THE GRASSHOPPER KING
@goatbagxvx.bsky.social
THANK THE STORM FOR HER TEARS ⒶⒺ
Reposted by THE GRASSHOPPER KING
Evangelion: 2.22 You Can (Not) Advance
June 28, 2025 at 12:30 AM
Evangelion: 2.22 You Can (Not) Advance
THIS APPLE TASTES LIKE CELLULOSIC BIOMASS. AND WATER.
May 2, 2025 at 9:23 PM
THIS APPLE TASTES LIKE CELLULOSIC BIOMASS. AND WATER.
Our trans clients are the best- I just overheard from the piercing room “whenever I get nervous I just remember that I literally chopped my tits off, and most things pale in comparison to that.”
April 13, 2025 at 11:14 PM
Our trans clients are the best- I just overheard from the piercing room “whenever I get nervous I just remember that I literally chopped my tits off, and most things pale in comparison to that.”
Reposted by THE GRASSHOPPER KING
my hope is that AI can empower the Dumbest, Least talented slobs i know to replace everything i ever loved with One Million Years of Content
April 8, 2025 at 3:07 AM
my hope is that AI can empower the Dumbest, Least talented slobs i know to replace everything i ever loved with One Million Years of Content
Reposted by THE GRASSHOPPER KING
What are you trying to optimize in your life and does it actually need to be optimized?
Be careful that you're not losing a game which only you are playing.
Be careful that you're not losing a game which only you are playing.
April 4, 2025 at 10:00 PM
What are you trying to optimize in your life and does it actually need to be optimized?
Be careful that you're not losing a game which only you are playing.
Be careful that you're not losing a game which only you are playing.
SOMETIMES YOU REMEMBER YOUR CAT AND YOU CRY FOR A WHILE
April 1, 2025 at 6:37 PM
SOMETIMES YOU REMEMBER YOUR CAT AND YOU CRY FOR A WHILE
JUST SAW A FOLDUP BICYCLE WITH A GODDAMN RACING FARING. IT IS WEIRD TO SEE FUNCTIONAL DESIGNS BECOME VESTIGIAL FASHION ACCESSORIES BECAUSE BIKE FARINGS LOOK, UH, LIKE SHIT
March 6, 2025 at 6:57 PM
JUST SAW A FOLDUP BICYCLE WITH A GODDAMN RACING FARING. IT IS WEIRD TO SEE FUNCTIONAL DESIGNS BECOME VESTIGIAL FASHION ACCESSORIES BECAUSE BIKE FARINGS LOOK, UH, LIKE SHIT
THE ONLY THING CRAZIER THAN THAT NAPOLEON QUOTE THAT SHITLER TWEETED EARLIER IS THE IMPLICATION THAT MOTHERFUCKER EVER READ ANYTHING, LET ALONE ANYTHING BY AN 18TH/19TH CENTURY FRENCH GENERAL
February 15, 2025 at 10:29 PM
THE ONLY THING CRAZIER THAN THAT NAPOLEON QUOTE THAT SHITLER TWEETED EARLIER IS THE IMPLICATION THAT MOTHERFUCKER EVER READ ANYTHING, LET ALONE ANYTHING BY AN 18TH/19TH CENTURY FRENCH GENERAL
CYBERTRUCK OWNERS CRAVE ATTENTION SO BADLY IT WOULD ALMOST BE RUDE *NOT* TO POINT AND LAUGH AS THEY DRIVE BY. THEY PAID ALL THAT MONEY SO YOU WOULD LOOK AT THEM.
February 10, 2025 at 11:38 PM
CYBERTRUCK OWNERS CRAVE ATTENTION SO BADLY IT WOULD ALMOST BE RUDE *NOT* TO POINT AND LAUGH AS THEY DRIVE BY. THEY PAID ALL THAT MONEY SO YOU WOULD LOOK AT THEM.
THOUGHT I GOT LIKEBOMBED BY A PORN BOT, BUT TURNS OUT IT WAS A REAL PERSON SHE IS JUST KIND OF NAKED AND SUPER POLISH. RIGHT ON, MAN
February 2, 2025 at 7:37 PM
THOUGHT I GOT LIKEBOMBED BY A PORN BOT, BUT TURNS OUT IT WAS A REAL PERSON SHE IS JUST KIND OF NAKED AND SUPER POLISH. RIGHT ON, MAN
Reposted by THE GRASSHOPPER KING
Neon Genesis Evangelion
Episode 9
Mind, Matching, Moment
Both of You, Dance Like You Want to Win!
Episode 9
Mind, Matching, Moment
Both of You, Dance Like You Want to Win!
January 27, 2025 at 9:00 PM
Neon Genesis Evangelion
Episode 9
Mind, Matching, Moment
Both of You, Dance Like You Want to Win!
Episode 9
Mind, Matching, Moment
Both of You, Dance Like You Want to Win!
FUCKIN PUT SALT SCRUB ON MY LOOFAH- I AM TENDER AND SUPPLE, MUCH LIKE A BABY STINGRAY
January 8, 2025 at 8:03 AM
FUCKIN PUT SALT SCRUB ON MY LOOFAH- I AM TENDER AND SUPPLE, MUCH LIKE A BABY STINGRAY
I CREATED A DATING LITMUS TEST FOR MILLENNIALS: IF THEY KNOW THE GOLDFISH CRACKERS SONG AS “THE SNACK THAT SMILES BACK” AND NOT “I LOVE THE FISHES COS THEY’RE SO DELICIOUS” THEN THEY ARE TOO YOUNG FOR YOU BRO
January 5, 2025 at 2:37 AM
I CREATED A DATING LITMUS TEST FOR MILLENNIALS: IF THEY KNOW THE GOLDFISH CRACKERS SONG AS “THE SNACK THAT SMILES BACK” AND NOT “I LOVE THE FISHES COS THEY’RE SO DELICIOUS” THEN THEY ARE TOO YOUNG FOR YOU BRO
I HATE U2 SO MUCH THAT IT MADE ME THINK I DISLIKED DUBLIN AS A TEEN
January 3, 2025 at 11:14 PM
I HATE U2 SO MUCH THAT IT MADE ME THINK I DISLIKED DUBLIN AS A TEEN
I MADE A NICE POT OF RAMEN, BUT USED SPAGHETTI NOODLES. LISTEN:
1) I DONT CARE. SPAGHETTI IS CHEAPER THAN EVEN TOP RAMEN NOODLES.
2) YOU CANNOT HURT ME MORE THAN I HURT MYSELF
1) I DONT CARE. SPAGHETTI IS CHEAPER THAN EVEN TOP RAMEN NOODLES.
2) YOU CANNOT HURT ME MORE THAN I HURT MYSELF
December 29, 2024 at 11:25 PM
I MADE A NICE POT OF RAMEN, BUT USED SPAGHETTI NOODLES. LISTEN:
1) I DONT CARE. SPAGHETTI IS CHEAPER THAN EVEN TOP RAMEN NOODLES.
2) YOU CANNOT HURT ME MORE THAN I HURT MYSELF
1) I DONT CARE. SPAGHETTI IS CHEAPER THAN EVEN TOP RAMEN NOODLES.
2) YOU CANNOT HURT ME MORE THAN I HURT MYSELF
BLUESKY HAS BEEN COOL SO FAR BUT JUST BECAUSE I THUMS DOWN RIGHT WING BULLSHIT DOESNT MEAN I WANT THE ALGORITHM TO GIVE ME SELF-CONGRATULATORY LIBERAL BULLSHIT INSTEAD
December 27, 2024 at 10:53 PM
BLUESKY HAS BEEN COOL SO FAR BUT JUST BECAUSE I THUMS DOWN RIGHT WING BULLSHIT DOESNT MEAN I WANT THE ALGORITHM TO GIVE ME SELF-CONGRATULATORY LIBERAL BULLSHIT INSTEAD
“ESTIMATED DELIVERY WED 12/25” WELL ESTIMATE BETTER, CABRÓN
December 27, 2024 at 10:51 PM
“ESTIMATED DELIVERY WED 12/25” WELL ESTIMATE BETTER, CABRÓN
NON-SPOILER NOSFERATU GRIPES (IT WAS GOOD, STILL GO SEE IT):
1) “GERMANY, 1838” THAT IS FUCKING PRUSSIA MY DUDE.
2) GERMANY / PRUSSIA? BETTER SPEAK WITH AN ENGLISH ACCENT OBVIOUSLY.
1) “GERMANY, 1838” THAT IS FUCKING PRUSSIA MY DUDE.
2) GERMANY / PRUSSIA? BETTER SPEAK WITH AN ENGLISH ACCENT OBVIOUSLY.
December 26, 2024 at 6:45 AM
NON-SPOILER NOSFERATU GRIPES (IT WAS GOOD, STILL GO SEE IT):
1) “GERMANY, 1838” THAT IS FUCKING PRUSSIA MY DUDE.
2) GERMANY / PRUSSIA? BETTER SPEAK WITH AN ENGLISH ACCENT OBVIOUSLY.
1) “GERMANY, 1838” THAT IS FUCKING PRUSSIA MY DUDE.
2) GERMANY / PRUSSIA? BETTER SPEAK WITH AN ENGLISH ACCENT OBVIOUSLY.
CAL FIRE IS DRIVING AROUND THE VALLEY ABSOLUTELY FUCKING BLASTING MARIAH CAREY OVER THEIR LOUDSPEAKER AND SAYING MERRY CHRISTMAS AND SHIT
December 25, 2024 at 1:44 AM
CAL FIRE IS DRIVING AROUND THE VALLEY ABSOLUTELY FUCKING BLASTING MARIAH CAREY OVER THEIR LOUDSPEAKER AND SAYING MERRY CHRISTMAS AND SHIT
TIMES THROUGHOUT MY LIFE THAT MY BODILY SAFETY HAS BEEN ENSURED BY:
COPS: 0. MAYBE -1 TBH
A RANDOM VATO: 5-10.
COPS: 0. MAYBE -1 TBH
A RANDOM VATO: 5-10.
December 21, 2024 at 8:01 AM
TIMES THROUGHOUT MY LIFE THAT MY BODILY SAFETY HAS BEEN ENSURED BY:
COPS: 0. MAYBE -1 TBH
A RANDOM VATO: 5-10.
COPS: 0. MAYBE -1 TBH
A RANDOM VATO: 5-10.
Happy birthday to me, my cat is dying
December 17, 2024 at 6:16 PM
Happy birthday to me, my cat is dying
GOT SOME SMALL NEW TATTOOS
December 14, 2024 at 11:53 PM
GOT SOME SMALL NEW TATTOOS
SOME OF YOU GUYD TALK REAL RECKLESS CONSIDERING YOU ROLL AROUND WITH THE TEMPLE FADE BILLY BOB THORNTON HAD IN SLING BLADE
December 1, 2024 at 11:19 PM
SOME OF YOU GUYD TALK REAL RECKLESS CONSIDERING YOU ROLL AROUND WITH THE TEMPLE FADE BILLY BOB THORNTON HAD IN SLING BLADE
I AM NOT AN “APPLIANCE” HOUSEHOLD BUT A GOOD RICE COOKER IS ESSENTIAL
November 30, 2024 at 9:38 PM
I AM NOT AN “APPLIANCE” HOUSEHOLD BUT A GOOD RICE COOKER IS ESSENTIAL
I DON’T WORK ON CARS TO FLEX, I WORK ON CARS BECAUSE 1) MINE BREAKS 2) THE MORE I KNOW, THE MORE I CAN HELP. GETTING A STRANGER’S VEHICLE UNFUCKED IS SUCH A GOOD FEELING, ESPECIALLY IF IT WILL ULTIMATELY SAVE THEM HUNDREDS OF DOLLARS.
November 28, 2024 at 6:39 AM
I DON’T WORK ON CARS TO FLEX, I WORK ON CARS BECAUSE 1) MINE BREAKS 2) THE MORE I KNOW, THE MORE I CAN HELP. GETTING A STRANGER’S VEHICLE UNFUCKED IS SUCH A GOOD FEELING, ESPECIALLY IF IT WILL ULTIMATELY SAVE THEM HUNDREDS OF DOLLARS.