Hazel Southwell
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hazelsouthwell.bsky.social
Hazel Southwell
@hazelsouthwell.bsky.social
2.6K followers 270 following 4.5K posts
pub manager at The Queen's Head, Stratford (E15 not upon Avon) 🏳️‍🌈 alewife, she/they, gay. used to write about cars https://buttondown.com/behind-the-bar/archive/
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hazelsouthwell.bsky.social
didn't know there was an official Ferrari magazine
the cover of and I'm not being sarcastic here this is what it is called Italian Brainrot The Trading Card Game which is illustrated with a figure whose face is made of spaghetti in a red tracksuit
November 15, 2025 at 2:25 PM
hazelsouthwell.bsky.social
actively upset I won't take a shower so she can have a shower with me (LATER, cat, I have things to do)
The little black and white cat lying in the bath tub staring up at me pleadingly
November 14, 2025 at 1:16 PM
hazelsouthwell.bsky.social
me in bed at like 7:30am this morning: I wonder where the baby is
under the duvet:
the little black and white cat looking particularly mustelid having wormed her way under the duvet and discovered the ideal place to burrow: between my pyjama clad lega
November 6, 2025 at 10:07 PM
hazelsouthwell.bsky.social
the baby has taken to "washing" the big man after he spent months teaching her to wash herself and he is very patient about the whole fiasco
October 29, 2025 at 6:03 PM
hazelsouthwell.bsky.social
I don't even know what they're doing now
the big man tabby cat staring at, questioning, the little girl black and white cat who is sitting on god only knows what in a half-open moving box but has clearly decided this is a great place for a nap
October 29, 2025 at 6:00 PM
hazelsouthwell.bsky.social
realised earlier today I was holding this novelty spider toy's hand for a little emotional support in a trying time, if you're wondering how it's going
my hand holding the front leg of a very unrealistic orange and brown "scary" spider Halloween ornament
October 27, 2025 at 7:46 PM
hazelsouthwell.bsky.social
see:
England and Newcastle United footballer Anthony Gordon who looks like if you got Nico Rosberg and squished him between two things until he got longer
October 15, 2025 at 3:08 PM
hazelsouthwell.bsky.social
this is as powerful as I hoped
Me in the Dulwich Hamlet Uplands Pleasures shirt which looks like the Joy Division Unknown Pleasures shirt but it's hills not whatever the waves on that are. also I've cut the sleeves off so you can see my sick tattoos etc
October 5, 2025 at 12:30 PM
hazelsouthwell.bsky.social
also the Iron & Wine covers EP, which is perfectly fine except the cover of More Than This that goes off absurdly hard in an ah fuck I'm really feeling an acoustic
the cover to The Internet by Glüme the cover to Salvation by Gorgon City the cover to War & Leisure by Miguel the cover to Kiss Each Other Clean by Iron & Wine
October 5, 2025 at 9:17 AM
hazelsouthwell.bsky.social
new name for the Formula E pits just dropped
a photo of a bus screen advertising the next stop is "chargeable lane"
October 4, 2025 at 1:24 AM
hazelsouthwell.bsky.social
these are from last night but truly the creatures love to snomgol mommi
the little black and white cat curled in the space under my chest if I do a sort of half plank to type on the computer lying on the bed the big tabby cat curled up right against me while I am lying on my back still on computer because he cannot be further away than 0mm
October 2, 2025 at 3:53 PM
hazelsouthwell.bsky.social
really wonderful to see the natural huge pile of shit regrowing in Millwall
the view from South Bermondsey station platform including a vista of informal landfill
September 28, 2025 at 12:10 PM
hazelsouthwell.bsky.social
omw
The very gay Ford Raptor pickup, which has a progressive pride rainbow painted across the front and is sparkly gold on the back
September 23, 2025 at 1:24 PM
hazelsouthwell.bsky.social
fortunately the whole gang of morons is here
me with the little black and white cat under one arm and the big tabby cat under the other. that's right it's the three amigos and our shared braincell
September 16, 2025 at 10:18 PM
hazelsouthwell.bsky.social
it's the baby
me cuddling the little black and white cat in bed
September 16, 2025 at 2:38 PM
hazelsouthwell.bsky.social
apparently 3 years ago today IndyCat was showing off her title as "worlds largest inland seal"
IndyCat, a huge mostly white cat with a stripey tail, lying on the floor showing off the fact she was shaped for Antarctic waters not I don't know, being a cat
September 13, 2025 at 12:22 PM
hazelsouthwell.bsky.social
the baby is very excited to find a bunch of lanyards
The little black and white cat savaging the lanyard on I guess my old F1 building pass
September 8, 2025 at 11:19 AM
hazelsouthwell.bsky.social
oh sure yeah this is going fine
September 6, 2025 at 10:59 PM
hazelsouthwell.bsky.social
many are calling this the professionals setup
The little black and white cat under a bed desk with board games propped on it, she is reading an article on my laptop about continuous capture and reduction of CO2 in an electrochemical molten salt system because she takes after her mum
September 6, 2025 at 7:12 PM
hazelsouthwell.bsky.social
going to start documenting diagrams that look like 90s cineplex carpet patterns
a diagram of a process that uses a porous membrane for a chemical conversion but mostly looks like a load of abstract ovals in a jaunty array exactly like a jazzy 90s carpet design
September 6, 2025 at 3:56 PM
hazelsouthwell.bsky.social
things dug out of the depths: identify this Formula 2 race
A page of handwritten notes reading Gelael out of line on grid Sette Camara stalls on grid again Lando Norris told (?) Second formation lap Arjun Mini also stalled Latifi stranded on grid Gelael and Makino collide at turn 14, bringing VSC out on lap 2 Niko Kari also taken out of the race despite making it to pits 'suddenly I got a car onto my rear tyre and just spun" - Kari Lap four - Ticktum declares gearbox "fucked" and retires
September 4, 2025 at 5:05 PM
hazelsouthwell.bsky.social
my little tiny big 18 year old boy wants to go to sleep with mommi every night tho and I love him
the big tabby cat curled up against me on the bedsheets
September 3, 2025 at 12:14 AM
hazelsouthwell.bsky.social
a screenshot from Massive Attack's video for Live With Me showing a dishevelled woman downing an entire bottle of vodka
August 31, 2025 at 2:26 PM
hazelsouthwell.bsky.social
screenshot of a 2021 tumblr post by user beadyeyes the text reads: if i had a lame ass boyfriend i would hype him so much i would make him wait out side so i could go in first and be like get ready here comes the most specialest boy ever if you dont cheer and clap for him ill fucking blow this whole building up
August 26, 2025 at 12:53 PM
hazelsouthwell.bsky.social
just been told in quick succession that I look very different when I'm not behind the bar of my pub and also that I apparently look at most 25 (😂😂😂) so I'll take that I guess
Me looking like absolute shite but I guess I've put some eyeliner and a dress on
August 24, 2025 at 6:31 PM