Turns out the Rapture WAS supposed to happen on Sept. 23rd, but in the centuries since first revealing it to John, God figured out some things about Herself and updated it to better reflect Her refined vision.

We can't tell you everything just yet, but.. let's just say I hope you like lampreys 🤭

Haters will say Braggy failed her mission. Then explain the visible baby bump on the Hubble Telescope for the past few months?

Checkmate, dipshits.

Homie forgot the proper term of potato mashed

Corporate Meeting is now called to point at Gagger Gord

Staggy Rogers owes me twenty dollars.

Waggy Rogers, family pet and godfather to Whoopsie Doo. Committed honorable seppuku after avenging Whoopsie's tragic death.

Braggy Rogers, last seen loading herself into a cannon in an attempt to "fuck the Hubble." It remains to be seen whether her mission succeeded. Fly high, Braggy!

Saggy Rogers, backstabbing prick. Impaled on the horn of Gaggy's prized stuffed rhinoceros. Deserved.

Baggy Rogers, could never quite find pants that fit him. Alive but gay.

Haggy Rogers, tried to eat a whole ham hock in one bite like in the cartoons but choked on the bone and died :(

They're trying to clone the dog

Wasn't even sure if I should dignify this with a reply but I guess I am

Lets hope they don't notice I'm posting on here

Gagger Ford will instead undergo the Hydraulic Press for their punishment

PP go wee wee

Taffy Pulling your dick if that is your wish

Commence Hour 1 of 7

IT'S THE TAFFY PULLER FOR YOU! YOU HAVE 30 MINUTES TO REPORT TO THE LAFFY TAFFY ROOM. FAILURE TO COMPLY WILL BE MET WITH FORCE AND AN ADDITIONAL HOUR.

Gag Spectrum Corporate would like to remind its members that any further libel, slander, or misinformation over this matter is punishable by 6 hours in the Laffy Taffy puller

Gagger Ford and Gagger Gordon this is your one warning ⚠️