@hfjballard.bsky.social
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,mamź,,,,zziiiiìi0poo x @%%//*[[((*(****,,,,;,,,
.uùujjj🤨😐🤗🤨,xxx x ßcx x̌Sq q1c7x7x77x
Njjj? Mxmzmmz
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,mamź,,,,zziiiiìi0poo x @%%//*[[((*(****,,,,;,,,
.uùujjj🤨😐🤗🤨,xxx x ßcx x̌Sq q1c7x7x77x
October 24, 2025 at 4:05 PM
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Njjj? Mxmzmmz
, x
,, 1
,mamź,,,,zziiiiìi0poo x @%%//*[[((*(****,,,,;,,,
.uùujjj🤨😐🤗🤨,xxx x ßcx x̌Sq q1c7x7x77x
Njjj? Mxmzmmz
, x
,, 1
,mamź,,,,zziiiiìi0poo x @%%//*[[((*(****,,,,;,,,
.uùujjj🤨😐🤗🤨,xxx x ßcx x̌Sq q1c7x7x77x
My toddler: *Hits me with a flashlight.
Me: Ow! We don't hit people with flashlights....(*realizing the loopholes in that statement*)...or anything else.
My toddler: Cars?
Me: What the...?! NO WE DON'T HIT PEOPLE WITH CARS EITHER.
Me: Ow! We don't hit people with flashlights....(*realizing the loopholes in that statement*)...or anything else.
My toddler: Cars?
Me: What the...?! NO WE DON'T HIT PEOPLE WITH CARS EITHER.
September 12, 2025 at 7:39 PM
My toddler: *Hits me with a flashlight.
Me: Ow! We don't hit people with flashlights....(*realizing the loopholes in that statement*)...or anything else.
My toddler: Cars?
Me: What the...?! NO WE DON'T HIT PEOPLE WITH CARS EITHER.
Me: Ow! We don't hit people with flashlights....(*realizing the loopholes in that statement*)...or anything else.
My toddler: Cars?
Me: What the...?! NO WE DON'T HIT PEOPLE WITH CARS EITHER.
Me (to my toddler): Hey, bud. Do you want to help me clean the bathroom?
My toddler: No. Playing.
My wife: He uses that excuse a lot
My toddler: No. Playing.
My wife: He uses that excuse a lot
August 29, 2025 at 4:49 AM
Me (to my toddler): Hey, bud. Do you want to help me clean the bathroom?
My toddler: No. Playing.
My wife: He uses that excuse a lot
My toddler: No. Playing.
My wife: He uses that excuse a lot
The crazy thing about public discourse these days is that, more often than not, both people are right for what they're arguing. They just keep using the same words to mean two completely different things and never stop to understand the other's definition.
August 28, 2025 at 5:41 PM
The crazy thing about public discourse these days is that, more often than not, both people are right for what they're arguing. They just keep using the same words to mean two completely different things and never stop to understand the other's definition.
For thousands of years we've taken meaning from accomplishment, but now, with AI poised to out accomplish us, perhaps it's time to start appreciating what it means to be a witness to beauty. A sunset means nothing without someone to see it, and maybe that can be enough.
August 25, 2025 at 5:10 PM
For thousands of years we've taken meaning from accomplishment, but now, with AI poised to out accomplish us, perhaps it's time to start appreciating what it means to be a witness to beauty. A sunset means nothing without someone to see it, and maybe that can be enough.
Daes Dae'mar from the Wheel of Time is the closest analogy I've come across to the way we, as a society, approach dating.
August 20, 2025 at 4:42 AM
Daes Dae'mar from the Wheel of Time is the closest analogy I've come across to the way we, as a society, approach dating.
Here's a little animation I did a while back as an ad for my novel Monster.
August 18, 2025 at 12:49 PM
Here's a little animation I did a while back as an ad for my novel Monster.
It's only once you have a two year old that you realize the book "If You Give a Mouse a Cookie" is a thinly veiled metaphor for parenting a toddler. I must have helped my son through fifty activities today, each one leading into the next and never finishing a one quite entirely.
August 17, 2025 at 6:08 AM
It's only once you have a two year old that you realize the book "If You Give a Mouse a Cookie" is a thinly veiled metaphor for parenting a toddler. I must have helped my son through fifty activities today, each one leading into the next and never finishing a one quite entirely.
"Now one ancient eyebrow lifted like the gavel of a judge as this curator of all knowledge looked from my carefully dirt smeared face to my perfectly ragged shoes. That gavel came down, and for a moment I thought I’d been made."
Here's a quick sketch of a character from my work in progress:
Here's a quick sketch of a character from my work in progress:
August 16, 2025 at 8:06 PM
"Now one ancient eyebrow lifted like the gavel of a judge as this curator of all knowledge looked from my carefully dirt smeared face to my perfectly ragged shoes. That gavel came down, and for a moment I thought I’d been made."
Here's a quick sketch of a character from my work in progress:
Here's a quick sketch of a character from my work in progress:
So, I give my toddler toast.
Him: Spoon.
I get him a spoon.
He attempts to stab his toast as if his spoon is a fork.
Him (after several unsuccessful attempts): Spoon doesn't work.
I got him a fork. 😅
Him: Spoon.
I get him a spoon.
He attempts to stab his toast as if his spoon is a fork.
Him (after several unsuccessful attempts): Spoon doesn't work.
I got him a fork. 😅
August 16, 2025 at 12:17 AM
So, I give my toddler toast.
Him: Spoon.
I get him a spoon.
He attempts to stab his toast as if his spoon is a fork.
Him (after several unsuccessful attempts): Spoon doesn't work.
I got him a fork. 😅
Him: Spoon.
I get him a spoon.
He attempts to stab his toast as if his spoon is a fork.
Him (after several unsuccessful attempts): Spoon doesn't work.
I got him a fork. 😅
My toddler dropped a piece of watermelon on his pants and then insisted on taking them off because they were "wet." He then, picks up his newly removed pants and promptly throws them in the garbage.
Funnily enough I had never even considered that as a viable way to do laundry. Kids are so smart.
Funnily enough I had never even considered that as a viable way to do laundry. Kids are so smart.
August 15, 2025 at 6:45 PM
My toddler dropped a piece of watermelon on his pants and then insisted on taking them off because they were "wet." He then, picks up his newly removed pants and promptly throws them in the garbage.
Funnily enough I had never even considered that as a viable way to do laundry. Kids are so smart.
Funnily enough I had never even considered that as a viable way to do laundry. Kids are so smart.
Whoever said the truth shall make you free has never tried explaining the importance of dinner to a dancing toddler.
I guess sometimes the truth just makes you cry.
I guess sometimes the truth just makes you cry.
August 13, 2025 at 1:36 AM
Whoever said the truth shall make you free has never tried explaining the importance of dinner to a dancing toddler.
I guess sometimes the truth just makes you cry.
I guess sometimes the truth just makes you cry.
Literally every task is ten times more enjoyable with a toddler...and a hundred times more difficult.
August 12, 2025 at 10:49 PM
Literally every task is ten times more enjoyable with a toddler...and a hundred times more difficult.
How is it that babies have a resting face that looks like they're contemplating the mysteries of the universe, while it's impossible for an adult to have anything other than a resting stank face?
August 10, 2025 at 4:16 PM
How is it that babies have a resting face that looks like they're contemplating the mysteries of the universe, while it's impossible for an adult to have anything other than a resting stank face?
The hierarchy of essay writing is: Clarity, specificity, variety, and humor. And yes, I will defend each of those inclusions and their placement in order.
August 8, 2025 at 12:20 AM
The hierarchy of essay writing is: Clarity, specificity, variety, and humor. And yes, I will defend each of those inclusions and their placement in order.
I think my toddler just came to tattle for the first time in his life. He ran in while I was working, quite distressed, to tell me that my wife had turned the lights on in the living room.
August 6, 2025 at 4:34 PM
I think my toddler just came to tattle for the first time in his life. He ran in while I was working, quite distressed, to tell me that my wife had turned the lights on in the living room.
Goodreads seems to think that 1984, Animal Farm, and Pride and Prejudice are like The Little Prince. Now I'm questioning whether anyone who works there has ever read a book.
August 6, 2025 at 4:00 PM
Goodreads seems to think that 1984, Animal Farm, and Pride and Prejudice are like The Little Prince. Now I'm questioning whether anyone who works there has ever read a book.
My toddler can say the word "door" as if he's telling an entire story. I may or may not be having an existential crisis as I wonder whether he's a better wordsmith than me.
August 6, 2025 at 5:41 AM
My toddler can say the word "door" as if he's telling an entire story. I may or may not be having an existential crisis as I wonder whether he's a better wordsmith than me.
My toddler spreads a little chocolate pudding on his toast, then picks it up with the widest eyes and the biggest "Wow!" as if he just invented sliced bread.
This is the wonder that I need in my life.
This is the wonder that I need in my life.
August 5, 2025 at 11:12 PM
My toddler spreads a little chocolate pudding on his toast, then picks it up with the widest eyes and the biggest "Wow!" as if he just invented sliced bread.
This is the wonder that I need in my life.
This is the wonder that I need in my life.
Based on a true story.
August 5, 2025 at 7:33 PM
Based on a true story.
I really don't know how he does this, but I will give my toddler a tablespoon of water and he still gets soaked.
August 5, 2025 at 7:27 PM
I really don't know how he does this, but I will give my toddler a tablespoon of water and he still gets soaked.
This is what it's like to have a toddler.
August 5, 2025 at 7:19 PM
This is what it's like to have a toddler.
I don't write horror much, but I do enjoy writing it. As a genre it's the closest thing to writing poetry for me.
August 5, 2025 at 5:23 AM
I don't write horror much, but I do enjoy writing it. As a genre it's the closest thing to writing poetry for me.
Why do I still have to set dark theme instead of it being the default? Is this like the metric system where we all know it's better but we're too embarrassed that we already bought two sets of the same tools in slightly different sizing to admit it now?
August 3, 2025 at 5:57 AM
Why do I still have to set dark theme instead of it being the default? Is this like the metric system where we all know it's better but we're too embarrassed that we already bought two sets of the same tools in slightly different sizing to admit it now?
I have great respect for philosophers because of all the disciplines it seems they are the only ones willing to actually and truly consider that they might be wrong about everything. Let's face it, we're all wrong about everything, but they're the only ones willing to really think about that fact.
August 2, 2025 at 6:15 AM
I have great respect for philosophers because of all the disciplines it seems they are the only ones willing to actually and truly consider that they might be wrong about everything. Let's face it, we're all wrong about everything, but they're the only ones willing to really think about that fact.