Everyone knows that if you die in a dream you’re still sleeping in the real world but you get a huge boaner that lasts for like three hours

My dicks broken. Piss is coming out of it in different directions. Forked-piss dick. Might have to sit down from now on 😔

@raventhon.com now try being obsessed with these human-scale nuts

The king of balls

Eating ass at a sex party is inconsiderate to all the other people there

Once you eat ass, your face belongs to that ass for the rest of the night

I’ve been thinking about all the people in my life who didn’t choose me and I’m coming to the conclusion that they all seriously fucked up

I think these pants are too tight. They shoved my dick back in so far that when I went to pee it looked like I was uncircumcised for a second there. Spooky

Mfw when I pee into the toilet full of blue cleaner and it turns green:

Ah, the wonders of color science. Newton would be proud

✔️Phone
✔️keys
✔️wallet
✔️this ass

I’m ready to have consensual homosexual sex with this whole goddam planet