelit canned amulet
November 8, 2023 at 4:59 PM
Candlelit canned amulet
I don’t get all the fuss about subway. I have a fridge at home. If you have a fridge you have a subway.
October 30, 2023 at 3:33 AM
I don’t get all the fuss about subway. I have a fridge at home. If you have a fridge you have a subway.
Reposted by Lizzy
Things are really bad at the moment and I don't know why world leaders refuse to fix everything by organising a flash mob.
October 29, 2023 at 2:37 AM
Things are really bad at the moment and I don't know why world leaders refuse to fix everything by organising a flash mob.
I shave in someone else’s bathroom more often than I poop in someone else’s bathroom
October 17, 2023 at 10:09 PM
I shave in someone else’s bathroom more often than I poop in someone else’s bathroom
The best chef in the world doesn’t have taste buds.
Be who you are.
Be who you are.
October 17, 2023 at 6:51 AM
The best chef in the world doesn’t have taste buds.
Be who you are.
Be who you are.
Two in the think tank
October 16, 2023 at 12:44 AM
Two in the think tank
Wanters Keepers is my mantra
October 13, 2023 at 5:06 AM
Wanters Keepers is my mantra
Do androids look at electric porn?
October 13, 2023 at 2:21 AM
Do androids look at electric porn?
Isn’t it funny that there’s a guy named Jesse Heisenberg in real life, do you think his parents watched breaking bad
October 11, 2023 at 4:04 AM
Isn’t it funny that there’s a guy named Jesse Heisenberg in real life, do you think his parents watched breaking bad
I just realized that car chase sounds are fake
October 8, 2023 at 6:43 AM
I just realized that car chase sounds are fake
We’re going surfin
We’re going surfin
All along the undertow and straight between the horse
I never thought it would come to this but Ryan you can never come home.
We’re going surfin
All along the undertow and straight between the horse
I never thought it would come to this but Ryan you can never come home.
October 8, 2023 at 5:32 AM
We’re going surfin
We’re going surfin
All along the undertow and straight between the horse
I never thought it would come to this but Ryan you can never come home.
We’re going surfin
All along the undertow and straight between the horse
I never thought it would come to this but Ryan you can never come home.
I think the inventor of the time machine will be an archaeologist.
Archaeologists have almost dug up every relic of the past, soon they’ll move to relics of the future to keep their jobs.
Archaeologists have almost dug up every relic of the past, soon they’ll move to relics of the future to keep their jobs.
October 8, 2023 at 5:29 AM
I think the inventor of the time machine will be an archaeologist.
Archaeologists have almost dug up every relic of the past, soon they’ll move to relics of the future to keep their jobs.
Archaeologists have almost dug up every relic of the past, soon they’ll move to relics of the future to keep their jobs.
You take my car to work, I’ll take the shore.
And if you’re out of fuel I guess you can never come home.
Naw naw naw naw naw naw naw naw naw naw naw noo
And if you’re out of fuel I guess you can never come home.
Naw naw naw naw naw naw naw naw naw naw naw noo
October 8, 2023 at 5:21 AM
You take my car to work, I’ll take the shore.
And if you’re out of fuel I guess you can never come home.
Naw naw naw naw naw naw naw naw naw naw naw noo
And if you’re out of fuel I guess you can never come home.
Naw naw naw naw naw naw naw naw naw naw naw noo
Ben Shapiro was named after a spell that summons benches
September 27, 2023 at 8:24 AM
Ben Shapiro was named after a spell that summons benches
My dad, Mac, was surprised when apple made a laptop with the same name as him. But even more surprised was my sister, ChatGPT…
September 22, 2023 at 4:13 AM
My dad, Mac, was surprised when apple made a laptop with the same name as him. But even more surprised was my sister, ChatGPT…
My mouth is SO dry that I could drink a horse
September 19, 2023 at 7:47 AM
My mouth is SO dry that I could drink a horse