Love non-magic MC saving his magic friends, but need a little more specificity on what the external conflict is going to be for him. We know he has to fix himself to be a savior, but how, and what does he need to do to the AFL specifically/how are they "targeting" his friends? #mockpit #fifrevpit

Love the pitch as written in the graphic, can we condense it and use it for the text pitch above? Story sounds ADORABLE. #mockpit #fifrevpit

Nice start! Maybe building up the MC here might help focus this pitch and give it a real punch? #mockpit #fifrevpit

Fun premise! A little thrown by the mention of the crush up top with the quick redirect to the enemies-to-lovers LI, can we reword this to make it more clear what the primary love story is? #mockpit #fifrevpit

Fun premise! I love this! Can we learn a little more about the world/why she would be exterminated? I love the format of this but a little more world and character building would be helpful to understand motivation/why we care about Cera. #mockpit #fifrevpit

OK, that’s good to know! In which case can we mention the way that the tension escalates during the story? How do things complicate if we start off with this push pull?

#mockpit #fifrevpit

Agreed! Nice conflict here but wondering what came first, the plan or the love interest? I would set this up as one desire that is complicated by another, rather than using the “compromise” language.

#mockpit #fifrevpit

This sounds intriguing and your mood board is gorgeous! Curious why she’d risk all this to save this girl? If we knew what was at stake if she didn’t save that girl that would give us some good tension here.

#mockpit #fifrevpit

I would LOVE an updated Brady Bunch!! I’ve heard about the need for sports stories as well. #kidlitchat

🤯

I think this kind of trend info is useful— if people want shorter books, that’s a stylistic adjustment that can be done without changing the heart of the story you want to tell. (agree under 55K is a good aim). #kidlitchat

HOW have I missed those? I’ll have to check them out!

More historicals make me happy since that’s what I tend to write!! #kidlitchat

Agreed!

Absolutely!