If you feel suicidal yourself please reach out to friends and family if you can. Or reach out to support agencies. You can get through this. It’s ok to ask for help.

This link has international suicide crisis lines grouped by country.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of...

The Wheatstone Pond by Robert Westall?

There is a Gwen John on the cover of one of Rowan Williams' poetry collections.