Happy new year to everyone here, this is the only social media that has ever made my life feel richer.

Thank you all for adding to the luxury of my life.

If we all sprinkle the joy we have we will end up as happy as doughnuts decorated by an unsupervised toddler.

I’m sure the people that are furious about the NHS spending around £100m a year on translation services are going to go stratospheric when they see that £715m was spent on… well, nothing.

Another point to note, which is also obscured in the headline, the impact on Tesco’s profits will be £250m.

Funny how the headline chose to do £1bn, isn’t it?

By the by, this image is behind a paywall, so if you didn’t have a Sunday Times subscription, you wouldn’t see this.

A quick bit of context that is, unsurprisingly, missing from this terrifying headline.

Tesco’s pre-tax profits for 23/24 came in at £2.3bn.

In 22/23 their pre-tax profits were £0.8bn.

My violin?

Positively microscopic.