gollum butt
@gollumbutt.bsky.social
Chronically online and mad about it. Introverted over-sharer. 🐬🌀🦋
Okay confused about the cooking time allotment for a quiche. 45 minutes with a pre high bake of 15 minutes? It’s literally just eggs. If the crust is precooked and so are all the added ingredients why exactly do I need to cook eggs for an hour? Is there some sort of secret time warp for quiches? 😵💫🌀
December 23, 2025 at 8:53 PM
Okay confused about the cooking time allotment for a quiche. 45 minutes with a pre high bake of 15 minutes? It’s literally just eggs. If the crust is precooked and so are all the added ingredients why exactly do I need to cook eggs for an hour? Is there some sort of secret time warp for quiches? 😵💫🌀
Unpopular opinion: Costco hot dogs are too big?
December 22, 2025 at 5:15 PM
Unpopular opinion: Costco hot dogs are too big?
Probably the most discouraging thing about high fashion is that if you don’t have an active eating disorder and a child sized rib cage and an astonishingly narrow pelvis you will fit into absolutely nothing notably divine.
December 21, 2025 at 5:10 PM
Probably the most discouraging thing about high fashion is that if you don’t have an active eating disorder and a child sized rib cage and an astonishingly narrow pelvis you will fit into absolutely nothing notably divine.
Is anyone else who may have been crafty & creative before social media took over society, like constantly daunted by the idea that if you don’t make content out of the making of the art that it’s almost like it never happened & its value is worthless unless your bragging to everyone online about it🙄
December 18, 2025 at 9:52 PM
Is anyone else who may have been crafty & creative before social media took over society, like constantly daunted by the idea that if you don’t make content out of the making of the art that it’s almost like it never happened & its value is worthless unless your bragging to everyone online about it🙄
A while ago I was reluctantly divulging to my therapist that I’m having a really hard time with the overwhelming feeling of being constantly surveilled and like I’m being tormented by a million identity thieves and doppelgängers,. Her response: “you have to think of yourself as having an evil twin”.
a man in a white shirt and suspenders is smiling and looking at the camera .
ALT: a man in a white shirt and suspenders is smiling and looking at the camera .
media.tenor.com
December 18, 2025 at 4:38 PM
A while ago I was reluctantly divulging to my therapist that I’m having a really hard time with the overwhelming feeling of being constantly surveilled and like I’m being tormented by a million identity thieves and doppelgängers,. Her response: “you have to think of yourself as having an evil twin”.
Whenever I feel bad about my lack of ambition in life I’m always comforted by the thought that at least I’m not so ambitious that I’m now one of the hundreds of human popsicles stuck on Mt. Everest.
December 18, 2025 at 1:05 AM
Whenever I feel bad about my lack of ambition in life I’m always comforted by the thought that at least I’m not so ambitious that I’m now one of the hundreds of human popsicles stuck on Mt. Everest.
Part of the reason I gave up on making art at least for now, is because it all just feels so hollow at this point, like just another distraction to pump resources into as a way to launder money for much more sordid, hidden enterprises. Maybe I’m paranoid or maybe I just started noticing the patterns
December 17, 2025 at 9:33 PM
Part of the reason I gave up on making art at least for now, is because it all just feels so hollow at this point, like just another distraction to pump resources into as a way to launder money for much more sordid, hidden enterprises. Maybe I’m paranoid or maybe I just started noticing the patterns
Some of the oddest behavior I’ve observed in men include doing Pilates, yoga and then deciding to get super fat or ripped just to match someone’s suspicious as fuck algorithm, not because they are in love or anything but because they love money and themselves and gym cults more than anything else.
December 16, 2025 at 3:33 PM
Some of the oddest behavior I’ve observed in men include doing Pilates, yoga and then deciding to get super fat or ripped just to match someone’s suspicious as fuck algorithm, not because they are in love or anything but because they love money and themselves and gym cults more than anything else.
If anyone know what meds you have to take in order to reignite child like wonder LMK. It’s probably mushrooms, acid, or ecstasy but who feels safe enough in their daily environments to experiment with feeling emotionally unsafe anymore? Not me tbh.
December 16, 2025 at 4:04 AM
If anyone know what meds you have to take in order to reignite child like wonder LMK. It’s probably mushrooms, acid, or ecstasy but who feels safe enough in their daily environments to experiment with feeling emotionally unsafe anymore? Not me tbh.
Don’t tell me I’m paranoid when I cannot find multiple charge cords that were previously in my home, are now nowhere to be found. There are definitely mischievous little elves consistently invading my space and taking things for strategic and evil purposes, like denying me a basic income.
December 13, 2025 at 4:55 PM
Don’t tell me I’m paranoid when I cannot find multiple charge cords that were previously in my home, are now nowhere to be found. There are definitely mischievous little elves consistently invading my space and taking things for strategic and evil purposes, like denying me a basic income.
Sorry I’m like this. I haven’t received flowers from a man in over two decades.
December 11, 2025 at 12:54 AM
Sorry I’m like this. I haven’t received flowers from a man in over two decades.
Men want women to be poor but also spend all of their time doing like wild crafting side quests so they can take berries they found and grind them down into lipstick so that men will find them attractive but if they don’t find and grind down the berries for the makeup themselves they are spoiled.
December 7, 2025 at 5:11 PM
Men want women to be poor but also spend all of their time doing like wild crafting side quests so they can take berries they found and grind them down into lipstick so that men will find them attractive but if they don’t find and grind down the berries for the makeup themselves they are spoiled.
People who are encouraging you to try hard things and be okay failing at them don’t realize how much you have already been taking one for the team through failure. For instance all of my recent subscription payments that give me access to a life worth living have failed, repeatedly in recent months.
a cartoon of wendy from peter pan says i 'm soooo frustrated
ALT: a cartoon of wendy from peter pan says i 'm soooo frustrated
media.tenor.com
December 7, 2025 at 5:08 PM
People who are encouraging you to try hard things and be okay failing at them don’t realize how much you have already been taking one for the team through failure. For instance all of my recent subscription payments that give me access to a life worth living have failed, repeatedly in recent months.
The new pretending you’re happy in a toxic relationship is now pretending you’re happy in a toxic relationship with only yourself. good luck you fake ass bitches, no one believes you one way or another because you already proved to everyone that you are FAKE.
December 6, 2025 at 5:21 PM
The new pretending you’re happy in a toxic relationship is now pretending you’re happy in a toxic relationship with only yourself. good luck you fake ass bitches, no one believes you one way or another because you already proved to everyone that you are FAKE.
Maybe I just think I’m ugly because I’m constantly being blasted professional photography shoots of beauty campaigns with armies of aesthetic professionals directing and curating even the most uninteresting and undeserving of influencers online.
December 6, 2025 at 5:06 PM
Maybe I just think I’m ugly because I’m constantly being blasted professional photography shoots of beauty campaigns with armies of aesthetic professionals directing and curating even the most uninteresting and undeserving of influencers online.
I’ve done a lot of stupid shit in my life but at least I never agreed to make up false allegations about being assaulted or raped by someone just to entangle them in a long term non consensual ongoing legal exchange and problematic relationship for the sake of the Illuminati profit models.
November 30, 2025 at 9:28 PM
I’ve done a lot of stupid shit in my life but at least I never agreed to make up false allegations about being assaulted or raped by someone just to entangle them in a long term non consensual ongoing legal exchange and problematic relationship for the sake of the Illuminati profit models.
so anyway sorry I’m not like a pioneer trained homesteader in my Williams Sonoma sponsored kitchen at age 19 wearing some sort of slow life $300 artisanal milk maid shirt, teaching you how to make healthy recipes online. I guess I’m just like a natural dirtbag from stoner woman hell. 👁️ #lymesdisease
a close up of a woman 's face with a tear running down her cheek .
ALT: a close up of a woman 's face with a tear running down her cheek .
media.tenor.com
November 20, 2025 at 4:57 PM
so anyway sorry I’m not like a pioneer trained homesteader in my Williams Sonoma sponsored kitchen at age 19 wearing some sort of slow life $300 artisanal milk maid shirt, teaching you how to make healthy recipes online. I guess I’m just like a natural dirtbag from stoner woman hell. 👁️ #lymesdisease
Is anyone else wondering like what’s wrong with my nipples and why do I keep getting marketed sticky silicone products to cover them up??
November 20, 2025 at 2:34 PM
Is anyone else wondering like what’s wrong with my nipples and why do I keep getting marketed sticky silicone products to cover them up??
The new pink mixed berry Red Bull taste like shower gel but it still tastes better than their original flavor.
November 10, 2025 at 8:23 PM
The new pink mixed berry Red Bull taste like shower gel but it still tastes better than their original flavor.
I’m convinced that people with severe mental grievances and inequalities are more employable than I am as a mid range neurodivergent person. For example, someone with multiple personality disorder is a perfect fit to work in the never-ending black hole that is shit posting comments on the internet.
peter griffin from family guy is sitting at a desk with long pink nails and a computer .
ALT: peter griffin from family guy is sitting at a desk with long pink nails and a computer .
media.tenor.com
October 29, 2025 at 6:28 PM
I’m convinced that people with severe mental grievances and inequalities are more employable than I am as a mid range neurodivergent person. For example, someone with multiple personality disorder is a perfect fit to work in the never-ending black hole that is shit posting comments on the internet.
Idk who needs to hear this but a pit bull isn’t a real dog breed, it’s a derogatory name for a Staffordshire terrier/bully breed mix that was originally bred for the purpose of dog fighting by abusive and exploitative criminal networks, hence the word “(fighting pit) bull” iykyk
October 25, 2025 at 10:55 PM
Idk who needs to hear this but a pit bull isn’t a real dog breed, it’s a derogatory name for a Staffordshire terrier/bully breed mix that was originally bred for the purpose of dog fighting by abusive and exploitative criminal networks, hence the word “(fighting pit) bull” iykyk
Being constantly stalked and surveilled by silicone valley entrepreneur based stalkers is like having a full time, high anxiety job that you don’t get a salary for and no one invites you to any corporate events and gives you stuff for free. 1/10
October 22, 2025 at 6:57 PM
Being constantly stalked and surveilled by silicone valley entrepreneur based stalkers is like having a full time, high anxiety job that you don’t get a salary for and no one invites you to any corporate events and gives you stuff for free. 1/10
probably the worst thing about being a single woman is having men think you’re available to them.
October 20, 2025 at 8:44 PM
probably the worst thing about being a single woman is having men think you’re available to them.
A big part of why I take huge bong rips as a form of self care and therapy is because the alternative would be screaming and punching things and generally taking out my anger in fairly risky and self destructive ways, that would likely land me in the psych ward, which doesn’t seem fun.
October 19, 2025 at 6:27 PM
A big part of why I take huge bong rips as a form of self care and therapy is because the alternative would be screaming and punching things and generally taking out my anger in fairly risky and self destructive ways, that would likely land me in the psych ward, which doesn’t seem fun.
No one has 4.8k friends. No one.
October 19, 2025 at 3:54 PM
No one has 4.8k friends. No one.