Alex Cox
@hipattack.bsky.social
Writer, supposedly. Dad, more commonly. Streamer, once in a blue moon.
It has taken me until now to get it on the wall.
August 7, 2025 at 7:58 PM
It has taken me until now to get it on the wall.
Also can't ignore Kotozakura, currently the only second rank (Ozeki) rikishi. One, because of his magnificent double boob configuration, and two because I don't like Kotozakura and it's fun to watch him struggling at the moment.
July 16, 2025 at 1:04 PM
Also can't ignore Kotozakura, currently the only second rank (Ozeki) rikishi. One, because of his magnificent double boob configuration, and two because I don't like Kotozakura and it's fun to watch him struggling at the moment.
I have to mention Takayasu, mainly because he's an old hairy fella that really looks like he's had enough of your shit
July 16, 2025 at 1:04 PM
I have to mention Takayasu, mainly because he's an old hairy fella that really looks like he's had enough of your shit
...Abi. Cheeky in a different way, Abi absolutely loves a henka. That's when you sidestep your opponent at the initial charge leaving them flailing to the clay. Quite why nobody has worked out that he's absolutely going to do this is beyond me; it's disrespectful, sure, but it wins bouts (sometimes)
July 16, 2025 at 1:04 PM
...Abi. Cheeky in a different way, Abi absolutely loves a henka. That's when you sidestep your opponent at the initial charge leaving them flailing to the clay. Quite why nobody has worked out that he's absolutely going to do this is beyond me; it's disrespectful, sure, but it wins bouts (sometimes)
Ura. Who doesn't love cheeky chappy Ura, with his hot pink mawashi and plucky spirit? He's basically the Rey Mysterio of Sumo, coming up with creative ways to use his opponents' size against them and generally doing his best for the kids. A babyface through and through. Unlike:
July 16, 2025 at 1:04 PM
Ura. Who doesn't love cheeky chappy Ura, with his hot pink mawashi and plucky spirit? He's basically the Rey Mysterio of Sumo, coming up with creative ways to use his opponents' size against them and generally doing his best for the kids. A babyface through and through. Unlike:
Aonishiki is Ukranian, with a freestyle wrestling background that's been completely bamboozling his opponents. He's 21, which is just unfair, and smaller than many opponents, but he's beginning to tear up the top Makuuchi division. The sky's the limit - Mystic Meg predicts Ozeki rank soon.
July 16, 2025 at 1:04 PM
Aonishiki is Ukranian, with a freestyle wrestling background that's been completely bamboozling his opponents. He's 21, which is just unfair, and smaller than many opponents, but he's beginning to tear up the top Makuuchi division. The sky's the limit - Mystic Meg predicts Ozeki rank soon.
The polar opposite of Asakoryu is Kayo. If you've ever wondered what it would look like if an egg decided to take up Sumo, this guy - short, round, immovable - has you covered.
July 16, 2025 at 1:04 PM
The polar opposite of Asakoryu is Kayo. If you've ever wondered what it would look like if an egg decided to take up Sumo, this guy - short, round, immovable - has you covered.
Of course, Asakoryu is the real highlight in terms of spark plug dudes: this guy, almost gut-free, is an absolute powerhouse despite being small and relatively light in the sumo world. Great to watch.
July 16, 2025 at 1:04 PM
Of course, Asakoryu is the real highlight in terms of spark plug dudes: this guy, almost gut-free, is an absolute powerhouse despite being small and relatively light in the sumo world. Great to watch.
Wakatakakage has the best name and appears to be one large muscle with some equally large muscles glued on top. Shoulders like boulders. Certainly has potential for a run up the ranks, at least he'd better, because he's one of my favourites. Look at the lad. What a whopper.
July 16, 2025 at 1:04 PM
Wakatakakage has the best name and appears to be one large muscle with some equally large muscles glued on top. Shoulders like boulders. Certainly has potential for a run up the ranks, at least he'd better, because he's one of my favourites. Look at the lad. What a whopper.
Hoshoryu, the other Yokozuna, has been in post for a few months. Full of fun outside the Dohyo and able to kill a man with his glare inside it, he's more technical than Onosato - and, judging by the gold stars he keeps handing out to lesser opponents that beat him, still finding his feet at top rank
July 16, 2025 at 1:04 PM
Hoshoryu, the other Yokozuna, has been in post for a few months. Full of fun outside the Dohyo and able to kill a man with his glare inside it, he's more technical than Onosato - and, judging by the gold stars he keeps handing out to lesser opponents that beat him, still finding his feet at top rank
First, Onosato. The massive newly-crowned Yokozuna is basically a mix between a shaved bear and a lovely baby. Can't move backwards. When he's moving forwards he will smash you out of the ring with pure power. Once the skill of backwards movement has been mastered, all will be dust.
July 16, 2025 at 1:04 PM
First, Onosato. The massive newly-crowned Yokozuna is basically a mix between a shaved bear and a lovely baby. Can't move backwards. When he's moving forwards he will smash you out of the ring with pure power. Once the skill of backwards movement has been mastered, all will be dust.
Without downloading new pictures, where are you mentally?
March 24, 2025 at 5:32 PM
Without downloading new pictures, where are you mentally?
I think that would make for a surprisingly plausible explanation for everything. Except for Gary's death, which must remain canon because it was THE BEST
February 21, 2025 at 11:39 PM
I think that would make for a surprisingly plausible explanation for everything. Except for Gary's death, which must remain canon because it was THE BEST
Dark day for the old thinker, lads. Nothing to worry about, there's a path ahead and all that, but work is suffering mightily and I feel like I can't just not today. EW GROSS PERSONAL MICROBLOGGING shut up
January 27, 2025 at 1:47 PM
Dark day for the old thinker, lads. Nothing to worry about, there's a path ahead and all that, but work is suffering mightily and I feel like I can't just not today. EW GROSS PERSONAL MICROBLOGGING shut up
Ok here's the picture.
January 13, 2025 at 8:55 AM
Ok here's the picture.
An important part of preparing any meal with Alphabites is seeing if my kids notice
November 24, 2024 at 12:29 PM
An important part of preparing any meal with Alphabites is seeing if my kids notice
People of Bluesky. Let's get to know each other better. What is your all-time favorite TV show?
Quote share your answer in gif form.
Quote share your answer in gif form.
November 24, 2024 at 12:34 AM
People of Bluesky. Let's get to know each other better. What is your all-time favorite TV show?
Quote share your answer in gif form.
Quote share your answer in gif form.
If any dads are wondering how to push an already bleak run to Saturday morning dance class completely over the abyss
November 23, 2024 at 9:21 AM
If any dads are wondering how to push an already bleak run to Saturday morning dance class completely over the abyss
Once upon a time, Paul Daniels and I had beef.
November 20, 2024 at 10:55 AM
Once upon a time, Paul Daniels and I had beef.
Do giving blood, everyone. They have treats and squash
November 18, 2024 at 1:52 PM
Do giving blood, everyone. They have treats and squash
I presume Adam Cole: is looking for that elusive guest spot on the Simpsons / ran out of fake tan and just rubbed himself with some turmeric / really needs his liver looking at
November 14, 2024 at 10:01 AM
I presume Adam Cole: is looking for that elusive guest spot on the Simpsons / ran out of fake tan and just rubbed himself with some turmeric / really needs his liver looking at
"Well boys, the hospital has ordered a fountain. Any ideas?"
"Wrinkly fuckin' ballbags mate."
"Tourette's Steve, you son of a gun, you've done it again"
"Wrinkly fuckin' ballbags mate."
"Tourette's Steve, you son of a gun, you've done it again"
November 12, 2024 at 1:49 PM
"Well boys, the hospital has ordered a fountain. Any ideas?"
"Wrinkly fuckin' ballbags mate."
"Tourette's Steve, you son of a gun, you've done it again"
"Wrinkly fuckin' ballbags mate."
"Tourette's Steve, you son of a gun, you've done it again"
What is that big glowing thing and what does it want
November 11, 2024 at 3:57 PM
What is that big glowing thing and what does it want