last week a republican coworker was wondering why the flags were at half staff and I said “Dick Cheney?” And she spent the next 30 minutes loudly chastising herself because she had forgotten

sometimes on the bus I get annoyed if, say, the driver sees someone running for the bus and he waits for them and the light changes and a minute is added to my commute time. But then I remember how much it sucks to miss a bus and how I would want the same done for me, and I get over it

a developer in this meeting just said that regulations requiring insulation in buildings are “why we have homeless camps today”

Got offered a ticket to the spurs game today and had to turn it down because my older kid is sick

my kid’s lately been fond of saying like “I see my other mama and dada in the kitchen. Right there” pointing to what I hope is nothing

genuinely: too incompetent

some great guerrilla marketing

now thats just wrong

when’s he doing the eggs