Christ, people are so young now. I had a surprising wealth of choices but this is the one that happened to me in the nick of time.

Could be worse.

Well. When you put it like that…

The phrase is actually throwing the baby out with the bathwater, and in this case the baby’s already dead. So yeah. Throw it all out. Fight fire with fire. Don’t bring a sternly worded letter to a gunfight.

Asshole. Asshole is the word we’re looking for.

I’m kind of assuming my same-sex marriage will be annulled within the year, so…

Is there a way to like this 263.55 times?

For which, oddly, he was not renditioned to a slave labor camp in El Salvador.

And your wallet in the morning. It was kinda worth it though.

Well. If you say so.

Congratulations, that’s the first time I laughed out loud on this site.

Can’t I just go to bed early sometimes?

Portland’s downtown blocks give it such a good urban scale. (Also, see North Capitol Hill in Seattle, one of my old neighborhoods. Street widths there are less than half the average width of streets in my Oakland neighborhood. Guess what they don’t have? Speeding cars and sideshows.)