and reputation is my favorite album of hers, but if i had to choose between rep TV and her buying back her originals, i would've chosen for her to buy back her originals. it's not even ten years old and i'm glad she doesn't have to revisit it fully bc i wouldn't fuckin be able to either

I still don't think she's a terrible person or a monster even if things since then have come to light that are fucking bad about her I don't think she's irredeemable and she was a deeply hurting person from the start. I wish her love, comfort, happiness, safety, and stability

And like I don't know where it started i don't care to pinpoint it we both talked to each other with malice and I should've ended it the second she took 'no' as 'convince me' the first time we did anything sexual within our first month together in 2014

Because of how I am now. Im scared that the second i get close enough to someone again though I'll become a terrible person again and that's why I've been alone for so long

I can't believe the shit i used to say. The anger and the hurt because I had no idea how to deal with my hurt and was frankly straight up not compatible with her but was codependent for years. I can say I sit with things now. I'm not as volatile. I try to tell ppl my past and they don't believe me

It's been almost 10 years since I've had sex and even still by myself I freeze and break down sometimes. I've kept myself alone and isolated for this long. I can swear I've healed and grown a little but is it that or have I just paused

i was just feeling my shoulder and it's like. hard. i can feel the bone under my skin. that's new when did that happen
also i lost 5 lbs recently largely due to sterilization surgery and then grieving over my gam so i don't recommend