🗡️ Very scary. I'm glad it ended for you all.

🪐 That sounds very tough, I hope you will eventually be able to distance from people who make you unhappy.

🎇 As we heard one system say once: If you were faking, you'd know it.

What we also told ourselves: we see positive change from acknowledging and acting upon us being a system, having cPTSD, being autistic. It's not criminal to help oneself using guides from the group you possibly don't fit in.

🎇 We used to be afraid we'll never get joy from art. We still struggle to remember if we ever did in the past. It seems like it was one of monotonous coping mechanisms for us. It only served to distract from anxiety or pain and take up time.

Right now? Art is the value. Not just a tool. 4/4

🎇 What also played a role is that we had just enough time and money to afford at least some therapy. It was crucial too.

And now? Our passion for art has been revived.

We've been burnt out for so long that we thought it would actually be impossible to see the end of our anhedonia towards art. 3/4

🎇 Last ~4 months — these were truly the only months we have ever felt complete, serene, happy. Suddenly [And actually very expectantly], as we met the only person we could call our family, our suicidal ideation backed down.

We don't feel endlessly exhausted from all the flashbacks. 2/4

🎇 It's kind of like learning to put away toys. To clean up the mess after an art project. If this session is done, then everything has to be... «reset».

🎇 When we were a child we used to collect a ton of tabs as well. At some point one of us realized how much it clutters our brain and we just... restricted our usage of browsers to like... 6 tabs max.