We'd all make great character studies for the kind of show where everyone is flawed and dislikable

Can't be bothered to notice

I feel like I could try to do a thing where I try to use all the clothes in my closet over a month or something, or maybe plan outfits for the upcoming week. But I have to do it all myself.
And self motivation is hard.

I suspect nobody will read this. I've been struggling to write down my thoughts like my therapist said I should and I think this might be a better medium for me to use (typing is faster and social media feels a bit less lonely). New Drew Gooden video made me think. Should watch

And for my final point, the loneliness epidemic. Friends and community are things to live for, but I've lost much of that and that sucks. But, as is obvious for everyone, rebuilding one is a rancid business in this day and age. I struggle to produce the energy to try. I struggle to get out of bed.

At least I am attempting to make the happy levels increase. I should get out more because then I think less. But I have no tolerance for social interaction, and literally usually just crash for 24 hours after, which just sucks. Maybe with enough practice it can give me something else to live for.

but instead I just have to gamble. I hate gambling. I got one chance at this shit. And I could very easily loose and die unhappy. Killing oneself at least feels like a chance to take the chances into your own hands. I have an 85% chance to make it to 60. Do I want to play that game?

I yearn for the days where you could walk into a store and ask for a job and be paid a reasonable wage. I was designed for that world. Not a world where my brain has to be constantly running the numbers. I think I have enough dedication and spitfire to prove myself, to learn what I have to-

Makes it quite easy to have panic attacks when it comes to exams, especially finals. Because my worth relies solely on my ability to succeed and a bad exam means a bad grade means a possible failure means a change on my resume means a worse chance to get a job.

Wealth does determine, to some degree, your ability to be happy, because to be secure and safe means something (as secure as you can these days). I feel most of my individual value in myself is attached to my ability to achieve wealth/a job/a degree.

I feel like people around my age have such limited chances to succeed (because of the political environment), and I've been taking the "correct" path but it completely destroys me mentally. Not that I feel like I can or will switch that path because it's the best chance to not being destitute.

Update: prospects looking good

All I know how to do is post long furby or talk about puzzles. Other than that I am empty.

But seriously what do you do on Bluesky? Like what is interesting enough to post on here?