NEWS ANCHOR: seven more ICE agents in critical condition after chasing a blind old man into a construction zone that he was somehow able to navigate effortlessly while they kept getting creamed by steamrollers, poured concrete, and I-beams dropped by cranes.

Full platoon of ICE agents feared dead after they chased someone into a opera performance and all got tricked into holding the same note until the combined strength of their voices caused the building to collapse onto them