gen
@gen-7gosen.bsky.social
イラストレーターさんです
生きるためだけに頑張ってる
絵描きさんと仲良くなりたい
I make occasional illustrations based on personal interests, animation, music
生きるためだけに頑張ってる
絵描きさんと仲良くなりたい
I make occasional illustrations based on personal interests, animation, music
I have been thinking that it's better for me to be far away from friends/ people I like because when I got too close I got hurt and ended up causing trouble to everyone around me (from my pov)
It will be healthier for me to distance myself entirely rather than to go through emotional rollercoasters
It will be healthier for me to distance myself entirely rather than to go through emotional rollercoasters
December 24, 2025 at 7:42 AM
I have been thinking that it's better for me to be far away from friends/ people I like because when I got too close I got hurt and ended up causing trouble to everyone around me (from my pov)
It will be healthier for me to distance myself entirely rather than to go through emotional rollercoasters
It will be healthier for me to distance myself entirely rather than to go through emotional rollercoasters
Reposted by gen
August 1, 2025 at 2:16 PM
I have too many thoughts in my head
how do I clear my head
I want to draw or practice piano or anything at this point except worry but my mind keeps replaying all of these anxieties
how do I clear my head
I want to draw or practice piano or anything at this point except worry but my mind keeps replaying all of these anxieties
December 24, 2025 at 5:11 AM
I have too many thoughts in my head
how do I clear my head
I want to draw or practice piano or anything at this point except worry but my mind keeps replaying all of these anxieties
how do I clear my head
I want to draw or practice piano or anything at this point except worry but my mind keeps replaying all of these anxieties
I was going through books and I have almost no books about art or techniques but quite a lot of language books and to some extent a lot of coding books
December 24, 2025 at 4:44 AM
I was going through books and I have almost no books about art or techniques but quite a lot of language books and to some extent a lot of coding books
But it was an attempt to get closer to everyone and it worked
Since I stopped doing that I really think I've become so distant from everyone and in some way I feel far more left out and alienated from the people I spent years wishing I could be part of
I think that's why drawing isn't fun anymore?
Since I stopped doing that I really think I've become so distant from everyone and in some way I feel far more left out and alienated from the people I spent years wishing I could be part of
I think that's why drawing isn't fun anymore?
December 24, 2025 at 3:24 AM
But it was an attempt to get closer to everyone and it worked
Since I stopped doing that I really think I've become so distant from everyone and in some way I feel far more left out and alienated from the people I spent years wishing I could be part of
I think that's why drawing isn't fun anymore?
Since I stopped doing that I really think I've become so distant from everyone and in some way I feel far more left out and alienated from the people I spent years wishing I could be part of
I think that's why drawing isn't fun anymore?
I mean, I made a lot of art back then when I was so devoted to the idea that I wanted to be there too~ thinking I really wanted to share everyone's excitement so making a drawing was the only way I could do that
but it also made me terribly sad at times too... thinking I am the only one left out
but it also made me terribly sad at times too... thinking I am the only one left out
December 24, 2025 at 3:22 AM
I mean, I made a lot of art back then when I was so devoted to the idea that I wanted to be there too~ thinking I really wanted to share everyone's excitement so making a drawing was the only way I could do that
but it also made me terribly sad at times too... thinking I am the only one left out
but it also made me terribly sad at times too... thinking I am the only one left out
since I stopped caring about it as much, or gave up on caring about it, I started to care a little less about being involved with the communities of people I liked and maybe that's why drawing isn't as much fun? I think I was drawing with the excitement of finding a way to participate too
December 24, 2025 at 3:19 AM
since I stopped caring about it as much, or gave up on caring about it, I started to care a little less about being involved with the communities of people I liked and maybe that's why drawing isn't as much fun? I think I was drawing with the excitement of finding a way to participate too
but sometimes I feel like when I felt SO strongly about the idea of being part of those moments it was a lot like a "goal" and I felt that it pushed me to be involved in communities of friends more because in some way I thought I was experiencing it by the proxy of being connected to everyone there
December 24, 2025 at 3:18 AM
but sometimes I feel like when I felt SO strongly about the idea of being part of those moments it was a lot like a "goal" and I felt that it pushed me to be involved in communities of friends more because in some way I thought I was experiencing it by the proxy of being connected to everyone there
I used to get very sad about not being able to go to the events my friends in Japan go to but actually I guess I grew up a little now because I no longer feel anything about it anymore
I think that's the only sign of growing up I've felt as a person ~ it's just throwing away impossible expectations
I think that's the only sign of growing up I've felt as a person ~ it's just throwing away impossible expectations
December 24, 2025 at 3:17 AM
I used to get very sad about not being able to go to the events my friends in Japan go to but actually I guess I grew up a little now because I no longer feel anything about it anymore
I think that's the only sign of growing up I've felt as a person ~ it's just throwing away impossible expectations
I think that's the only sign of growing up I've felt as a person ~ it's just throwing away impossible expectations
I feel so disappointed in every version of myself
perhaps someday I'll invent a version of myself I can live with and throw all the other things away
perhaps someday I'll invent a version of myself I can live with and throw all the other things away
December 23, 2025 at 9:38 AM
I feel so disappointed in every version of myself
perhaps someday I'll invent a version of myself I can live with and throw all the other things away
perhaps someday I'll invent a version of myself I can live with and throw all the other things away
I might give up on art for now because I'm not able to even think of it atm without feeling a deep sense of tiredness and reluctance
even looking at other peoples art is making me feel that way
I'll never improve like this but maybe it's that pressure that lead me to this anyway?
even looking at other peoples art is making me feel that way
I'll never improve like this but maybe it's that pressure that lead me to this anyway?
December 23, 2025 at 9:34 AM
I might give up on art for now because I'm not able to even think of it atm without feeling a deep sense of tiredness and reluctance
even looking at other peoples art is making me feel that way
I'll never improve like this but maybe it's that pressure that lead me to this anyway?
even looking at other peoples art is making me feel that way
I'll never improve like this but maybe it's that pressure that lead me to this anyway?
Reposted by gen
December 23, 2025 at 8:23 AM
I'm not giving up on art but I think I just want to reevaluate what I'm drawing for, why and what I'm making
I just want to give myself a good reason
I just want to give myself a good reason
December 23, 2025 at 8:38 AM
I'm not giving up on art but I think I just want to reevaluate what I'm drawing for, why and what I'm making
I just want to give myself a good reason
I just want to give myself a good reason
I used to think being a creative person was the one thing I had but in reality I can't even keep up with that because I'm overwhelmed. My mind doesn't work anymore.
I've tried but there's just no getting out of the cycles I'm stuck in. I don't believe in it anymore. It's not possible.
I've tried but there's just no getting out of the cycles I'm stuck in. I don't believe in it anymore. It's not possible.
December 23, 2025 at 8:20 AM
I used to think being a creative person was the one thing I had but in reality I can't even keep up with that because I'm overwhelmed. My mind doesn't work anymore.
I've tried but there's just no getting out of the cycles I'm stuck in. I don't believe in it anymore. It's not possible.
I've tried but there's just no getting out of the cycles I'm stuck in. I don't believe in it anymore. It's not possible.
I think I've been getting wrapped up in some sense of despair as well
it's like the future feels like a waste, it feels like I'm lost with nowhere to fit into anything... I can't catch up and I can't break out of the situations I'm trapped in
I don't have even one thing on my side
it's like the future feels like a waste, it feels like I'm lost with nowhere to fit into anything... I can't catch up and I can't break out of the situations I'm trapped in
I don't have even one thing on my side
December 23, 2025 at 8:18 AM
I think I've been getting wrapped up in some sense of despair as well
it's like the future feels like a waste, it feels like I'm lost with nowhere to fit into anything... I can't catch up and I can't break out of the situations I'm trapped in
I don't have even one thing on my side
it's like the future feels like a waste, it feels like I'm lost with nowhere to fit into anything... I can't catch up and I can't break out of the situations I'm trapped in
I don't have even one thing on my side
also ... I'm wondering why my mind isn't giving me those "sparks" of inspiration such as that intense feeling of loving something and wanting to share it with other people? I think being shamed for liking things really hit me hard
December 23, 2025 at 8:13 AM
also ... I'm wondering why my mind isn't giving me those "sparks" of inspiration such as that intense feeling of loving something and wanting to share it with other people? I think being shamed for liking things really hit me hard
I also think mostly focusing on spending time in Japanese Twitter which was an immersive language exchange experience helped me a lot but these days I'm lazy
I just open discord or this timeline and read stuff in English
I think I should give up on that completely
I just open discord or this timeline and read stuff in English
I think I should give up on that completely
December 23, 2025 at 8:12 AM
I also think mostly focusing on spending time in Japanese Twitter which was an immersive language exchange experience helped me a lot but these days I'm lazy
I just open discord or this timeline and read stuff in English
I think I should give up on that completely
I just open discord or this timeline and read stuff in English
I think I should give up on that completely
I actually think my past self did not doomscroll as much as I do now and did not waste time researching useless worries and questions and doubts for hours
that may be one thing that has changed for me... possibly if I want to get back to myself tuning most of the internet is best for me
that may be one thing that has changed for me... possibly if I want to get back to myself tuning most of the internet is best for me
December 23, 2025 at 8:11 AM
I actually think my past self did not doomscroll as much as I do now and did not waste time researching useless worries and questions and doubts for hours
that may be one thing that has changed for me... possibly if I want to get back to myself tuning most of the internet is best for me
that may be one thing that has changed for me... possibly if I want to get back to myself tuning most of the internet is best for me
I regret not signing up for some volunteer stuff this week
I guess when I don't do things like that I start sinking into mania and depression and overthinking and wanting to hide away from the world
I guess when I don't do things like that I start sinking into mania and depression and overthinking and wanting to hide away from the world
December 23, 2025 at 7:25 AM
I regret not signing up for some volunteer stuff this week
I guess when I don't do things like that I start sinking into mania and depression and overthinking and wanting to hide away from the world
I guess when I don't do things like that I start sinking into mania and depression and overthinking and wanting to hide away from the world
I've thought of like 30 different ways of rearranging my room and my desk for better mental clarity
it's not really working
it's not really working
December 23, 2025 at 7:11 AM
I've thought of like 30 different ways of rearranging my room and my desk for better mental clarity
it's not really working
it's not really working
I think it's fair to say I've hit a dead end and can't find my way back to the start
I have no idea how it became like this but I'm afraid to start drawing again
I have no idea how it became like this but I'm afraid to start drawing again
December 23, 2025 at 4:10 AM
I think it's fair to say I've hit a dead end and can't find my way back to the start
I have no idea how it became like this but I'm afraid to start drawing again
I have no idea how it became like this but I'm afraid to start drawing again
I remembered how Kakki Haruka is THE idol I love ~
Same Numbers is actually a good song too and she expresses it well~
www.youtube.com/watch?v=EG7t...
Same Numbers is actually a good song too and she expresses it well~
www.youtube.com/watch?v=EG7t...
乃木坂46『Same numbers ～真夏の全国ツアー2025 FINAL IN 明治神宮野球場 DAY4～』【第76回 NHK紅白歌合戦 / 第67回 輝く！日本レコード大賞 歌唱楽曲】
YouTube video by 乃木坂46 OFFICIAL YouTube CHANNEL
www.youtube.com
December 23, 2025 at 4:03 AM
I remembered how Kakki Haruka is THE idol I love ~
Same Numbers is actually a good song too and she expresses it well~
www.youtube.com/watch?v=EG7t...
Same Numbers is actually a good song too and she expresses it well~
www.youtube.com/watch?v=EG7t...
Reposted by gen
December 23, 2025 at 12:33 AM