When I’m standing, I’m vertical. If I’m laying down, I’m horizontal …If I have insomnia, does that make me horizontally challenged?
#insomnia

Sometimes when I’m making popcorn and a kernel jumps ship early from my air popper, I throw it back in. It thought it was getting away with something. NOPE!

Here’s a post about my post that I’m not actually going to post, because if I posted what I actually wanted to post, then you would know what I’m talking about, but instead you just get a great sentence separated by commas, commas, and more commas.

Too vague?
#wycdicdb

So, this all needs to be said, because it makes the story that much better

I was going to make hot dogs in the air fryer, and then warm the buns, use cream cheese and Sriracha... a friends boyfriend had them out in Cali and she told me they made them at home and they were good.

Since I live in a mono world, what does it sound like internally when you brush your teeth. Do you hear it in your head? #halfdeaf #monohearing

I slow blinked in the shower…
Listening to Fat Boy Slim’s You’ve Come Along Way Baby album, Right Here, Right Now ends and I’m singing along to the dude requesting “Funk soul brother, check it out now…” instead of Rockafella Skank, the album was on shuffle and Gangsta Trippin’ starts..

Blink…blink

I still wonder why Cracker Barrel fired #bradswife after 11yrs of loyal service.

I’m currently horizontal because my brain doesn’t move. In a minute, I’ll be vertical & I’ll wonder how I got from the ass magnet* to the fridge.

Also, the TV was on pause long enough that it turned off for the 3rd time tonight.

*ass magnet = couch, because it has a gravitational pull for my ass!

why don’t i have socks on?