Please, please, please let this be true.

I'd get rid of my kid before any of my pets. To be fair, my kid is 24 and moved back in a year ago.

I'd rather scalp him.

When I was a kid, my dad hit a deer with our little Pontiac. When he saw the headlights, that absolute legend of a buck put his head down like he was going to lock horns. I still think about that badass buck.

I'd say, "not all Americans," but I'm pretty sure it's just as counterproductive as "not all men."

I'm here for the schadenfreude. I'm financially secure enough that I'm not going to hurt. But the undereducated low-wage morons that voted for Cheeto are really going to suffer.

No, no...wait, let them learn the hard way.

His supporters probably see this as "macho"