idk enough ppl that gogh out but i wanna host it publicly every so often bc it's like kinda nice

i don't want to be an ossan......not yet......

but also growing up i learned a chunk of what i know from nico nico douga so i think the ghost of a 40+ y/o otaku invades my body because of that

i want to say "i don't care if this makes me look insane" but i'd be lying. but also i'm at my lowest. i've seen others say worse and still have a thriving career grifting on youtube and instagram so i should be fine i guess.

i told myself if i didn't get it together by the end of the year i'd kill myself and it's almost june. i've done nothing. lmao. if i could magically not suck at art and make a portfolio full of work i don't hate it would be a miracle but i want to quit. it's hard not to feel that way.

higu ur so cool

fucking embarrassing. like i'm genuinely fucking embarrassed and disappointed. it's literally an insult to everything that school was built on and the alumni that gave it the reputation it has today.

like, i do think the crit was unneeded and a bit cruel since it was this kids first job on an actual show...but also everyone else is being more insane lol

idk genuinely feels like ripping smth out of my chest when ppl say "you don't HAVE to do this :)" in that case then why fucking do it at all in the first place