Pictured: A boy with his toy.

Whether or not you've seen Urban Cowboy, let the dulcet twangy tones of the Unkind Rewind hit ya like a cooked steak to the back of the head.
Josh, I and special guest Lori Ferraro break it all down for ya here:

This just popped up on my Discover Weekly. I'm not on hold enough that I need this shoved down my throat? Google if you want. I'll let you hear this fucker yourself.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Boyfriends of the world:
Drink some water, babe.

Girlfriends of the world:
I'm fine.

why it's long past the time you left twitter...

Favorite non-overhyped dinosaur growing up?
Mine were the Ankylosaurus and the Allosaurus.
Absolute studs.

Get yourself a deep dish pizza and a bypass, same time - same place. God bless, Chicago.

I don't know how many times I gotta tell you guys (and girls) but when it comes to your penile implants, you GOT to go with Titan.