I feel like enough time has passed that I can finally come out and say this.

I actually didn't mind when apple added that one U2 album to our iTunes account without telling us. Some of the songs were even potentially enjoyable.

I'm sorry if this changes how you think of me.

I haven’t showered since last year!

Shoutout to the beach boys for the annual reminder that "Christmas comes this time each year"

Probably my favourite Christmas song lyric

she blue on my sky til i skeeted

This is a brand new tweet for you, my loyal followers, because I post regularly, definitely more than you'd expect, and also I'm really witty and charming and handsome, but that's besides the point.

Waking up
To ash and dust
I wipe my brow
And I slap my nuts
This is it, I slapped my nuts

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

taking Adderall to make my bi-monthly skweet

Finally had to get formally diagnosed as ND so they would give me the bluesky code

Tried to play twister and my left wrist was still completely fucked from climbing.
Still won though, because my brother is an inflexible gym lad whos allergic to leg day

Autumn leaves are crunchy, but are they tasty?
Find out in my hour long documentary on channel 4, in association with Big Leaf

hammerspace? um its caled a Pussy

She skweeble on my deeble till im feeble