His&Hearses
@hisandhearses.bsky.social
filled with cynicism and pickles
i thiiiiiink tiny desk concerts can afford a bigger desk by now
December 21, 2025 at 6:17 PM
i thiiiiiink tiny desk concerts can afford a bigger desk by now
she who sits at the foot of the roast beef man
November 23, 2025 at 3:37 AM
she who sits at the foot of the roast beef man
are you there god? It’s me, ChatGPT.
October 16, 2025 at 5:56 AM
are you there god? It’s me, ChatGPT.
this isnt even a joke I love my boyfriend so much
October 3, 2025 at 4:54 AM
this isnt even a joke I love my boyfriend so much
Asks the flight attendant for a tour of the cockpit just to see the pilot and say
“I can’t land a plane but I can sure land a joke. What is the deal with airplane food?
Anybody? Anybody?”
“I can’t land a plane but I can sure land a joke. What is the deal with airplane food?
Anybody? Anybody?”
September 28, 2025 at 5:32 AM
Asks the flight attendant for a tour of the cockpit just to see the pilot and say
“I can’t land a plane but I can sure land a joke. What is the deal with airplane food?
Anybody? Anybody?”
“I can’t land a plane but I can sure land a joke. What is the deal with airplane food?
Anybody? Anybody?”
Oooooh that’s why they called it Shark Tales
September 28, 2025 at 4:00 AM
Oooooh that’s why they called it Shark Tales
seeing “seedless” on a package of grapes means nothing to me anymore, I’ve been burned too many times
September 27, 2025 at 9:23 PM
seeing “seedless” on a package of grapes means nothing to me anymore, I’ve been burned too many times
what reusing my coffee mug taught me about b2b sales
September 26, 2025 at 1:14 PM
what reusing my coffee mug taught me about b2b sales
my pronouns are she/whore
September 21, 2025 at 5:15 AM
my pronouns are she/whore
the influencer must selfie as Sisyphus must push a rock
September 14, 2025 at 2:43 AM
the influencer must selfie as Sisyphus must push a rock
the notifications are luring me in like a godamn siren call
September 6, 2025 at 5:05 AM
the notifications are luring me in like a godamn siren call
ihysyp ( i hope you shit your pants )
September 2, 2025 at 12:07 AM
ihysyp ( i hope you shit your pants )
Driving in rush hour is a mandatory group project
September 1, 2025 at 4:46 PM
Driving in rush hour is a mandatory group project
mustard is the new moisturizer
August 31, 2025 at 7:27 AM
mustard is the new moisturizer
Do my tights show off my knee sweat? Asking for a friend
August 31, 2025 at 5:57 AM
Do my tights show off my knee sweat? Asking for a friend
hungover at a baby birthday is a circle in hell forgotten by the late great dante rip
August 31, 2025 at 4:04 AM
hungover at a baby birthday is a circle in hell forgotten by the late great dante rip
be the bit that you want to see in the world
August 31, 2025 at 3:19 AM
be the bit that you want to see in the world
Tampon Taproom: NO BOYS ALLOWED!!!!
August 29, 2025 at 4:33 AM
Tampon Taproom: NO BOYS ALLOWED!!!!
Reposted by His&Hearses
August 28, 2025 at 11:16 PM
late stage capitalism is using a laptop as a heating pad because why rest when you’re sick when you can work
August 16, 2025 at 11:39 PM
late stage capitalism is using a laptop as a heating pad because why rest when you’re sick when you can work
i think salami is a beautiful name for a girl
August 10, 2025 at 3:27 AM
i think salami is a beautiful name for a girl
the lost art of the voicemail message
August 6, 2025 at 5:40 AM
the lost art of the voicemail message
if nicholas hoult is a horse
walton goggins is a kangaroo
walton goggins is a kangaroo
July 26, 2025 at 2:58 AM
if nicholas hoult is a horse
walton goggins is a kangaroo
walton goggins is a kangaroo
help! i’m in so much sandwich debt
i took out a second mortgage for my blt
i took out a second mortgage for my blt
July 20, 2025 at 3:47 AM
help! i’m in so much sandwich debt
i took out a second mortgage for my blt
i took out a second mortgage for my blt