I think it's a mix of pain and residual primal terror from Sunday

People are kind and I love them, but I'm begging you to not perceive me

I was mostly saying it just to torment Rynn but I didn't realize it bugged you, I'm really sorry 😭

I'll stop using it

Or ever actually lmao

I don't want to get out of bed today

Sigh

Cuz what it boils down to is like, I ask what I'm doing wrong or if I'm doing something hurtful and it comes down to "you're too loud"

Brain torn between "okay maybe you should be loud too then?" and "fine I should shut up so people don't think I'm trying to talk over them"

I could cause Such A Family Incident right now if I had the spoons for it

And like I said it's not fucking fair to the people who put genuine effort in to make me feel like a person and not just an entity or a means to an end but fucking hell I wish I knew why I couldn't accept it

I try to, but nothing works and it just makes me draw back more and more and more

Fumbling social interactions where I can physically see the sims friendship down thing pop up on my brain screen on the daily and it's like ah well fuck me I fucking hate myself and I hate that I'm like this

Legit I wish I could jusy fucking not care about being near people but I'm too people needy

Like I am crawling out of my fuckign skin

I should've posted that on this one, huh

"Why the censors" I don't want a bunch of people who don't know me following this account when I can't force them to unfollow even through soft blocking tbh so I'm trying to keep it lowkey