down to 205! turns out starving yourself works lol. being hungry is kind of fun i think.

i know that being skinny again wont make me happy or help me feel better, but i'll be damned if it isnt the one thing i feel like i need in my life right now. feels kind of absurd, considering how miserable i was. my brain is so eager to make me forget just so that i can feel desirable again

i think the real eating disorder is the friends we made along the way 💅😌

if i could just stop eating that would be nice. everytime i have an upsetting thought, have a bad day, even little tiny things, i'll start thinking about food.

i'm just going to try and get back into the habit of 36 hour fasts because i genuinely can't look at myself in the mirror right niw