My 5 stages are just 1 stage and it’s all anger

Okay Boris & Natasha

Happy Turkey day Y’all! May the mash potatoes be saltier than your racist uncle.

If tears are lubrication for your eyes, then why do they get so damn red when you cry?! Are you not moisturized enough??

So now that Matt Gaetz has withdrawn from AG, who do we think Trump will tap next? My money is on Hulk Hogan.

Looking forward to see what farm I’m going to get sorted into after January. Gonna take forever to sort all the ADHDers.

We need to stop saying “it can’t get any worse” after Trump taps a potential cabinet member. It got worse after the Fox News dude. It got worse after RFK Jr. It got worse after Elon Musk. It got worse after Matt Gaetz. I can’t live like this lol #itcanalwaysgetworse

We need to start normalizing 2-person Thanksgiving Dinners-to-go #thanksgiving2024

Whomever borrowed the single brain cell, please return it. My cat is desperately looking for it.

Playing Dragonage Veilguard after playing Baldur’s Gate 3 is like drinking a La Croix. There’s an essence of flavor there.

Thinking of breaking things off with my boyfriend because theres no better diet than a breakup. It’s the motivation we all need this holiday season.

We’ve reached new levels of hilarity in this timeline. Once you dissociate a little though, it’s actually really funny.