I need the intrauterine coke 😭

nods sagely

thank youuu it must be mostly deleted accts (yea that IS fucked up) cause I don't have that many ppl blocked + haven't made THAT many enemies round these parts I don't think. maybe I got put on a Hamilton blocklist again unbeknownst to me

I AM OBSERVINF

THE BAMNDNANAAAAA

i wonder, with hope, if those partners would give away my story as freely as I offered it; I dream that they understand i do not need them to write, but chose them. I wonder, too, if the other 9 year old girls from the wildhorsedreams forum are okay.

i learned what eroticism *could* be - I wrote to discover, to interface with sex and self, to learn how it felt to be intimate and yet safe. i did not write *for* my (writing) partners - though I often come to love their companionship and skill - and whenever the writing between us goes away,

from ages 8 to 11 I cut my teeth as a writer on long form roleplay forums, imagining myself an animal: a jaguar in a tree starving for (something), a horse in a turbulent herd, a rabbit in a hutch with a hankering for freedom. i sought sites with rules that posts must exceed 500 words,

i never looked at it again once i found out my mom had violated me like that; I had wanted to be listened to and held, I wanted the right person to read it and love me, not sell it or brag on me. i was 11. i'd lost too much already & then my writing, my safe place, was taken, too.

a san antonio investor liked this post so I blocked him. I might have to leave this site real fast