@hoagiejam.bsky.social
Me: not to brag but I'm currently inventing an entirely new food,, I call it Hot Pasta Salad
Them: so, pasta
Them: so, pasta
November 21, 2025 at 11:16 PM
Me: not to brag but I'm currently inventing an entirely new food,, I call it Hot Pasta Salad
Them: so, pasta
Them: so, pasta
As much as l'd like to condone eating the rich, we should be mindful of the harmful effects of consuming spoiled meat
November 21, 2025 at 11:15 PM
As much as l'd like to condone eating the rich, we should be mindful of the harmful effects of consuming spoiled meat
You: my bf was linebacker on his highschool football team :)
Me: o yeah well my girlfriend did a performance piece in art school where she ate a bunch of lint and got violently ill :)
Me: o yeah well my girlfriend did a performance piece in art school where she ate a bunch of lint and got violently ill :)
November 21, 2025 at 11:15 PM
You: my bf was linebacker on his highschool football team :)
Me: o yeah well my girlfriend did a performance piece in art school where she ate a bunch of lint and got violently ill :)
Me: o yeah well my girlfriend did a performance piece in art school where she ate a bunch of lint and got violently ill :)
He's 37 but has the ass of a much younger man
November 21, 2025 at 11:13 PM
He's 37 but has the ass of a much younger man
Me n the boys going stir crazy bouncin off the walls complimenting each other's looks, personality, etc
November 21, 2025 at 11:12 PM
Me n the boys going stir crazy bouncin off the walls complimenting each other's looks, personality, etc
im showing him photos of my cats
November 21, 2025 at 11:12 PM
im showing him photos of my cats
Straight people always wanna see u marry your boyfriend?? It's so gross like yuck dude marry ur own boyfriend if it means so much to u
November 21, 2025 at 11:09 PM
Straight people always wanna see u marry your boyfriend?? It's so gross like yuck dude marry ur own boyfriend if it means so much to u
Look I know it's not "cool" to take everything as a personal attack but if God had programmed me for coolness my shelves would be packed with skateboarding trophies instead of diaries full of Bird Facts and Worm Knowledge
November 21, 2025 at 11:07 PM
Look I know it's not "cool" to take everything as a personal attack but if God had programmed me for coolness my shelves would be packed with skateboarding trophies instead of diaries full of Bird Facts and Worm Knowledge
I'm not saying businessmen don't deserve handjobs but ,..., It's not like they really earned them /•:
November 21, 2025 at 11:05 PM
I'm not saying businessmen don't deserve handjobs but ,..., It's not like they really earned them /•:
Me, gearing up to do a cool move: hey do u wanna watch my secret technique?
My bf slowing shaking his head "no"
My bf slowing shaking his head "no"
November 21, 2025 at 11:04 PM
Me, gearing up to do a cool move: hey do u wanna watch my secret technique?
My bf slowing shaking his head "no"
My bf slowing shaking his head "no"
In my america thrift stores don't sort clothes by gender they put everything into 3 piles : military adjacent, Mona Lisa style, and beachwear
November 21, 2025 at 11:03 PM
In my america thrift stores don't sort clothes by gender they put everything into 3 piles : military adjacent, Mona Lisa style, and beachwear
watched Signs for the first time and was pleasantly surprised that it's mostly about baseball
November 21, 2025 at 11:02 PM
watched Signs for the first time and was pleasantly surprised that it's mostly about baseball
If your Art History Bf is getting too cocky on trivia night you can always say "haha check out The Davinci Code over here"
November 21, 2025 at 9:20 PM
If your Art History Bf is getting too cocky on trivia night you can always say "haha check out The Davinci Code over here"
Instead of "correct me if I'm wrong" I'm gonna start saying "neglect me if I'm wrong " as that's a more fitting punishment for the crime of being wrong
November 21, 2025 at 9:19 PM
Instead of "correct me if I'm wrong" I'm gonna start saying "neglect me if I'm wrong " as that's a more fitting punishment for the crime of being wrong
Me: the things I want cannot be bought or sold
My earth sign partner : ??????
My earth sign partner : ??????
November 21, 2025 at 9:18 PM
Me: the things I want cannot be bought or sold
My earth sign partner : ??????
My earth sign partner : ??????
GPS voice: at the light, do whatever you want
November 21, 2025 at 5:29 PM
GPS voice: at the light, do whatever you want
My toxic trait is pointing at every straight woman I see and asking my girlfriend if that’s Rachel from Friends
November 21, 2025 at 5:28 PM
My toxic trait is pointing at every straight woman I see and asking my girlfriend if that’s Rachel from Friends
God, tapping on the microphone that transmits directly into my brain: hello? Hello? Is this thing on lol
Me, screaming in agony
Me, screaming in agony
November 21, 2025 at 5:27 PM
God, tapping on the microphone that transmits directly into my brain: hello? Hello? Is this thing on lol
Me, screaming in agony
Me, screaming in agony
Witches are like “blood magic is really powerful because it calls not only on your ancestors but your descendants too”
Lmao girl What descendants 🤣🤣
Lmao girl What descendants 🤣🤣
November 21, 2025 at 5:26 PM
Witches are like “blood magic is really powerful because it calls not only on your ancestors but your descendants too”
Lmao girl What descendants 🤣🤣
Lmao girl What descendants 🤣🤣
Lil guy working at a French restaurant; that’s oui chef to you
November 21, 2025 at 5:23 PM
Lil guy working at a French restaurant; that’s oui chef to you
Me, elbows deep in a patch of poison ivy: babe come look at this snail !!
November 21, 2025 at 5:22 PM
Me, elbows deep in a patch of poison ivy: babe come look at this snail !!
Nails au gratin
November 21, 2025 at 5:22 PM
Nails au gratin
Hot girls always say the creepiest stuff like “my teeth are lonely “
November 21, 2025 at 5:21 PM
Hot girls always say the creepiest stuff like “my teeth are lonely “