I ended up taking someone from a Subaru club’s forum as my date to the wedding.

Another insane and diabolical piece of lore about me is that I loved reading the Craigslist personals. I once made my own personal ad soliciting a date to a wedding. The replies were unhinged. Some wanted me to buy them a suit and get them a hotel room, and most thought that sex was included.

I loved Wall Drug, as I love all tourist traps.