And now I'm just stuck here being miserable. Under an unspoken expectation to be here to "help" grandma by my dad's family. I can't even leave when she treats me like I'm her "son" and I won't tell her anything because she doesn't take me seriously.

I hate this place so much

#vent 9/9

I had been lead to believe that the plan I made in high school was good enough, or that I had no reason to continue worrying about it. Since COVID happened, I was lead to believe that remote work was the future and furthered my belief that driving wasn't needed.

#vent 8/9

I've fucking pigeonholed myself into an almost impossible situation. I had been lead to believe that driving wasn't that important because my parents didn't push me hard enough, and I didn't push myself because I was too busy disassociating at a computer.

#vent 7/9

I sometimes can't sleep at night because it makes so frustrated to think about. I'm starting to realize remote work is gonna be difficult because she's gonna be nagging at me or our dogs barking, and on-site work is difficult because I'm limited to public transportation.

#vent 6/9

it's why I'm basically on my computer all the time, the videos I watch just pass the time and i don't even need to properly socialize. Everything I do is online.

#vent 5/9

I know grandma cares and wants to see me get a job and be successful, but she doesn't realize that she's the main source of de-motivation for me. Every day is a constant reminder that I'm stuck here in this place of misery.

#vent 4/9

My dad just stays in the garage most of the time with his wife, and now he isn't even here sometimes. Off working in a different state. Leaving me with my now only grandma.

#vent 3/9

But I grew up with my dad's side of the family. While i do think they care for each other, it is a stark contrast compared to my mom's family. That side of the family doesn't really get together for holidays, and I don't really have the same kind of memories with them.

#vent 2/9

Sometimes I feel like I grew up on the wrong side of my family. My mom's side of the family was nice, and I had a lot of good memories when I visited them on holidays. Even when my mom's parent's were in hospice care, someone from the family always showed up to make sure they were okay.

#vent 1/9

Hep

Also, i've been thinking about making a community discord server at some point. i don't know when, and i still don't know how i feel about moderating it

I've also been working my MC Randomizer mod, updating it to 1.21.8. There's still a lot of work left to do.

woa... the adorable critter...

at least it's not abandoned