Glitchy Fable
@glitchyfable.bsky.social
Saying the things out loud you wish you could (alt). Yapping about sales, marketing, startups and scale-ups.
You know that "friend" who says "Let me know what I can do to help."?
Yeah, they have no intention of helping, they just want to LOOK like they're part of the "team" so they can continue to reap the benefits of your relationship (aka throw out asks on their side).
Choose your asks wisely.
Yeah, they have no intention of helping, they just want to LOOK like they're part of the "team" so they can continue to reap the benefits of your relationship (aka throw out asks on their side).
Choose your asks wisely.
October 23, 2025 at 7:25 PM
You know that "friend" who says "Let me know what I can do to help."?
Yeah, they have no intention of helping, they just want to LOOK like they're part of the "team" so they can continue to reap the benefits of your relationship (aka throw out asks on their side).
Choose your asks wisely.
Yeah, they have no intention of helping, they just want to LOOK like they're part of the "team" so they can continue to reap the benefits of your relationship (aka throw out asks on their side).
Choose your asks wisely.
Oh, hello former coworker I haven't talked to for 3 months and who set me up to fail on their way out. I can overlook some of that to have a civil conversation and catch up to preserve the relationship...
What's that? You want me to... engage with your first post as an influencer?
What's that? You want me to... engage with your first post as an influencer?
a woman from schitts creek is holding a book and saying i won t be doing any of that
ALT: a woman from schitts creek is holding a book and saying i won t be doing any of that
media.tenor.com
October 1, 2025 at 5:49 PM
Oh, hello former coworker I haven't talked to for 3 months and who set me up to fail on their way out. I can overlook some of that to have a civil conversation and catch up to preserve the relationship...
What's that? You want me to... engage with your first post as an influencer?
What's that? You want me to... engage with your first post as an influencer?
If I give you all the information I have, I tell you that it’s all the info I have, and you come back asking for more info, we’re going to have a problem.
a man is wearing a grey sweater with a cat on it and a #schitts creek logo behind him
ALT: a man is wearing a grey sweater with a cat on it and a #schitts creek logo behind him
media.tenor.com
September 24, 2025 at 1:19 AM
If I give you all the information I have, I tell you that it’s all the info I have, and you come back asking for more info, we’re going to have a problem.
A friend isn't really a friend if they give you advice that's out of alignment with what they know about you,
but is in perfect alignment with what they want for themselves, especially if it adds friction to your life.
This is a frenemy.
but is in perfect alignment with what they want for themselves, especially if it adds friction to your life.
This is a frenemy.
September 17, 2025 at 2:16 PM
A friend isn't really a friend if they give you advice that's out of alignment with what they know about you,
but is in perfect alignment with what they want for themselves, especially if it adds friction to your life.
This is a frenemy.
but is in perfect alignment with what they want for themselves, especially if it adds friction to your life.
This is a frenemy.
If you have to explain your joke, it’s not funny.
If your joke is so close to reality and not exaggerated enough, it’s not a joke, it’s shitty satire easily mistaken for a personal position.
If your joke is so close to reality and not exaggerated enough, it’s not a joke, it’s shitty satire easily mistaken for a personal position.
August 26, 2025 at 11:27 AM
If you have to explain your joke, it’s not funny.
If your joke is so close to reality and not exaggerated enough, it’s not a joke, it’s shitty satire easily mistaken for a personal position.
If your joke is so close to reality and not exaggerated enough, it’s not a joke, it’s shitty satire easily mistaken for a personal position.
Called it.
Good luck.
Good luck.
It's layoff time!
Good money says they'll keep the bro who's tight with the VP and let the heavy lifter go.
Good money says they'll keep the bro who's tight with the VP and let the heavy lifter go.
a woman is covering her mouth with her hand while holding a bow and arrow .
ALT: a woman is covering her mouth with her hand while holding a bow and arrow .
media.tenor.com
June 9, 2025 at 9:33 PM
Called it.
Good luck.
Good luck.
The women on your team aren't your mothers or your personal project managers.
and no, they're not "nagging" you - they're holding you accountable when you leave them covering your carelessness.
Manage your shit.
and no, they're not "nagging" you - they're holding you accountable when you leave them covering your carelessness.
Manage your shit.
June 9, 2025 at 9:31 PM
The women on your team aren't your mothers or your personal project managers.
and no, they're not "nagging" you - they're holding you accountable when you leave them covering your carelessness.
Manage your shit.
and no, they're not "nagging" you - they're holding you accountable when you leave them covering your carelessness.
Manage your shit.
Ad agency account managers have NEVER met a billable meeting they haven't enjoyed - and will eagerly fill it with jr people who have thin ties to your account.
May 29, 2025 at 9:22 PM
Ad agency account managers have NEVER met a billable meeting they haven't enjoyed - and will eagerly fill it with jr people who have thin ties to your account.
It's layoff time!
Good money says they'll keep the bro who's tight with the VP and let the heavy lifter go.
Good money says they'll keep the bro who's tight with the VP and let the heavy lifter go.
a woman is covering her mouth with her hand while holding a bow and arrow .
ALT: a woman is covering her mouth with her hand while holding a bow and arrow .
media.tenor.com
May 29, 2025 at 2:56 PM
It's layoff time!
Good money says they'll keep the bro who's tight with the VP and let the heavy lifter go.
Good money says they'll keep the bro who's tight with the VP and let the heavy lifter go.
Every wannabe thought leader on LinkedIn throwing around the word "strategy".
(AI isn't a strategy, boo)
(AI isn't a strategy, boo)
two men are talking to each other and one of them is saying you keep using that word .
ALT: two men are talking to each other and one of them is saying you keep using that word .
media.tenor.com
May 27, 2025 at 5:59 PM
Every wannabe thought leader on LinkedIn throwing around the word "strategy".
(AI isn't a strategy, boo)
(AI isn't a strategy, boo)
Lemme get this straight, in three years, you went from college, to accounts payable to CEO of a "thought leadership" company who wants to sell me ghostwriting services at a premium?
Nope. I'm good. 🖕
Nope. I'm good. 🖕
May 19, 2025 at 8:32 PM
Lemme get this straight, in three years, you went from college, to accounts payable to CEO of a "thought leadership" company who wants to sell me ghostwriting services at a premium?
Nope. I'm good. 🖕
Nope. I'm good. 🖕
Your employees are 100% talking amongst themselves about your personality hire.
You're lucky if they're not actively plotting against them.
You're lucky if they're not actively plotting against them.
May 19, 2025 at 3:44 PM
Your employees are 100% talking amongst themselves about your personality hire.
You're lucky if they're not actively plotting against them.
You're lucky if they're not actively plotting against them.
If 40% of your ELT's majority job experience is with a single company (yours), you're absolutely not getting the best.
Real high performers bring a wealth of experience to the table, not just a series of "Yes's".
What they're bringing isn't loyalty, it's cronyism.
Real high performers bring a wealth of experience to the table, not just a series of "Yes's".
What they're bringing isn't loyalty, it's cronyism.
May 9, 2025 at 12:56 AM
If 40% of your ELT's majority job experience is with a single company (yours), you're absolutely not getting the best.
Real high performers bring a wealth of experience to the table, not just a series of "Yes's".
What they're bringing isn't loyalty, it's cronyism.
Real high performers bring a wealth of experience to the table, not just a series of "Yes's".
What they're bringing isn't loyalty, it's cronyism.
Your employees report to you, not me.
When I raise an issue with your direct reports, it's YOUR job to fix it.
If you bring me into a meeting and set me up to do YOUR job, because you're scared to do it yourself or want me to look like an asshole, it won't go the way you want.
Guaranteed.
When I raise an issue with your direct reports, it's YOUR job to fix it.
If you bring me into a meeting and set me up to do YOUR job, because you're scared to do it yourself or want me to look like an asshole, it won't go the way you want.
Guaranteed.
May 9, 2025 at 12:51 AM
Your employees report to you, not me.
When I raise an issue with your direct reports, it's YOUR job to fix it.
If you bring me into a meeting and set me up to do YOUR job, because you're scared to do it yourself or want me to look like an asshole, it won't go the way you want.
Guaranteed.
When I raise an issue with your direct reports, it's YOUR job to fix it.
If you bring me into a meeting and set me up to do YOUR job, because you're scared to do it yourself or want me to look like an asshole, it won't go the way you want.
Guaranteed.
If you're not my employee I'm not going to give you direction on what you should be working on or where you should start.
You're a grown up and (supposedly) a professional. Figure that shit out yourself and don't ask me to carry the mental load for you.
You're a grown up and (supposedly) a professional. Figure that shit out yourself and don't ask me to carry the mental load for you.
May 5, 2025 at 7:30 PM
If you're not my employee I'm not going to give you direction on what you should be working on or where you should start.
You're a grown up and (supposedly) a professional. Figure that shit out yourself and don't ask me to carry the mental load for you.
You're a grown up and (supposedly) a professional. Figure that shit out yourself and don't ask me to carry the mental load for you.
Nothing like having an idea stolen from you, without credit, to motivate you to put it in market first.
I will absolutely shift my priorities to make a point.
The lesson for me is to do a better job moving in silence.
I will absolutely shift my priorities to make a point.
The lesson for me is to do a better job moving in silence.
April 21, 2025 at 5:00 PM
Nothing like having an idea stolen from you, without credit, to motivate you to put it in market first.
I will absolutely shift my priorities to make a point.
The lesson for me is to do a better job moving in silence.
I will absolutely shift my priorities to make a point.
The lesson for me is to do a better job moving in silence.
Not sure why you'd host a webinar and NOT feature your primary SME with name recognition. But go ahead and feature the employee who's been the "chosen favorite" instead.
You do you, boo.
BTW, qualitative data can't be statistically significant.😉
You do you, boo.
BTW, qualitative data can't be statistically significant.😉
February 24, 2025 at 9:33 PM
Not sure why you'd host a webinar and NOT feature your primary SME with name recognition. But go ahead and feature the employee who's been the "chosen favorite" instead.
You do you, boo.
BTW, qualitative data can't be statistically significant.😉
You do you, boo.
BTW, qualitative data can't be statistically significant.😉
BDRs: WE NEED LEADS!
I send a lead
BDRs: I NEED EVERYTHING FULLY SCOPED FROM THIS LEAD
No. I'm not doing your job in addition to mine
I send a lead
BDRs: I NEED EVERYTHING FULLY SCOPED FROM THIS LEAD
No. I'm not doing your job in addition to mine
February 14, 2025 at 5:47 PM
BDRs: WE NEED LEADS!
I send a lead
BDRs: I NEED EVERYTHING FULLY SCOPED FROM THIS LEAD
No. I'm not doing your job in addition to mine
I send a lead
BDRs: I NEED EVERYTHING FULLY SCOPED FROM THIS LEAD
No. I'm not doing your job in addition to mine
That feeling when a company leader, who is not an operator, refuses to adjust the focus and pivot and you have to sit back and watch the ship slowly take on water. 🥺
Not a good feeling.
Lean on your operators, be open to conversations.
Not a good feeling.
Lean on your operators, be open to conversations.
February 12, 2025 at 5:55 PM
That feeling when a company leader, who is not an operator, refuses to adjust the focus and pivot and you have to sit back and watch the ship slowly take on water. 🥺
Not a good feeling.
Lean on your operators, be open to conversations.
Not a good feeling.
Lean on your operators, be open to conversations.
Sure, let's target shorter higher volume/higher competitive keywords for an audience we don't know.
Winning strategy. 👍
Winning strategy. 👍
January 31, 2025 at 5:49 PM
Sure, let's target shorter higher volume/higher competitive keywords for an audience we don't know.
Winning strategy. 👍
Winning strategy. 👍
You CANNOT reposition your content to resonate with your audience if you
- don't have a specific audience target
- know the problems they're trying to solve
- and how it connects to your offer
I mean you can, but you're just making assumptions (guessing) which means you're wasting effort.
- don't have a specific audience target
- know the problems they're trying to solve
- and how it connects to your offer
I mean you can, but you're just making assumptions (guessing) which means you're wasting effort.
January 31, 2025 at 5:43 PM
You CANNOT reposition your content to resonate with your audience if you
- don't have a specific audience target
- know the problems they're trying to solve
- and how it connects to your offer
I mean you can, but you're just making assumptions (guessing) which means you're wasting effort.
- don't have a specific audience target
- know the problems they're trying to solve
- and how it connects to your offer
I mean you can, but you're just making assumptions (guessing) which means you're wasting effort.
Planning conversations around creating differentiation inevitably circling back to doing the VERY THING that everyone else is doing.
Oh, yeah, didn't see that coming. 🙄
Oh, yeah, didn't see that coming. 🙄
January 31, 2025 at 5:33 PM
Planning conversations around creating differentiation inevitably circling back to doing the VERY THING that everyone else is doing.
Oh, yeah, didn't see that coming. 🙄
Oh, yeah, didn't see that coming. 🙄
Anyone carrying water for Nazi's and Elon and denying what he did is going to have a bad time when the bill comes due and the screenshots come out.
Just because someone isn't telling you that they're watching doesn't mean they aren't gathering receipts.
Just because someone isn't telling you that they're watching doesn't mean they aren't gathering receipts.
January 21, 2025 at 8:10 PM
Anyone carrying water for Nazi's and Elon and denying what he did is going to have a bad time when the bill comes due and the screenshots come out.
Just because someone isn't telling you that they're watching doesn't mean they aren't gathering receipts.
Just because someone isn't telling you that they're watching doesn't mean they aren't gathering receipts.
If you expect me to read your mind, you're going to be met with a blank stare in response. And a lot of awkward silence. (awkward for you)
I'm no longer available to make mental leaps when you can't clearly communicate what you want/need.
I'm no longer available to make mental leaps when you can't clearly communicate what you want/need.
January 14, 2025 at 5:28 PM
If you expect me to read your mind, you're going to be met with a blank stare in response. And a lot of awkward silence. (awkward for you)
I'm no longer available to make mental leaps when you can't clearly communicate what you want/need.
I'm no longer available to make mental leaps when you can't clearly communicate what you want/need.
Proud of myself.
Fully relaxing into the "not my circus, not my monkeys" mindset and didn't send those list of corrections and feedback I was never asked for, but that glared at me as obvious issues.
You told me, "I got this." So, go get it.
Fully relaxing into the "not my circus, not my monkeys" mindset and didn't send those list of corrections and feedback I was never asked for, but that glared at me as obvious issues.
You told me, "I got this." So, go get it.
a baby is laying on a couch with his hands behind his head and wearing a tom jerry shirt .
ALT: a baby is laying on a couch with his hands behind his head and wearing a tom jerry shirt .
media.tenor.com
January 13, 2025 at 7:20 PM
Proud of myself.
Fully relaxing into the "not my circus, not my monkeys" mindset and didn't send those list of corrections and feedback I was never asked for, but that glared at me as obvious issues.
You told me, "I got this." So, go get it.
Fully relaxing into the "not my circus, not my monkeys" mindset and didn't send those list of corrections and feedback I was never asked for, but that glared at me as obvious issues.
You told me, "I got this." So, go get it.