Thought I'd get cute for lunch and cook a chicken sausage in my new air fryer. The first bite released a spurt of molten hot juice onto my face. I have a blister. On my face. From chicken sausage juice. How's your day going?

Reeeeally glad I never messed around and got addicted to TikTok. Thought about joining once, but ultimately felt like I'd be somebody's aunt stumbling into a slumber party. So yeah. Nah.

I played around with the "What would you look like as a Jedi?" stuff over the last couple of years, but AI just gives me the ick now. I don't need to see my beautiful friends looking poreless, soulless, and like they've never met a carb.

So, what do we do over here? Talk about soup, or...?