Just in case you forgot my dog is huge
June 16, 2025 at 7:42 AM
Just in case you forgot my dog is huge
“Did you like how I sang you Evanescence this morning?”
“Yeah, you’re always surprising me in bed”
“Yeah, you’re always surprising me in bed”
May 8, 2025 at 2:16 AM
“Did you like how I sang you Evanescence this morning?”
“Yeah, you’re always surprising me in bed”
“Yeah, you’re always surprising me in bed”
Already finished 12 books this month. I’m on a rampage
March 26, 2025 at 8:20 AM
Already finished 12 books this month. I’m on a rampage
I hope this email doesn’t find you
March 19, 2025 at 4:31 AM
I hope this email doesn’t find you
69 days into 2025
March 11, 2025 at 12:21 PM
69 days into 2025
I’ve already read 11 books this year.
March 11, 2025 at 12:06 PM
I’ve already read 11 books this year.
If you fart in elevators you’re either very funny or a war criminal depending on my mood
February 23, 2025 at 8:22 PM
If you fart in elevators you’re either very funny or a war criminal depending on my mood
Today is my dog Odin’s 9th birthday 🥲
February 17, 2025 at 4:14 AM
Today is my dog Odin’s 9th birthday 🥲
Reposted
There's a Crisis of Masculinity in this country and the only way to solve it is to let me act like a cross between a baby and a movie villain
February 15, 2025 at 8:25 PM
There's a Crisis of Masculinity in this country and the only way to solve it is to let me act like a cross between a baby and a movie villain
With eggs this expensive I’m eating the shells
February 16, 2025 at 5:40 PM
With eggs this expensive I’m eating the shells
I haven’t bought Civ 7 yet because it’s my partner’s birthday week and I know I am incapable of doing both
February 14, 2025 at 2:13 AM
I haven’t bought Civ 7 yet because it’s my partner’s birthday week and I know I am incapable of doing both
I like the way Elmo runs
February 13, 2025 at 8:53 PM
I like the way Elmo runs
Going to the gun range to practice my Mexican standoffs
February 13, 2025 at 8:45 PM
Going to the gun range to practice my Mexican standoffs
Highlight of the Super Bowl:
Tim Robinson featured in commercial.
Philly will burn tonight.
Tim Robinson featured in commercial.
Philly will burn tonight.
February 10, 2025 at 3:36 AM
Highlight of the Super Bowl:
Tim Robinson featured in commercial.
Philly will burn tonight.
Tim Robinson featured in commercial.
Philly will burn tonight.
I treat everyone like they could be 3 smaller people in a trench coat. You never know
February 8, 2025 at 1:20 AM
I treat everyone like they could be 3 smaller people in a trench coat. You never know
Immigrants are not my enemy
February 3, 2025 at 12:16 AM
Immigrants are not my enemy
Does anyone have a Groupon deal for lobotomies?
January 31, 2025 at 4:26 PM
Does anyone have a Groupon deal for lobotomies?
A first draft of a new creative process. Spray paint on glass.
January 28, 2025 at 4:32 PM
A first draft of a new creative process. Spray paint on glass.
I’m making art this week. Good for my brain but bad for my back
January 24, 2025 at 4:31 PM
I’m making art this week. Good for my brain but bad for my back
Pros of doorbell camera:
-Can check on the house when not there
-Safety for packages
Cons of doorbell camera:
-Panic attack from anywhere in the world when any person approaches my front door
-Can check on the house when not there
-Safety for packages
Cons of doorbell camera:
-Panic attack from anywhere in the world when any person approaches my front door
January 15, 2025 at 6:18 AM
Pros of doorbell camera:
-Can check on the house when not there
-Safety for packages
Cons of doorbell camera:
-Panic attack from anywhere in the world when any person approaches my front door
-Can check on the house when not there
-Safety for packages
Cons of doorbell camera:
-Panic attack from anywhere in the world when any person approaches my front door
A zyn and a round of super hexagon is probably what doing crack feels like
January 12, 2025 at 12:14 AM
A zyn and a round of super hexagon is probably what doing crack feels like
Why can’t fantasy books ever be like, not embarrassing to tell your coworkers about? Can you imagine explaining the character Dumbledore out loud if everyone didn’t already know who he was?
January 4, 2025 at 6:30 PM
Why can’t fantasy books ever be like, not embarrassing to tell your coworkers about? Can you imagine explaining the character Dumbledore out loud if everyone didn’t already know who he was?
Having one little Excedrine as a treat
January 2, 2025 at 5:23 PM
Having one little Excedrine as a treat