Todd Van Allen
@heyitstva.bsky.social
Comedian, Host of @OSHOPod and @WriteEmUpShow, a Third Thing.
I declare a thumb war.
December 1, 2025 at 5:39 PM
I declare a thumb war.
Tomorrow at 7pm @writeemupshow.bsky.social at Comedy Bar #Toronto happens!
Five comedians tell jokes.
While they perform my writers write roast jokes about everything the comedian does.
I read out the roasts. Verbatim.
The funnest show is back in TO!
TICKETS: comedybar.ca/shows/write-...
Five comedians tell jokes.
While they perform my writers write roast jokes about everything the comedian does.
I read out the roasts. Verbatim.
The funnest show is back in TO!
TICKETS: comedybar.ca/shows/write-...
November 28, 2025 at 3:34 PM
Tomorrow at 7pm @writeemupshow.bsky.social at Comedy Bar #Toronto happens!
Five comedians tell jokes.
While they perform my writers write roast jokes about everything the comedian does.
I read out the roasts. Verbatim.
The funnest show is back in TO!
TICKETS: comedybar.ca/shows/write-...
Five comedians tell jokes.
While they perform my writers write roast jokes about everything the comedian does.
I read out the roasts. Verbatim.
The funnest show is back in TO!
TICKETS: comedybar.ca/shows/write-...
Hey, #toronto!
I'm bringing my @writeemupshow.bsky.social to you Sat Nov 29 at Comedy Bar! Comics perform while writers write roast jokes about everything they do. I read them out verbatim.
It's the funnest show in TO!
TICKETS: comedybar.ca/shows/write-...
I'm bringing my @writeemupshow.bsky.social to you Sat Nov 29 at Comedy Bar! Comics perform while writers write roast jokes about everything they do. I read them out verbatim.
It's the funnest show in TO!
TICKETS: comedybar.ca/shows/write-...
November 17, 2025 at 7:32 PM
Hey, #toronto!
I'm bringing my @writeemupshow.bsky.social to you Sat Nov 29 at Comedy Bar! Comics perform while writers write roast jokes about everything they do. I read them out verbatim.
It's the funnest show in TO!
TICKETS: comedybar.ca/shows/write-...
I'm bringing my @writeemupshow.bsky.social to you Sat Nov 29 at Comedy Bar! Comics perform while writers write roast jokes about everything they do. I read them out verbatim.
It's the funnest show in TO!
TICKETS: comedybar.ca/shows/write-...
November 13, 2025 at 7:41 PM
Canadian soccer, obvi.
November 10, 2025 at 12:05 AM
Canadian soccer, obvi.
Stop and think for one moment as to what this means.
Merry Christmas everyone.
Merry Christmas everyone.
November 8, 2025 at 5:50 PM
Stop and think for one moment as to what this means.
Merry Christmas everyone.
Merry Christmas everyone.
Thanks to MLB Canada for getting this little baby to me today instead of mid-November.
Tonight, we got this. #bluejays #worldseries
Tonight, we got this. #bluejays #worldseries
November 1, 2025 at 9:36 PM
Thanks to MLB Canada for getting this little baby to me today instead of mid-November.
Tonight, we got this. #bluejays #worldseries
Tonight, we got this. #bluejays #worldseries
A night of two halves.
November 1, 2025 at 12:36 AM
A night of two halves.
In for a teeth cleaning and this greeted me. Dentistry is a racket.
October 30, 2025 at 2:14 PM
In for a teeth cleaning and this greeted me. Dentistry is a racket.
Is this the first time in World Series history that both the pitcher and batter have the names of great actors?
October 30, 2025 at 3:14 AM
Is this the first time in World Series history that both the pitcher and batter have the names of great actors?
If ever you feel completely unmotivated, think of this little guy.
He made it halfway up a mountain.
He’s still really slow and garbage at it, but still.
He made it halfway up a mountain.
He’s still really slow and garbage at it, but still.
October 4, 2025 at 2:09 PM
If ever you feel completely unmotivated, think of this little guy.
He made it halfway up a mountain.
He’s still really slow and garbage at it, but still.
He made it halfway up a mountain.
He’s still really slow and garbage at it, but still.
One lonely tree on the hiking path.
One tree away from all the other trees.
Probably because he was a dick to the other trees.
What an asshole tree.
One tree away from all the other trees.
Probably because he was a dick to the other trees.
What an asshole tree.
October 4, 2025 at 2:04 PM
One lonely tree on the hiking path.
One tree away from all the other trees.
Probably because he was a dick to the other trees.
What an asshole tree.
One tree away from all the other trees.
Probably because he was a dick to the other trees.
What an asshole tree.
I’m just going to say it.
Engravers in Italy are goddamned lazy.
Engravers in Italy are goddamned lazy.
October 2, 2025 at 10:04 AM
I’m just going to say it.
Engravers in Italy are goddamned lazy.
Engravers in Italy are goddamned lazy.
Hey @yellowdic let’s do this!
September 24, 2025 at 7:04 PM
Hey @yellowdic let’s do this!
September 19, 2025 at 1:39 PM
It's @bandcamp.com Friday! Where Bandcamp waives their fee and gives 100% of the revenue from music and comedy purchases to the artist. Find an artist you love and buy their work TODAY!
Don't have my albums yet? Here you go.
toddvanallen.bandcamp.com
Don't have my albums yet? Here you go.
toddvanallen.bandcamp.com
September 5, 2025 at 5:08 PM
It's @bandcamp.com Friday! Where Bandcamp waives their fee and gives 100% of the revenue from music and comedy purchases to the artist. Find an artist you love and buy their work TODAY!
Don't have my albums yet? Here you go.
toddvanallen.bandcamp.com
Don't have my albums yet? Here you go.
toddvanallen.bandcamp.com
Soon will be the time of my countenance.
August 19, 2025 at 7:56 PM
Soon will be the time of my countenance.
Dear Customer Support Department at ChuckIt Indestructible Dog Toys,
I wish to provide an update on our situation.
I wish to provide an update on our situation.
August 19, 2025 at 5:24 PM
Dear Customer Support Department at ChuckIt Indestructible Dog Toys,
I wish to provide an update on our situation.
I wish to provide an update on our situation.
Dear Customer Support Department at ChuckIt Indestructible Dog Toys,
Ummm…
Ummm…
August 11, 2025 at 6:20 PM
Dear Customer Support Department at ChuckIt Indestructible Dog Toys,
Ummm…
Ummm…
Aw, man. Donald Trump just got my snack cancelled.
August 10, 2025 at 6:33 PM
Aw, man. Donald Trump just got my snack cancelled.
Hey, Ottawa and/or The Internet!
I have some shows coming up you should know about.
This Friday, I'll be on KOComedy on The Internet if you're too far away to come out to shows! kocomedy.com
Mon Aug 11 I'm at Comedy at the Oak in Kanata! www.facebook.com/events/77495...
I have some shows coming up you should know about.
This Friday, I'll be on KOComedy on The Internet if you're too far away to come out to shows! kocomedy.com
Mon Aug 11 I'm at Comedy at the Oak in Kanata! www.facebook.com/events/77495...
August 6, 2025 at 7:44 PM
Hey, Ottawa and/or The Internet!
I have some shows coming up you should know about.
This Friday, I'll be on KOComedy on The Internet if you're too far away to come out to shows! kocomedy.com
Mon Aug 11 I'm at Comedy at the Oak in Kanata! www.facebook.com/events/77495...
I have some shows coming up you should know about.
This Friday, I'll be on KOComedy on The Internet if you're too far away to come out to shows! kocomedy.com
Mon Aug 11 I'm at Comedy at the Oak in Kanata! www.facebook.com/events/77495...
It's another @bandcamp.com Friday where Bandcamp removes all service charges and gives all purchase revenue to the artist.
Go find a recording artist whose stuff you've been meaning to buy, and buy it!
If you don't have my albums yet, well, here they are:
toddvanallen.bandcamp.com
Go find a recording artist whose stuff you've been meaning to buy, and buy it!
If you don't have my albums yet, well, here they are:
toddvanallen.bandcamp.com
August 1, 2025 at 6:13 PM
It's another @bandcamp.com Friday where Bandcamp removes all service charges and gives all purchase revenue to the artist.
Go find a recording artist whose stuff you've been meaning to buy, and buy it!
If you don't have my albums yet, well, here they are:
toddvanallen.bandcamp.com
Go find a recording artist whose stuff you've been meaning to buy, and buy it!
If you don't have my albums yet, well, here they are:
toddvanallen.bandcamp.com
In fact I bought these in honour of Jimmy’s birthday and @nevernotfunny.com .
July 29, 2025 at 1:00 AM
In fact I bought these in honour of Jimmy’s birthday and @nevernotfunny.com .
When you find yourself wondering “Am I committing to the bit enough?” think about this guy.
July 12, 2025 at 3:32 PM
When you find yourself wondering “Am I committing to the bit enough?” think about this guy.
