He shit me, and it smelt like a piss.
@hirsuteofhappiness.bsky.social
Supernatural, perhaps.
Bologna, perhaps not.
Bologna, perhaps not.
Best friends
December 17, 2025 at 1:48 PM
Best friends
Frank is burning a Christmas candle and filling the house with the scent of balsam.
December 9, 2025 at 5:12 AM
Frank is burning a Christmas candle and filling the house with the scent of balsam.
I've missed my opportunity to make Jojo Sliwa a thing.
November 5, 2025 at 6:01 AM
I've missed my opportunity to make Jojo Sliwa a thing.
I think the Donald Trump Memorial Ballroom has a nice ring to it.
October 26, 2025 at 10:26 PM
I think the Donald Trump Memorial Ballroom has a nice ring to it.
🎶 DOGS WERE LET OUT BY
Whom? Whom, whom-whom, whom? 🎶
Whom? Whom, whom-whom, whom? 🎶
October 10, 2025 at 9:35 PM
🎶 DOGS WERE LET OUT BY
Whom? Whom, whom-whom, whom? 🎶
Whom? Whom, whom-whom, whom? 🎶
First day back to work after my vacation and I'll be spending all day talking in an English accent (I did not go to England).
September 29, 2025 at 5:35 PM
First day back to work after my vacation and I'll be spending all day talking in an English accent (I did not go to England).
Canceled my Hulu. Canceling Jimmy Kimmel is a thinly veiled capitulation to Trump and his goon squad. Fuck that and fuck them.
September 18, 2025 at 4:38 PM
Canceled my Hulu. Canceling Jimmy Kimmel is a thinly veiled capitulation to Trump and his goon squad. Fuck that and fuck them.
Violence is never the solution except for all the times that it is.
September 14, 2025 at 2:44 AM
Violence is never the solution except for all the times that it is.
I love that for him.
September 10, 2025 at 11:48 PM
I love that for him.
🎶I thump the tub
But I tub-thump again
You're never gonna thump my tub
I thump the tub
But I tub-thump again
You're never gonna thump my tub🎶
—"Tubthumping", Thumpatuba
But I tub-thump again
You're never gonna thump my tub
I thump the tub
But I tub-thump again
You're never gonna thump my tub🎶
—"Tubthumping", Thumpatuba
August 31, 2025 at 1:43 PM
🎶I thump the tub
But I tub-thump again
You're never gonna thump my tub
I thump the tub
But I tub-thump again
You're never gonna thump my tub🎶
—"Tubthumping", Thumpatuba
But I tub-thump again
You're never gonna thump my tub
I thump the tub
But I tub-thump again
You're never gonna thump my tub🎶
—"Tubthumping", Thumpatuba
I love that the side that continually tells musicians and athletes to shut up and entertain us is the same party that gets all of their data from podcasters.
August 28, 2025 at 4:42 AM
I love that the side that continually tells musicians and athletes to shut up and entertain us is the same party that gets all of their data from podcasters.
New drag king name: Tim LaHaaaaaaaaaye
August 27, 2025 at 3:46 AM
New drag king name: Tim LaHaaaaaaaaaye
The fact that Donald's last name is Duck but his uncle Scrooge's last name is McDuck leads me to believe some family members changed their last name to hide their Scottish heritage. Probably from Walt.
August 5, 2025 at 8:51 PM
The fact that Donald's last name is Duck but his uncle Scrooge's last name is McDuck leads me to believe some family members changed their last name to hide their Scottish heritage. Probably from Walt.
Doctor: "Your back hurts because of the way you sit at work."
Me: "Mmm, I don't think that's the case."
The way I sit at work:
Me: "Mmm, I don't think that's the case."
The way I sit at work:
August 1, 2025 at 4:03 AM
Doctor: "Your back hurts because of the way you sit at work."
Me: "Mmm, I don't think that's the case."
The way I sit at work:
Me: "Mmm, I don't think that's the case."
The way I sit at work:
Gambler 1: "I call. Read 'em and weep, fellas! Royal Flush!"
Gambler 2: "—not so fast!" [reveals his hand to show a plane ticket, itinerary, hotel voucher, shuttle confirmation and zip-lining brochure]
Gambler 1: "Dag nabbit!" [🎶 Darling, hold my ha-and!🎶] "Nothing beats a Jet2 holiday!"
Gambler 2: "—not so fast!" [reveals his hand to show a plane ticket, itinerary, hotel voucher, shuttle confirmation and zip-lining brochure]
Gambler 1: "Dag nabbit!" [🎶 Darling, hold my ha-and!🎶] "Nothing beats a Jet2 holiday!"
July 30, 2025 at 11:21 PM
Gambler 1: "I call. Read 'em and weep, fellas! Royal Flush!"
Gambler 2: "—not so fast!" [reveals his hand to show a plane ticket, itinerary, hotel voucher, shuttle confirmation and zip-lining brochure]
Gambler 1: "Dag nabbit!" [🎶 Darling, hold my ha-and!🎶] "Nothing beats a Jet2 holiday!"
Gambler 2: "—not so fast!" [reveals his hand to show a plane ticket, itinerary, hotel voucher, shuttle confirmation and zip-lining brochure]
Gambler 1: "Dag nabbit!" [🎶 Darling, hold my ha-and!🎶] "Nothing beats a Jet2 holiday!"
If you can't handle me at my obtuse, you don't deserve me at my acutey-patootie.
July 20, 2025 at 12:48 PM
If you can't handle me at my obtuse, you don't deserve me at my acutey-patootie.
CEO's wife: "So, what do you have to say for yourself?"
CEO: "I never meant to cause you trouble. I never meant to do you wro—"
CEO's wife: "Are you fucking kidding me right now?!?"
CEO: "I never meant to cause you trouble. I never meant to do you wro—"
CEO's wife: "Are you fucking kidding me right now?!?"
July 18, 2025 at 1:35 PM
CEO's wife: "So, what do you have to say for yourself?"
CEO: "I never meant to cause you trouble. I never meant to do you wro—"
CEO's wife: "Are you fucking kidding me right now?!?"
CEO: "I never meant to cause you trouble. I never meant to do you wro—"
CEO's wife: "Are you fucking kidding me right now?!?"
I'm looking forward to Katy Perry collaborating with Diddy any minute now.
July 3, 2025 at 12:24 AM
I'm looking forward to Katy Perry collaborating with Diddy any minute now.
Me walking back toward Omelas:
June 28, 2025 at 1:34 PM
Me walking back toward Omelas:
Patron: "Is this Janis Joplin?"
Owner: "It's a Janis Joplin song, but that's not her singing."
Patron: "Who is it?"
Owner: "That's K.D. Lang."
It was Melissa Etheridge.
Owner: "It's a Janis Joplin song, but that's not her singing."
Patron: "Who is it?"
Owner: "That's K.D. Lang."
It was Melissa Etheridge.
June 28, 2025 at 1:20 PM
Patron: "Is this Janis Joplin?"
Owner: "It's a Janis Joplin song, but that's not her singing."
Patron: "Who is it?"
Owner: "That's K.D. Lang."
It was Melissa Etheridge.
Owner: "It's a Janis Joplin song, but that's not her singing."
Patron: "Who is it?"
Owner: "That's K.D. Lang."
It was Melissa Etheridge.
Cannot believe they're going with the title Freakier Friday instead of the obviously much better Freaky Saturday!
June 18, 2025 at 2:01 AM
Cannot believe they're going with the title Freakier Friday instead of the obviously much better Freaky Saturday!
Trump's face at the parade is giving Too Much Birthday vibes.
June 16, 2025 at 2:40 AM
Trump's face at the parade is giving Too Much Birthday vibes.
...I hope the Snapple lady is doing ok.
[Does not Google to find out]
[Does not Google to find out]
June 9, 2025 at 8:41 PM
...I hope the Snapple lady is doing ok.
[Does not Google to find out]
[Does not Google to find out]
Frank: "That's why Alexander Hamilton could never run for president."
Me: "But he did run for president."
Frank: "He did? When?"
Me: "Around the middle of act 2."
Me: "But he did run for president."
Frank: "He did? When?"
Me: "Around the middle of act 2."
May 21, 2025 at 2:58 AM
Frank: "That's why Alexander Hamilton could never run for president."
Me: "But he did run for president."
Frank: "He did? When?"
Me: "Around the middle of act 2."
Me: "But he did run for president."
Frank: "He did? When?"
Me: "Around the middle of act 2."