fan with envy
@hildapedia.bsky.social
Pinned
im in such a bad mood and im so sad all the time and i hate my life so fucking much and nothing is fun anymore and i just want to fucking die man
January 4, 2026 at 9:25 PM
im in such a bad mood and im so sad all the time and i hate my life so fucking much and nothing is fun anymore and i just want to fucking die man
when i remember that i wont turn 27
a close up of a brown dog 's face with its eyes closed .
ALT: a close up of a brown dog 's face with its eyes closed .
media.tenor.com
December 24, 2025 at 11:50 PM
when i remember that i wont turn 27
whatever i hope i never wake up again merry christmas or whatever
December 24, 2025 at 11:19 PM
whatever i hope i never wake up again merry christmas or whatever
i should genuinel kill myself i ruin everything i touch i should never get anything that makes me happy becasze i will break it
December 24, 2025 at 11:15 PM
i should genuinel kill myself i ruin everything i touch i should never get anything that makes me happy becasze i will break it
checking in on tjis tl, are we still alive
December 23, 2025 at 3:42 PM
checking in on tjis tl, are we still alive
genuinely tweaking out over my pedicurist getting me a christmas present like genuinely im so moved that someone random likes me enough to do that. i always feel like i can never open up to strangers because of my insane walls so for someone to like me regardless :(( enough to do this. im emo
December 15, 2025 at 9:19 PM
genuinely tweaking out over my pedicurist getting me a christmas present like genuinely im so moved that someone random likes me enough to do that. i always feel like i can never open up to strangers because of my insane walls so for someone to like me regardless :(( enough to do this. im emo
people gotta stop headcanoning shit onto me LMAO it gets to a point. i cannot be experiencing the mischaracterization of fandom as a real person (this isnt abt my vt*ber persona this is about me like me the person me the oomf you all know)
December 14, 2025 at 4:26 PM
people gotta stop headcanoning shit onto me LMAO it gets to a point. i cannot be experiencing the mischaracterization of fandom as a real person (this isnt abt my vt*ber persona this is about me like me the person me the oomf you all know)
crying over feeling lonely okok nini
December 13, 2025 at 12:46 AM
crying over feeling lonely okok nini
I MIGHTVE JUST SAVED MY ASS OH I AM SO LUCKY
December 4, 2025 at 11:47 PM
I MIGHTVE JUST SAVED MY ASS OH I AM SO LUCKY
every time i start to feel bad that im spendinh so much money on vtubing life throws an insane curveball on me and makes me want to kill myswlf so hard that im like i might aswell blow all my money on this cos ill be gone by the time the consequences catch up to me
December 4, 2025 at 9:08 PM
every time i start to feel bad that im spendinh so much money on vtubing life throws an insane curveball on me and makes me want to kill myswlf so hard that im like i might aswell blow all my money on this cos ill be gone by the time the consequences catch up to me
today wasnt a good stream day
December 2, 2025 at 7:15 PM
today wasnt a good stream day
pls dont say damn if i have a burnout meltdown soon ok
November 27, 2025 at 3:11 PM
pls dont say damn if i have a burnout meltdown soon ok
yeah brother unless my preexisting friends wanna pick up streaming im keeping this shit a solo gig only. i wont be opposed to friendships but its transactional first and foremost. if we break out of that then chill but omfg
November 25, 2025 at 2:39 PM
yeah brother unless my preexisting friends wanna pick up streaming im keeping this shit a solo gig only. i wont be opposed to friendships but its transactional first and foremost. if we break out of that then chill but omfg
what an awful month
November 10, 2025 at 7:44 AM
what an awful month
i have to talk to my therapist that happiness=death so for the past year i havent even uttered that word until today and see where that landed me
November 9, 2025 at 11:30 PM
i have to talk to my therapist that happiness=death so for the past year i havent even uttered that word until today and see where that landed me
instead of kms in december i will reward myself by adding an arm toggle to my model auftrag
November 8, 2025 at 8:43 PM
instead of kms in december i will reward myself by adding an arm toggle to my model auftrag
im so miserably sad all the time
November 5, 2025 at 3:52 PM
im so miserably sad all the time
im on birth control now.
no way its pms time again i just got done with the last one not too long ago
November 4, 2025 at 2:44 PM
im on birth control now.
GRIEF IS A FUCKING NIGHTMARE
November 2, 2025 at 5:34 PM
GRIEF IS A FUCKING NIGHTMARE
i think i let my depression fuck up this apartment and now i dont know where to start cleaning. or how. man im overwhelmed
November 2, 2025 at 4:46 PM
i think i let my depression fuck up this apartment and now i dont know where to start cleaning. or how. man im overwhelmed
no way its pms time again i just got done with the last one not too long ago
November 2, 2025 at 12:16 AM
no way its pms time again i just got done with the last one not too long ago
how do i scream from the rooftops that im doing bad without being an attention seeker. like as a psa. fyi. caution sign. slippery floor
October 29, 2025 at 3:07 PM
how do i scream from the rooftops that im doing bad without being an attention seeker. like as a psa. fyi. caution sign. slippery floor