Chris
@halbig.bsky.social
Respectfully, why is Nancy Guthrie headline-making national news?
February 11, 2026 at 3:29 AM
Respectfully, why is Nancy Guthrie headline-making national news?
Despite the espresso, I am a bit depresso.
January 29, 2026 at 3:27 AM
Despite the espresso, I am a bit depresso.
Packing be like: "Extra socks in case they get wet... extra underwear in case I shit myself... extra shirt in case I sweat through these... another extra pair of underwear in case I shit myself again... extra socks and extra underwear in case I step in another puddle while shitting myself..."
August 23, 2025 at 10:09 PM
Packing be like: "Extra socks in case they get wet... extra underwear in case I shit myself... extra shirt in case I sweat through these... another extra pair of underwear in case I shit myself again... extra socks and extra underwear in case I step in another puddle while shitting myself..."
I might be watching too much TikTok. I just groaned when I bent over to pick something up from the floor, and then I captioned myself by saying out loud, "*groans in millennial*". I live alone; no one was here to witness this.
August 10, 2025 at 1:53 PM
I might be watching too much TikTok. I just groaned when I bent over to pick something up from the floor, and then I captioned myself by saying out loud, "*groans in millennial*". I live alone; no one was here to witness this.
I'm over 40 and I can still sing the Animaniacs theme song from memory without having heard it in many, many years.
June 4, 2025 at 12:26 AM
I'm over 40 and I can still sing the Animaniacs theme song from memory without having heard it in many, many years.
Tonight, I summoned the necessary courage to speak with a human being over the phone when I called a hotel with a question... and the automated recording said "If you'd rather text us..." and I was like "yes god bless you" 🙏😂
April 14, 2025 at 11:48 PM
Tonight, I summoned the necessary courage to speak with a human being over the phone when I called a hotel with a question... and the automated recording said "If you'd rather text us..." and I was like "yes god bless you" 🙏😂
Guys, I hate this season of "America." Like, we get it, they hired an idiot to be in charge, and he keeps undoing his idiotic decisions when everyone is like, "Hey, that was idiotic, you idiot." It was almost funny at first, but the story is getting repetitive.
April 10, 2025 at 12:54 AM
Guys, I hate this season of "America." Like, we get it, they hired an idiot to be in charge, and he keeps undoing his idiotic decisions when everyone is like, "Hey, that was idiotic, you idiot." It was almost funny at first, but the story is getting repetitive.
Randomly logged in to my Imgur account that I haven't posted to in almost 4 years, and my most popular post - at almost 12K updoots - was a bag of ice taped to the wall. Take it in, my friends.
April 8, 2025 at 10:50 PM
Randomly logged in to my Imgur account that I haven't posted to in almost 4 years, and my most popular post - at almost 12K updoots - was a bag of ice taped to the wall. Take it in, my friends.
I disliked Russell Brand long before it was cool to dislike Russell Brand.
April 7, 2025 at 2:19 AM
I disliked Russell Brand long before it was cool to dislike Russell Brand.
Sometimes it just feels good to put my personal thoughts online, out into the æther, even if no one reads them, while unnecessarily using characters and diacritics I don't fully understand, so that I seem learnèd and trustworthy.
March 5, 2025 at 2:56 AM
Sometimes it just feels good to put my personal thoughts online, out into the æther, even if no one reads them, while unnecessarily using characters and diacritics I don't fully understand, so that I seem learnèd and trustworthy.
Look around you, there are many things to see that some would say could never be. These things I know - it's true and I will tell you so - they are there to see, if you believe.
March 2, 2025 at 4:06 AM
Look around you, there are many things to see that some would say could never be. These things I know - it's true and I will tell you so - they are there to see, if you believe.
I divorced Facebook in 2020, but I still have an account. Now when I occasionally log on, all I get is AI-generated garbage posts like this one... an animal sanctuary with Jason Momoa as their profile picture talking about "Stark Trek"
February 23, 2025 at 2:36 AM
I divorced Facebook in 2020, but I still have an account. Now when I occasionally log on, all I get is AI-generated garbage posts like this one... an animal sanctuary with Jason Momoa as their profile picture talking about "Stark Trek"
My vehicle's roadside assistance program, included with the warranty, is not available for off-road conditions, "or conditions manifesting themselves off-road." I had to sit with that sentence for a few moments, and I'm still not sure what it means.
February 22, 2025 at 11:13 PM
My vehicle's roadside assistance program, included with the warranty, is not available for off-road conditions, "or conditions manifesting themselves off-road." I had to sit with that sentence for a few moments, and I'm still not sure what it means.
I swear to God I'll pistol-whip the next guy that says "economies of scale"
February 19, 2025 at 2:31 AM
I swear to God I'll pistol-whip the next guy that says "economies of scale"
YouTube just reminded me that there exists an Alanis Morissette parody of Black Eyed Peas’ “My Humps” and life feels just a little brighter today.
February 17, 2025 at 9:28 PM
YouTube just reminded me that there exists an Alanis Morissette parody of Black Eyed Peas’ “My Humps” and life feels just a little brighter today.
The third (Picardy or otherwise) has been been an important part of my life for many years. I could sing it in harmony in our children's choir at church, and that impressed the adult in charge of us, who encouraged me to keep doing that because it would make her seem like she was doing a great job.
February 15, 2025 at 4:51 AM
The third (Picardy or otherwise) has been been an important part of my life for many years. I could sing it in harmony in our children's choir at church, and that impressed the adult in charge of us, who encouraged me to keep doing that because it would make her seem like she was doing a great job.
My new hobby is incredulously yelling "TRANS!?" like a scared conservative at words that always included the prefix meaning "across" or "to the other side." Transportation, transaction, translation... TRANSFORMERS?! More like "predators in disguise", amirite??? Ugh grow up🙄
February 13, 2025 at 1:24 AM
My new hobby is incredulously yelling "TRANS!?" like a scared conservative at words that always included the prefix meaning "across" or "to the other side." Transportation, transaction, translation... TRANSFORMERS?! More like "predators in disguise", amirite??? Ugh grow up🙄
I guess there’s an important episode of football this weekend, or something? I dunno. Go team!
February 6, 2025 at 11:28 PM
I guess there’s an important episode of football this weekend, or something? I dunno. Go team!
“Guys… *sigh*… stop.”
~ I say, reading the news.
~ I say, reading the news.
February 5, 2025 at 10:46 PM
“Guys… *sigh*… stop.”
~ I say, reading the news.
~ I say, reading the news.
You'll never hate an automatic grammar checker more than if you keep a personal journal written in a causal, conversational tone. For every error correctly identified, it finds 100 false positives. I write what I mean with the words that I have chosen; leave me alone.
February 2, 2025 at 3:39 PM
You'll never hate an automatic grammar checker more than if you keep a personal journal written in a causal, conversational tone. For every error correctly identified, it finds 100 false positives. I write what I mean with the words that I have chosen; leave me alone.
I made a Connections puzzle
connectionsplus.io
January 31, 2025 at 6:55 PM
I made a Connections puzzle
"How old are you?"
"Oh, I literally still can't get this song out of my head."
"Oh, I literally still can't get this song out of my head."
Jamiroquai - Virtual Insanity (Official Video)
YouTube video by JamiroquaiVEVO
www.youtube.com
January 31, 2025 at 2:48 AM
"How old are you?"
"Oh, I literally still can't get this song out of my head."
"Oh, I literally still can't get this song out of my head."
Is it just me or does it feel like if you need to make the first and last sentences in your book, "I am not anti-vaccine" that you're already saying a lot about all the other sentences in your book.
January 29, 2025 at 11:55 PM
Is it just me or does it feel like if you need to make the first and last sentences in your book, "I am not anti-vaccine" that you're already saying a lot about all the other sentences in your book.
I was just thinking about the time I was eating Activia and a coworker looked at me and said, "Isn't that WOMEN'S yogurt?" ... Bro, I'm sorry, they were all out of TESTOSTEROGURT. You know, the only yogurt infused with BEER and MISOGYNY that comes in a GUN. I had to settle for this.
January 25, 2025 at 5:18 PM
I was just thinking about the time I was eating Activia and a coworker looked at me and said, "Isn't that WOMEN'S yogurt?" ... Bro, I'm sorry, they were all out of TESTOSTEROGURT. You know, the only yogurt infused with BEER and MISOGYNY that comes in a GUN. I had to settle for this.