Gotham City Montessori
@gothammontessori.bsky.social
Montessori for Gotham’s next generation of heroes (and CEOs.) 🦇
We are proud to announce our new “Emotion Recognition and De-escalation” training for children who encounter overdramatic figures in trench coats.
May 17, 2025 at 3:25 PM
We are proud to announce our new “Emotion Recognition and De-escalation” training for children who encounter overdramatic figures in trench coats.
During circle time, we will continue our conflict resolution practice. We kindly ask parents not to interrupt by shouting, “Break their spirits first!”
May 17, 2025 at 3:24 PM
During circle time, we will continue our conflict resolution practice. We kindly ask parents not to interrupt by shouting, “Break their spirits first!”
Please remind your child that the dramatic posing they see on rooftops is NOT part of our Physical Grace and Movement curriculum.
May 17, 2025 at 3:23 PM
Please remind your child that the dramatic posing they see on rooftops is NOT part of our Physical Grace and Movement curriculum.
We encourage all students to express themselves creatively, but we must insist that any theatrical masks remain non-threatening and not covered in blood.
May 2, 2025 at 5:32 PM
We encourage all students to express themselves creatively, but we must insist that any theatrical masks remain non-threatening and not covered in blood.
This week’s nature walk has been relocated from Robinson Park to the school gym due to “overgrown plants that whisper threats.”
May 2, 2025 at 5:32 PM
This week’s nature walk has been relocated from Robinson Park to the school gym due to “overgrown plants that whisper threats.”
Parents: If your child claims they are being followed by a shadowy figure who only appears at night, please fill out Form 48B: “Potential Vigilante Interaction.”
May 2, 2025 at 5:31 PM
Parents: If your child claims they are being followed by a shadowy figure who only appears at night, please fill out Form 48B: “Potential Vigilante Interaction.”
We are now offering workshops on “How to Gently Explain to Your Child Why Their Playground Buddy Is Wearing a Full-Body Combat Suit.”
May 2, 2025 at 5:31 PM
We are now offering workshops on “How to Gently Explain to Your Child Why Their Playground Buddy Is Wearing a Full-Body Combat Suit.”
Reminder: Our peaceful conflict resolution training is for students only. Parents who were heard shouting “Vengeance!” during last week’s meeting, please see the front desk.
May 2, 2025 at 5:30 PM
Reminder: Our peaceful conflict resolution training is for students only. Parents who were heard shouting “Vengeance!” during last week’s meeting, please see the front desk.
Due to safety concerns, the school has officially banned all lessons involving “Acidic Chemicals,” “Dangerous Puzzles,” and “Running Towards Creepy Laughter.”
May 2, 2025 at 5:30 PM
Due to safety concerns, the school has officially banned all lessons involving “Acidic Chemicals,” “Dangerous Puzzles,” and “Running Towards Creepy Laughter.”
Our new “Practical Life Skills” curriculum now includes “Negotiating with Henchmen” and “Using Soft Voices During a Hostage Situation.”
May 2, 2025 at 5:29 PM
Our new “Practical Life Skills” curriculum now includes “Negotiating with Henchmen” and “Using Soft Voices During a Hostage Situation.”
We are proud to announce our new “Emotion Recognition and De-escalation” training for children who encounter overdramatic figures in trench coats.
April 25, 2025 at 5:53 PM
We are proud to announce our new “Emotion Recognition and De-escalation” training for children who encounter overdramatic figures in trench coats.
Our new outdoor exploration unit has been temporarily suspended after students discovered a secret tunnel leading to what appears to be a villain’s lair.
April 25, 2025 at 5:53 PM
Our new outdoor exploration unit has been temporarily suspended after students discovered a secret tunnel leading to what appears to be a villain’s lair.
Parents are reminded that even if your child has been granted temporary superpowers, they are still required to participate in nap time.
April 25, 2025 at 5:53 PM
Parents are reminded that even if your child has been granted temporary superpowers, they are still required to participate in nap time.
We appreciate parent volunteers! However, if you plan to assist during field trips, please do not bring utility belts or grappling hooks.
April 9, 2025 at 12:21 PM
We appreciate parent volunteers! However, if you plan to assist during field trips, please do not bring utility belts or grappling hooks.
Please refrain from packing “mystery vials” in your child’s lunchbox. Especially if they glow. We cannot stress this enough.
April 9, 2025 at 12:20 PM
Please refrain from packing “mystery vials” in your child’s lunchbox. Especially if they glow. We cannot stress this enough.
To promote mindfulness, we ask students to remain calm during emergency drills. Even if those drills involve cackling clowns or suspicious green smoke.
April 9, 2025 at 12:19 PM
To promote mindfulness, we ask students to remain calm during emergency drills. Even if those drills involve cackling clowns or suspicious green smoke.
Our school counselor is available for any students feeling overwhelmed, brooding, or caught in generational cycles of vigilante vengeance.
April 2, 2025 at 1:16 PM
Our school counselor is available for any students feeling overwhelmed, brooding, or caught in generational cycles of vigilante vengeance.
We’re proud to teach independence, but students are reminded not to attempt rooftop surveillance without adult supervision.
April 2, 2025 at 1:14 PM
We’re proud to teach independence, but students are reminded not to attempt rooftop surveillance without adult supervision.
Due to ongoing concerns, our “Outdoor Adventure Curriculum” will no longer include visits to “The Abandoned Amusement Park.”
April 2, 2025 at 1:13 PM
Due to ongoing concerns, our “Outdoor Adventure Curriculum” will no longer include visits to “The Abandoned Amusement Park.”
To ensure student safety, all recess activities will now be held indoors. We apologize for the inconvenience, but Gotham’s fog was developing a suspicious laugh.
April 1, 2025 at 2:30 PM
To ensure student safety, all recess activities will now be held indoors. We apologize for the inconvenience, but Gotham’s fog was developing a suspicious laugh.
Please note: If your child comes home with a grappling hook, that was NOT part of the curriculum. We are investigating.
March 29, 2025 at 6:25 PM
Please note: If your child comes home with a grappling hook, that was NOT part of the curriculum. We are investigating.
Reminder: The Gotham City Montessori Winter Concert will now include “Dramatic Monologue Appreciation” due to ongoing requests from overly theatrical parents.
March 29, 2025 at 6:24 PM
Reminder: The Gotham City Montessori Winter Concert will now include “Dramatic Monologue Appreciation” due to ongoing requests from overly theatrical parents.
Our Practical Life lessons now include “Safely Disarming a Booby Trap” and “Identifying Suspicious Packages.”
March 29, 2025 at 6:24 PM
Our Practical Life lessons now include “Safely Disarming a Booby Trap” and “Identifying Suspicious Packages.”
Field Trip Permission Slips are required for all outings, especially those involving the sewers, the abandoned amusement park, and “that creepy old factory.”
March 29, 2025 at 6:24 PM
Field Trip Permission Slips are required for all outings, especially those involving the sewers, the abandoned amusement park, and “that creepy old factory.”
We kindly ask parents to stop sending cupcakes shaped like mini crime scenes. The children are beginning to think this is normal.
March 29, 2025 at 6:23 PM
We kindly ask parents to stop sending cupcakes shaped like mini crime scenes. The children are beginning to think this is normal.