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goodoldbus.bsky.social
huizi stan account
@goodoldbus.bsky.social
280 followers 120 following 1.3K posts
not interesting or funny please do not engage with me

42 he/him las vegas
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goodoldbus.bsky.social
♪ I STAYED UP LISTENING TO QUEEN ♪
November 18, 2025 at 6:20 PM
goodoldbus.bsky.social
record shopping with your kid is fun as hell
“Cicha Noc (Silent Night),” Cannonball Adderley and Friends, Barry Manilow II, “News of the World” by Queen
November 17, 2025 at 1:20 AM
goodoldbus.bsky.social
this one's not particularly spicy, just some vague musings on what mental health means to me and what I try to do about it
I think a lot about what mental health is and what exactly do I do with it. Every week I encounter somebody that makes me wonder if any of the stuff I go on about means anything at all. Therapeutic conversations inevitably focus on emotions, and emotions are simultaneously completely immaterial and some of the most powerful forces we're pushed and pulled by. To ask what is mental health, I have to ask things like what is the mind and what is consciousness. We cannot answer these questions in a way that easily relates to empirical measurements. The more I ponder them, the more I recognize that is what makes them so powerful and necessary. When analyzing the anatomy of a feeling like distress, the elements that cause the discomfort and abrasion are rarely grounded in the real world. Distress tends to be a minor crisis of reality: some outcome is not what you wanted and the desired outcome feels so real in that formless space of the mind we wish we could bend reality itself to manifest it. I look at the mind as our brain's filtering process of relevant and irrelevant reality. It's the boundary that controls the flow of imagination into reality and vice versa. When I consider someone's mental health, I'm really considering their relationship with reality itself. Are they happy with it or unhappy? Do they accept it or do they not? Is there a specific alternate reality they would prefer? What is it and how reasonable a preference is it? I believe every person has a right to escape emotional distress. I see at people as individual beacons collecting information about this incomprehensible thing called reality and trying to make the most sense of it they can. Emotions are reality checking tools that tell us some of the most critical details about our experiences. Are we safe or in danger? Are we hated or loved? Is this data point relevant to our personal theories or an outlier? Our emotional experiences are unique to us, but the questions we ponder are the same. People are bound by our existential confusion and the fear it inspires. It's spooky how often the worst feelings of dread around this can be quelled with a partner in contemplation.
November 13, 2025 at 8:42 PM
goodoldbus.bsky.social
leonard and I got vaxxed today
a caucasian man’s left bicep with a tattoo of Leonard Cohen’s head and shoulders, captioned, “come gather the pieces all scattered and lost, the lie in what’s holy, the light in what’s not,” and with two bandaids covering the face
November 12, 2025 at 7:17 AM
goodoldbus.bsky.social
Age yourself with gaming
the 1990s polish tabletop rpg “magia i miecz” (might and magic, no relation to the western series)
November 12, 2025 at 1:46 AM
goodoldbus.bsky.social
merch haul from last night. trash animals are my friends and they rule. AMT had psychedelic pendants in lieu of t shirts. I got one thinking maybe I can become a psychedelic pendant guy but my daughter has already claimed it as her own
tshirt of the band trash animals, two AMT limited edition cds, a trash animals cd, and a circular pendant on a brown string
November 9, 2025 at 8:51 PM
goodoldbus.bsky.social
a reflection on year 0 as a registered I and a mass ian mackaye "what the fuck have YOU done??" callout along with a picture of h ross perot because I'm funny like that
About a year ago, I changed my voter registration from Democrat to Independent. I was disgusted with Biden and the Democrat leadership for giving up in the face of shallow, obviously manufactured outrage. I was tired of being represented by a party that brought it's fight entirely to maintaining specific figureheads at the levers of power. I also just wanted to do something petty back at the party that demanded so much of my attention and never respected me. I've gotten flack from the far left and the post left circles I run in for the history of what that "I" on your registration card implies, and my junk mail has exploded with info cards about which judges and coroners on my ballot are Job Creators. I don't regret my choice, though. 2025 has been a year where the ability to watch the news and snicker to myself "not my party anymore" has proven invaluable. I'm not wishy washy about my politics, however. I know clearly what I live for and why. Voting is a bare minimum civic duty, just like government assistance is a bare minimum expectation for support. While I agree with the vote blue no matter who crowd that the government has a responsibility to care for it's people, the question to me has always been, ok, but why aren't YOU doing anything about it? The idea of collective responsibility is a snipe hunt for the left. I feel like a crank saying this, but I've been in these trenches a long time and one thing that has never helped anybody is advocating for something you personally have no experience with. Right wingers are vocal about some repulsive beliefs, sure, but what are those beliefs to them? What are your beliefs to you? Are you genuinely concerned about oppression? Or are you drawn to the endless rumination of an object of moral contemplation? I don't want to accelerate anyone anywhere, I genuinely want people to think about what they stand for and why. Trump's actions have led to chaos that creates real ground-level situations for real people. Hunger and poverty are social phenomena. They are also as personal as anything gets for the people experiencing them. They deserve better than to be a sparring dummy in a rhetorical gym. photo of presidential candidate h ross perot standing in front of an american flag and behind a podium reading "perot '92" holding up a newspaper that reads "dewey defeats truman"
November 6, 2025 at 5:27 PM
goodoldbus.bsky.social
wrote about why I'm playing it cautious about yesterday and how it has nothing to do with zohran but everyone ELSE left of center
Yesterday was a rare bit of good news in a year rife with disaster. At the center of it all stands our latest political celebrity, NYC mayor-elect Zohran Mamdani. I like him. He seems to understand NYC, he seems driven towards his beliefs by something deeper than climbing the DNC ladder, and he has a history of being genuine and accountable about his ideas. I agree with his assessment of the US as it is right now and that we need to prioritize the lives of who we're sharing our space with, even if that means sacrificing wealth to get there. I'm worried about the viability of such plans in a country that needs a Zohran Mamdani to remind them of humaneness. As a helping professional, I have a deeply cynical view of the average USian's commitment to any of the things they post online about. My experience with everybody adding a bit of Gilded Age spice to their political commentary is that is all it is. US political analysis is so funny to me for the amount of willful rejection of reality it involves. I'm sure many of you are thinking of right of center USA right now. I don't disagree that republicans are angry and deluded. To me, the left of center is also disturbingly uncurious about their opposition. There's a prevailing belief that fixing the country is as simple as getting the skeletal frame of a new Great Society off the ground, at which point these people will look at how happy everyone is and won't be able to stop themselves from turning nice. I take conservative positions seriously, in that I don't like them, but I believe they are organic to the people who express them. People don't arrive at deeply held beliefs through shallow rejection of ephemeral things. At the core of conservativism are ideals that are very attractive to their adherents. A political movement that dies with an electoral loss wasn't much of a movement to start with. I worry about the conservative order that has already shown how violent, underhanded, and obsessive it's willing to be in order to manifest its goals. Leaders like Mamdani are an optimistic sign of what we could have. To get there, we need the followers to be like Mamdani too.
November 5, 2025 at 10:56 PM
goodoldbus.bsky.social
the oceangate titan submersible
November 3, 2025 at 10:03 PM
goodoldbus.bsky.social
I don’t know about this new maha autism pill…
"You'd better not ask for the prescription," rejoined Baochai smil ing. "Why, its enough to wear one out with perplexity! the necessaries and ingredients are few, and all easy to get, but it would be difficult to find the lucky moment! You want twelve ounces of the pollen of the white peone, which flowers in spring, twelve ounces of the pollen of the white summer lily, twelve ounces of the pollen of the autumn hibiscus flower, and twelve ounces of the white plum in bloom in the winter. You take the four kinds of pollen, and put them in the sun, on the very day of the vernal equinox of the succeeding year to get dry, and then you mix them with the powder and pound them well togeth-er. You again want twelve mace of water, fallen on 'rain water' day."
November 2, 2025 at 7:37 PM
goodoldbus.bsky.social
Xxxl voordeelpak 100 wasbeurten OMO wit ook in 30 min
November 2, 2025 at 6:00 PM
goodoldbus.bsky.social
happy halloween from our house to yours
a 5 year old child in a kitchen in a rubber horse mask and a purple tshirt of hello kitty dressed like a witch
October 31, 2025 at 7:29 PM
goodoldbus.bsky.social
all I know is it wasn't dave pajo
cover of "spiderland" by slint featuring 3 of 4 members with open mouths
October 27, 2025 at 10:22 PM
goodoldbus.bsky.social
every year my next door neighbor outdoes himself with his Halloween display. how did he do it this year? with 2 skeletons fucking
a driveway featuring 2 inflatable skeletons in an intimate pose
October 24, 2025 at 7:33 PM
goodoldbus.bsky.social
raising our kid punk with these punk phonics practice books
And now the pit is lit!
October 24, 2025 at 2:08 AM
goodoldbus.bsky.social
happy birthday ya goober
bob weir and a duck sitting in the back of a convertible dressed fancy and sipping champagne
October 16, 2025 at 4:48 PM
goodoldbus.bsky.social
felt compelled to write a thing on white boys in the usa, the way just about all of us white cishets experienced something like the maga youth texting scandal regardless of red or blue household, and how we need to get fucking honest as white people about this shit if we're serious about change
If you're a young white male in the US and you're in a group of other white males, it's an unspoken cue to start with the vile jokes. The stuff you're not supposed to talk about, pushing the envelope beyond decency, beyond humaneness, beyond any form of empathy, the only limit your internal disgust. I stress the whiteness over the maleness because I don't remember this happening the same in groups of mixed ethnicity. Those had their "bros before hoes" moments, but I remember them as much more civil. I won't embarrass myself painting a rosy picture. Male identity is complicated enough by patterns of interpersonal stoicism and private post-hoc rationalization. Nor am I going to pretend I didn't participate. After all, I was a manly future man who tested all boundaries, especially those within myself. I had the vague idea that a man must be the first line of defense against evil in their corner of existence. I have to be TOUGH against it, and nothing is more all-purpose tough than numbness. However, the all-white settings brought a new conversational frontier: racism. Several times in my childhood, I found myself in a group of other white male peers act as if suddenly possessed by the ghost of Andrew Jackson. Listen you don't have to believe me, but this shit TERRIFIED me and made me sick to my stomach. I felt complicit. When I see people lamenting the loss of a post-racial utopia that never existed, I feel a similar kind of sickness. I see a lot of people parroting this line who appear to have the exact same boyhood memories. How are they not feeling the same guilt I am? How is the gravity of the present not compelling them to honesty? I don't know what the solution is, but I've tasked myself with changing the dysfunctional hearts of our dysfunctional society. I've been conscientiously backing away from the political lens. It continually brings bad faith, false dichotomies, solutions that just so happen to needle the source of the next conflict (which happens to have solutions for that ready, too). The change we need must be consensual, transparent, and accountable. We can't get there as a country if we're personally terrified of those things in our own lives.
October 15, 2025 at 9:39 PM
goodoldbus.bsky.social
oh hell yea remembered I have a very obnoxious vegan tshirt
Photo of a Caucasian man in a living room wearing a tshirt that says “I don’t eat my homies” with silhouettes of a cow, pig, and chicken against a sunset
October 11, 2025 at 5:29 PM
goodoldbus.bsky.social
4 albums I got for myself prior to middle school that honestly still fucking slap
cover of "totally krossed out" by kris kross cover of "monster hits" by captain billy and the cataloon crew cover of "I'm breathless" by madonna cover of "what a wonderful world" by willie nelson
October 10, 2025 at 6:05 PM
goodoldbus.bsky.social
4 cds my parents got from columbia house in the early 90s that went on to weigh very heavily on the development of my fledgling taste in music
cover of "Dave Grusin Presents GRP All-Star Big Band LIVE!" cover of "nouveau famenco" by ottmar liebert cover of "Dirty Dancing: Live in Concert" featuring Merry Clayton, Eric Carmen, the Contours, and Bill Medley cover of "pass it on down" by alabama
October 10, 2025 at 5:53 PM
goodoldbus.bsky.social
one of my favorite parts of life in vegas is the funny little ways we have to dance around the fact that the backbone of our regional economy is corruption
screenshot of a las vegas review-journal article titled How is Las Vegas' casino revenue up while visitation is down?
October 3, 2025 at 12:27 AM
goodoldbus.bsky.social
ok here's one about speech as power, our instinctive ways to treat it as such, how that can feed into a hard to identify sense of shame, and how we all need to stop posting ourselves at our most unhinged for our own sake
A topic I've been discussing with my patients lately is the idea of speech as power in the face of distress. The scenario goes something like this. Something happens in the person's life to cause distress. The outcome is clear, but the cause feels unidentifiable. The person responds in a distressed way, by picking one thing that seems like a reason and running with it. Distress has a way of kicking our decision making into the subconscious. When we reason with our subconscious mind, we don't reason. We go with the flow. Except there's no flow to go with because the flow is a maelstrom of confusion with logical currents that appear to go in every direction at once. We reach for our gut-level instincts and pocket ways of classifying everything in the moment. Our instinctive reactions tend to start out small and basic. We go with what's closest and easiest. In this space, nothing is closer or easier than speech. In the irrationality of bewilderment, we tend to respond to reality itself by telling it to behave. I am convinced that nothing fuels our senses of shame quite like how we acted inelegantly when we were put on the spot with no preparation. The moments haunt us for the ways they reflect our worst. No matter how much we cultivate ourselves into a good socially acceptable person, we now have a clear measure of how low we can go. We address it in therapy is by exploring how this subconscious process can be looked at more closely and how it can be read as a reflection of our distress. We discuss how deeply personal it can feel and acknowledge that, if anything, it's one of the most universal human experiences. That perspective can neutralize the microtrauma that is ourselves holding ourselves deeply responsible for what we don't know. It's important not to place much stock in the literal of anything that is said in these moments. Except here we are in 2025, everybody with the internet in their pocket ready to capture their rawest, most unhinged reaction and display it for the world like a freshly caught sportfish. Our opponents do the same and we get offended. How many of us are reacting to the opportunity of nailing them to the same pain we can't escape?
October 2, 2025 at 7:17 PM
goodoldbus.bsky.social
latest meditation on how absolutely everyone woke or asleep is addicted to the smell of their own farts and how to make conversations with people you don't like or respect actually count for something
I've always been the kind of person random people walk up and talk to. It doesn't bother me. I enjoy seeing the relationship people have with whatever they're talking about, rather than seeing the topic as a global concept and judging them for their similarity to or difference from my understanding of it. There is a range of nuance to opinions. Opinions are more than a public debut of our set of knowledge on a topic. In formulating and vocalizing opinions, we are engaging in the process of knowledge integration. That process continues in the discussions we have with others over that opinion. Looking at the opinion as a product of a global fact is only one way to look at it, and it's often the least relevant to determining why that person picked up that particular opinion as a personal social vehicle. Right now we are all very committed to the idea that interpreting someone's opinion in any way separate from the global concept it connects to is wrong. The reasons tend to reduce to the idea that the global concept is somehow too fragile for broad engagement except in a curated setting. This is the zone of orthodoxy and superstition, where our obsession around the supreme importance of a concept leads us to cut corners and cook up rationalizations. I like to look at people as beacons in our shared reality, with their own sensitivities and experiences coloring the information they take out of it. I don't have to agree with them to see for myself what they claim to see. Whether I accept what they tell me as honest and informed or underhanded and ignorant can equally provide valuable information about the subject of our concern, who it resonates with, and how. To me it's a question of where you see the opportunity for effective change: in shared concepts built by the steps and missteps of a collective, or in individual hearts and minds. Right now, I see our national rot stemming from people's hearts and minds. As much as I can, that's where I try to address it. It gives me a funny perspective on the present, but it also reminds me we are nothing as humans without our ability to communicate, collaborate, disagree, or fight. The one thing we can't be is inert.
September 30, 2025 at 7:58 PM
goodoldbus.bsky.social
repost with a game from the year you were born

upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en...
Promotional poster for the 1983 video game dragon’s lair
September 27, 2025 at 4:52 AM
goodoldbus.bsky.social
wrote about the challenges of couples therapy and the frustration of trying to thread the needle on an issue between people who can't decide if their differences are indeed irreconcilable and if this feels analogous to anything else going on in the world, I can't help it
I try to approach every patient with an open mind. The pressure of resolving a tense situation can make anyone's presentation of "the truth" at least a little wonky. But I don't have the same pretension about certain styles of therapy I have to engage in. I'm happy to play favorites here, and if I have an absolute LEAST favorite type of therapy, it's couples. The circumstances that send most couples to therapy are rarely vanilla. Partners tend to have kicked the tires on all manner of solutions to their distress before finally trying to talk it out. At that point, they're usually exhausted, bitter, and in more pain than before. Even in the most vanilla of circumstances, couples therapy is a mindfuck for everyone involved. The therapist's role isn't meant for any partner in a relationship, but for the relationship itself. It makes sense in the abstract. Relationship problems have a way of making two and two add up to five with the emotional baggage of history, expectation, and insecurity involved. It is VERY hard to listen to any one side of a story and not sympathize with any one partner at any given time. Then there are the couples who are so embittered yet so explicit about staying together that the session itself is a non-starter. The partners stay evenly between compromise and fighting, such that the inconclusive inertia itself becomes a pursuit. The sessions are elaborate dances as each partner shamelessly jumps to cut down the other, usually as the other is clarifying why they did the same earlier. Among my most volatile, dishonest, and injured couples, there is the idea of a lost purpose for the relationship. People don't feel restored by a dynamic they expect to be restored by. They likely didn't notice the general malaise spreading, the way their happiness was increasingly defined by another's expense. These are people tied into knots by resentment for their partner's behavior and denial of their own, until the idea of simple grace for the one they love feels unreachable. Too tired to keep fighting and too ashamed to apologize, these are the moments they benefit most from an idea that's greater than the sum of its parts.
September 26, 2025 at 6:45 PM