I have south of the borderline personality disorder, gaslighting people to buy me nachos
April 26, 2025 at 11:49 PM
I have south of the borderline personality disorder, gaslighting people to buy me nachos
Snap, Crackle, and Pop’s eldest brother, Lactaid
April 23, 2025 at 8:52 PM
Snap, Crackle, and Pop’s eldest brother, Lactaid
Crop-dusting at the pearly gates
April 14, 2025 at 12:35 AM
Crop-dusting at the pearly gates
Juliet: Wherefore art thou, Joe?
Cotton Eyed Joe: Gee gaw ge dee gee
Cotton Eyed Joe: Gee gaw ge dee gee
April 12, 2025 at 12:01 AM
Juliet: Wherefore art thou, Joe?
Cotton Eyed Joe: Gee gaw ge dee gee
Cotton Eyed Joe: Gee gaw ge dee gee
Sure, Mary, we’re surrounded by screaming camels and you’re covered in afterbirth but let’s drag in some waif off the street to wail on drums for a few hours to really set the mood
April 9, 2025 at 7:52 PM
Sure, Mary, we’re surrounded by screaming camels and you’re covered in afterbirth but let’s drag in some waif off the street to wail on drums for a few hours to really set the mood
George Washington Carver also collected stamps but folks only remember him for killing Mr. Peanut
April 7, 2025 at 6:48 PM
George Washington Carver also collected stamps but folks only remember him for killing Mr. Peanut
burglars beware, got the hookup for an illegal flamethrower bidet that “cleans you to the bone”
March 21, 2025 at 1:32 PM
burglars beware, got the hookup for an illegal flamethrower bidet that “cleans you to the bone”
it’s “unhoused,” not “slug”
March 14, 2025 at 9:32 PM
it’s “unhoused,” not “slug”
them: this is quite the kerfuffle
me: hell yeah, I could use a hug right now
them:
me: [thinking a kerfuffle is a huge wobbly bird that gives out hugs] haha boy I hope this guy also smells like cinnamon
me: hell yeah, I could use a hug right now
them:
me: [thinking a kerfuffle is a huge wobbly bird that gives out hugs] haha boy I hope this guy also smells like cinnamon
March 6, 2025 at 5:34 PM
them: this is quite the kerfuffle
me: hell yeah, I could use a hug right now
them:
me: [thinking a kerfuffle is a huge wobbly bird that gives out hugs] haha boy I hope this guy also smells like cinnamon
me: hell yeah, I could use a hug right now
them:
me: [thinking a kerfuffle is a huge wobbly bird that gives out hugs] haha boy I hope this guy also smells like cinnamon
sorry, I got discombobulated by the word discombobulate
March 6, 2025 at 4:20 PM
sorry, I got discombobulated by the word discombobulate
Just got beaten out of the Apple Dumpling Gang
March 5, 2025 at 10:59 PM
Just got beaten out of the Apple Dumpling Gang
looking to host a fun mental illness for the summer
February 28, 2025 at 6:25 PM
looking to host a fun mental illness for the summer
Monkeys writing Shakespeare but it’s my butt creating a symphony over the years with sporadic bursts of gaseous insight
February 20, 2025 at 3:17 AM
Monkeys writing Shakespeare but it’s my butt creating a symphony over the years with sporadic bursts of gaseous insight
Naming my daughter Penny so I can leave her at a gas station counter
February 20, 2025 at 3:08 AM
Naming my daughter Penny so I can leave her at a gas station counter
donkey-tonk or heehawnky
February 14, 2025 at 8:07 PM
donkey-tonk or heehawnky
shunned for a few bad choices, Buffalo Bill was an early advocate for skincare and loving thyself
February 11, 2025 at 2:43 PM
shunned for a few bad choices, Buffalo Bill was an early advocate for skincare and loving thyself
guess people are spangling banners with anything these days
February 10, 2025 at 2:29 AM
guess people are spangling banners with anything these days
working for the weekend’s out, we’re obliterating into a level of non-existence past death now
February 10, 2025 at 2:25 AM
working for the weekend’s out, we’re obliterating into a level of non-existence past death now
found a lump on my truck nuts
February 9, 2025 at 4:50 PM
found a lump on my truck nuts
Ancient aunts putting “veni vidi vici” signs from Romegoods above their aqueducts
February 7, 2025 at 9:00 PM
Ancient aunts putting “veni vidi vici” signs from Romegoods above their aqueducts
just got The Beatles pun, it’s because they are little beetles that can play music with their tiny feet
February 7, 2025 at 4:56 PM
just got The Beatles pun, it’s because they are little beetles that can play music with their tiny feet
armpit stench wafting out stink lines, a pair of hobos floating dead behind me like defunct satellites
February 6, 2025 at 1:52 PM
armpit stench wafting out stink lines, a pair of hobos floating dead behind me like defunct satellites
stale biscotti made my peepaw’s head shatter with one bite
February 6, 2025 at 1:51 AM
stale biscotti made my peepaw’s head shatter with one bite