You miss 100% of the shots you don't take.
You also miss 100% of the shots you do take.
Damn...you are really bad at this game.
You also miss 100% of the shots you do take.
Damn...you are really bad at this game.
November 2, 2025 at 3:01 AM
You miss 100% of the shots you don't take.
You also miss 100% of the shots you do take.
Damn...you are really bad at this game.
You also miss 100% of the shots you do take.
Damn...you are really bad at this game.
Birds are better at flying than people.
But people have built airplanes.
Which I also don't know how to fly.
Why the fuck did I enter into a bird contest?
I'm never gonna win that bag of assorted seeds.
But people have built airplanes.
Which I also don't know how to fly.
Why the fuck did I enter into a bird contest?
I'm never gonna win that bag of assorted seeds.
October 20, 2025 at 1:14 AM
Birds are better at flying than people.
But people have built airplanes.
Which I also don't know how to fly.
Why the fuck did I enter into a bird contest?
I'm never gonna win that bag of assorted seeds.
But people have built airplanes.
Which I also don't know how to fly.
Why the fuck did I enter into a bird contest?
I'm never gonna win that bag of assorted seeds.
I hate telling people I don't drink because people jump to conclusions why...
Like, seriously, I'm not pregnant...
Like, seriously, I'm not pregnant...
October 16, 2025 at 11:50 PM
I hate telling people I don't drink because people jump to conclusions why...
Like, seriously, I'm not pregnant...
Like, seriously, I'm not pregnant...
Today my therapist assumed I lived in a basement. That's not true, but still a valid guess.
October 16, 2025 at 12:53 AM
Today my therapist assumed I lived in a basement. That's not true, but still a valid guess.
Heads up: If you are going to post something like "We lost an amazing artist and performer today. RIP." It is INCREDIBLY important you specify that it's a post about Diane Keaton!! #lostprophets
October 11, 2025 at 9:52 PM
Heads up: If you are going to post something like "We lost an amazing artist and performer today. RIP." It is INCREDIBLY important you specify that it's a post about Diane Keaton!! #lostprophets
The flotillas delivering aid to Gaza are being intercepted right now. My friend's brother is on one of those boats.
There's a live stream you can watch on YouTube:
www.youtube.com/live/uEN2bWF...
You can also follow along on Aljezeera:
www.youtube.com/live/uEN2bWF...
🇵🇸 #freepalestine #gaza
There's a live stream you can watch on YouTube:
www.youtube.com/live/uEN2bWF...
You can also follow along on Aljezeera:
www.youtube.com/live/uEN2bWF...
🇵🇸 #freepalestine #gaza
24/7 LIVESTREAM OF GLOBAL SUMUD FLOTILLA
YouTube video by Global Sumud Flotilla
www.youtube.com
October 1, 2025 at 11:52 PM
The flotillas delivering aid to Gaza are being intercepted right now. My friend's brother is on one of those boats.
There's a live stream you can watch on YouTube:
www.youtube.com/live/uEN2bWF...
You can also follow along on Aljezeera:
www.youtube.com/live/uEN2bWF...
🇵🇸 #freepalestine #gaza
There's a live stream you can watch on YouTube:
www.youtube.com/live/uEN2bWF...
You can also follow along on Aljezeera:
www.youtube.com/live/uEN2bWF...
🇵🇸 #freepalestine #gaza
💀 Creepy month is finally here! Let's dance together on summer's grave this week! I'm live streaming on Twitch and YouTube @ GoodbyeSimonFox.
#noimnotahuman #silenthillf #vtuber #letsplay
#noimnotahuman #silenthillf #vtuber #letsplay
October 1, 2025 at 7:24 AM
💀 Creepy month is finally here! Let's dance together on summer's grave this week! I'm live streaming on Twitch and YouTube @ GoodbyeSimonFox.
#noimnotahuman #silenthillf #vtuber #letsplay
#noimnotahuman #silenthillf #vtuber #letsplay
One thing I'll say about Louis C.K.
He certainly cultivated the sort of fans who don't care that he's playing the Riyadh Comedy Festival.
He certainly cultivated the sort of fans who don't care that he's playing the Riyadh Comedy Festival.
October 1, 2025 at 5:40 AM
One thing I'll say about Louis C.K.
He certainly cultivated the sort of fans who don't care that he's playing the Riyadh Comedy Festival.
He certainly cultivated the sort of fans who don't care that he's playing the Riyadh Comedy Festival.
I really struggle to be the most insufferably intense person at my communist meetings. Same goes for my ufology meetups. Too much competition. But boy howdy, space comrades, did I find a way to kill two birds with one stone!
September 24, 2025 at 8:03 PM
I really struggle to be the most insufferably intense person at my communist meetings. Same goes for my ufology meetups. Too much competition. But boy howdy, space comrades, did I find a way to kill two birds with one stone!
I keep getting this ad for wrap-around Oakley's with a camera attached. An invention, I imagine, that is only used for filming strippers without their consent.
September 24, 2025 at 8:20 AM
I keep getting this ad for wrap-around Oakley's with a camera attached. An invention, I imagine, that is only used for filming strippers without their consent.
One of my comedy idols died! If you've never listened to Tom Leher, this nerdy looking man made some of the most hilariously demented songs of the black and white era. If you get a chance, go listen to "Poisoning Pigeons in the Park" or "We All Go Together When We Go".
#tomlehrer #musicalcomedy
#tomlehrer #musicalcomedy
July 28, 2025 at 3:32 AM
One of my comedy idols died! If you've never listened to Tom Leher, this nerdy looking man made some of the most hilariously demented songs of the black and white era. If you get a chance, go listen to "Poisoning Pigeons in the Park" or "We All Go Together When We Go".
#tomlehrer #musicalcomedy
#tomlehrer #musicalcomedy
I know there are much bigger problems in the world but the whole #subnautica2 situation is a real cherry on top of the shit sundae.
July 11, 2025 at 4:08 PM
I know there are much bigger problems in the world but the whole #subnautica2 situation is a real cherry on top of the shit sundae.
Come closer grandchildren...my only regret in this world...is that I never learned how to properly make that "brap brap" noise where it sounds like your mouth is a semi-automatic gun. That shit was so cool. Don't be like me, children... (Dies)
July 11, 2025 at 6:57 AM
Come closer grandchildren...my only regret in this world...is that I never learned how to properly make that "brap brap" noise where it sounds like your mouth is a semi-automatic gun. That shit was so cool. Don't be like me, children... (Dies)
I recently joked that Dubai Chocolate just sounds like regular chocolate but made by slaves. Then I remembered how regular chocolate is made...
July 9, 2025 at 2:54 AM
I recently joked that Dubai Chocolate just sounds like regular chocolate but made by slaves. Then I remembered how regular chocolate is made...
My current haul of Sumo merch. Thanks for my buddy JJ for hooking me up.
#sumo #grandsumo #japan #midorifuji #wakatakakage #sumowrestling
#sumo #grandsumo #japan #midorifuji #wakatakakage #sumowrestling
May 19, 2025 at 11:36 PM
My current haul of Sumo merch. Thanks for my buddy JJ for hooking me up.
#sumo #grandsumo #japan #midorifuji #wakatakakage #sumowrestling
#sumo #grandsumo #japan #midorifuji #wakatakakage #sumowrestling
Dear The Past,
I just saw Superbowl LIX. The gameshow host that committed treason and become president outlawed pennies while history's greatest female tennis player crip-walked next to a Pulitzer prize winner calling the wheelchair dude from Degrassi a pedo.
Love,
Simon
(p.s. go Eagles)
I just saw Superbowl LIX. The gameshow host that committed treason and become president outlawed pennies while history's greatest female tennis player crip-walked next to a Pulitzer prize winner calling the wheelchair dude from Degrassi a pedo.
Love,
Simon
(p.s. go Eagles)
February 10, 2025 at 10:41 AM
Dear The Past,
I just saw Superbowl LIX. The gameshow host that committed treason and become president outlawed pennies while history's greatest female tennis player crip-walked next to a Pulitzer prize winner calling the wheelchair dude from Degrassi a pedo.
Love,
Simon
(p.s. go Eagles)
I just saw Superbowl LIX. The gameshow host that committed treason and become president outlawed pennies while history's greatest female tennis player crip-walked next to a Pulitzer prize winner calling the wheelchair dude from Degrassi a pedo.
Love,
Simon
(p.s. go Eagles)
Baby Bear: You ate our porridge and used our furniture!
Goldilocks: Your parents stopped loving each other and sleep in separate beds.
Goldilocks: Your parents stopped loving each other and sleep in separate beds.
February 9, 2025 at 8:56 AM
Baby Bear: You ate our porridge and used our furniture!
Goldilocks: Your parents stopped loving each other and sleep in separate beds.
Goldilocks: Your parents stopped loving each other and sleep in separate beds.
My new book, "I Have No South Mouth and I Must Cream: 7 Spicy Tales Involving Super Horned Up Robots" was rejected because Penguin Books are a pack of cowards.
January 8, 2025 at 1:17 AM
My new book, "I Have No South Mouth and I Must Cream: 7 Spicy Tales Involving Super Horned Up Robots" was rejected because Penguin Books are a pack of cowards.
Studies show Millennials and Gen Z have fewer terracotta warrior statues to protect them in the afterlife than previous generations.
December 19, 2024 at 7:13 PM
Studies show Millennials and Gen Z have fewer terracotta warrior statues to protect them in the afterlife than previous generations.
I livestreamed The Game Awards with my buddy Keeper Reyo. I never expected in a million years that I'd hear the words "Hideo Kojima" said by Statler and Waldorf.
Watch Here:
www.youtube.com/live/a__IXSf...
#thegameawards #vtuber #livestream
Watch Here:
www.youtube.com/live/a__IXSf...
#thegameawards #vtuber #livestream
December 13, 2024 at 8:34 AM
I livestreamed The Game Awards with my buddy Keeper Reyo. I never expected in a million years that I'd hear the words "Hideo Kojima" said by Statler and Waldorf.
Watch Here:
www.youtube.com/live/a__IXSf...
#thegameawards #vtuber #livestream
Watch Here:
www.youtube.com/live/a__IXSf...
#thegameawards #vtuber #livestream
Cosmo Kramer in the CW's reboot of "Seinfeld"
December 10, 2024 at 10:04 PM
Cosmo Kramer in the CW's reboot of "Seinfeld"
In a cruel irony, it took a sexy man who is famous on the Internet to get people interested in Ted Kaczynski's work.
December 10, 2024 at 5:45 AM
In a cruel irony, it took a sexy man who is famous on the Internet to get people interested in Ted Kaczynski's work.
This murder is gonna have a Detective Poirot ending where we find out that all 334 million Americans had motive and conspired to kill that guy.
December 6, 2024 at 5:01 AM
This murder is gonna have a Detective Poirot ending where we find out that all 334 million Americans had motive and conspired to kill that guy.